1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Need someone to give me stern words .

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ff392, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. 6 weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after I found out he'd had a 2 week affair. He did saying he needed to have some time to think and a week later he moved into a rented house and the woman moved in as well ! Things have been understandably tense between us and now he,s not arranging to see our 3 boys. But I have days where I can happily call him every name under the sun and feel ok about being on my own. But I have days like today when I feel low and miss him ... Help needed .
     
  2. 6 weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after I found out he'd had a 2 week affair. He did saying he needed to have some time to think and a week later he moved into a rented house and the woman moved in as well ! Things have been understandably tense between us and now he,s not arranging to see our 3 boys. But I have days where I can happily call him every name under the sun and feel ok about being on my own. But I have days like today when I feel low and miss him ... Help needed .
     
  3. You poor thing! Not sure stern words are what you need - you're allowed to miss him. You loved him, and he betrayed you - and you probably haven't got over that yet. Allow yourself to feel low and miss him, and look forward to the next day when you can happily call him every name under the sun again.
    Be kind to yourself.
     
  4. Look you silly cow, not only has he left he has moved in with his doxy AND is now ignoring his kids!
    LOW LOW!!!! You should be standing high on a soap box telling his mother what a c.rap job she made of bringing him up!
    Snap out of it woman..... grow some backbone!






























    (Feel free to spit at me but I hope that was stern enough. I'm no good with sympathy, but please don't hesitate to ask for more stern words as and when needed)
     
  5. Made me smile as very true! X
     
  6. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    Do you have family who could have your boys for a few days? It sounds as if you need a few days/ nights to get really mad/ p!ssed/ upset without upsetting your children. You also need an action plan...
    (((ff392)))
     
  7. Lucky to have great family support but worry they'll get fed up with being up and down. My boys have been great and only seen me as their strong mum. My action plan is not to see him but need to somehow stop the eternal conversations I have in my head ....
     
  8. WHAT a pr.ick. Ugh.
    No stern words, but I will offer a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Hope things get better soon.
     
  9. inq

    inq

    Also posted on H&W
    It's a hard decision to have made but sounds like the right one. NOW, stern words! Go do something fun with the boys, doesn't have to be expensive why not all make a cake, go to the park, fly a kite, throw paper aeroplanes, have a pillow fight and remind yourself what he's missing by not seeing them!
     
  10. Must admit an enjoying spending time with my boys even though they are all taller than me ! Think I'm missing who I married but not now the person he,s turned into in such a short time . Just cant believe I'm now on my own ( well separated as not on own ! ) ( didn't realise I posted it on H & W ? )
     
  11. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    What Pobble said.
    xxx
     
  12. Not good at stern words but yes what pobble said!
    Take care xxx
     
  13. Just feel so angry and let down as didn't see it coming and even though it was a 2 week affair , I knew I had to tell him to leave ....
     
  14. Might you have taken him back if the tart hadn't moved in with him?
    I haven't much of an opinion of women who target married men. Most of them are only after a ready-made home (half a house when it goes ****-up) and a deeply damaged sense of being so f*cking sexy that he was even prepared to walk away from his wife and kids for her.
     
  15. If you knew then you knew.
    You've said you miss the man you married - but that man has grown up into someone else, someone you don't like and can't trust.
    So he let you down - boo hoo! (that might be a bit too strong, sorry).
    But you are still alive and (quite understandably) feeling like blubbing! So blub away. Make sure your family understand how devastated-but-trying-to-rebuild you are. If you are sure then make it a given that he is no longer 'yours'. That way no well meaning bod will try to be your go-between!
    Have a good long sit down and decide.... then work at making it so!

    I recently helped a work friend do this, she knew too..... and now she is doing stuff she didn't realise she resented not being able to do. She and her girl are off on new adventures and happier than they have been for a long while. So it can be done! You just need to forgive yoruself the odd moment of wobbly lower lip and even enjoy it!
     
  16. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    These should keep you going for a while.
    • Disappointed.
    • Arrogant.
    • Egotistical.
    • Betrayal.
    • Pathetic.
    • Concerned.
    • Malevolent.
    • Ruin.
    • Mislead.
    • Deceive.
    • Abandon.
    • Wanton.
    • Conceited.
     
  17. Maybe she didn't know he was married. My mate had an affair, his wife didn't know he was doing it, the other woman had no idea he was married! Guess who he used as a generic excuse to both of them? He was, and remains a lying piece of doggy-do. I haven't seen him for 10 years or so, but it still annoys me as he dragged me into his lies without me knowing either! Git.
     
  18. I friend of mine has just divorced her husband and successfully in as much as she had all his money off him !
    He lived with his girlfriend but he went back to my friend because he missed his children who had a poor opinion of him, plus he hadn't got any money ! She is happy and her family think she is mad. But this wasn't the first time he'd had an affair and it probably won't be the last. Ok so she is control but I'm not sure he will want to live like that for long?
    So your man made his decision and you made yours. You asked him to leave and there was the opportunity for the girlfriend to move in. Can't turn back time and best not to look back. Keep busy. No good calling him names and getting angry with him.. I don't think it will make you feel better, just make you ill. Easily said than done in such an emotional situation. He couldn't resist the temptations of an affair sadly. Try to have some fun. Lord knows you need it ! Can you go away for a short break with friends to have a change? You're doing well so hope it all works out for you.


     
  19. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

  20. Am glad I posted this to hear people saying what I know i should be doing ! Yes The Tart knew he was married and she too was married and left 2 children with their dad when she moved in. Would I have taken him back if he hadn't of moved her in .... who knows but all I know now is it,s over as no way would I entertain it ! Dont know how people try again ! X
     

Share This Page