My sons godfather and his wife have recently lost their baby, she was 2 days old. As you can imagine it has been an awful time. We have respected their wishes to wait until they contact us before going to visit. We assumed this meant that the funeral would be a private affair. However we have been invited to the funeral which is on Monday. I have never been to a funeral that was not for an elderly family member so I am unsure as to whether to send flowers, cards etc. We are also attending the burial and I have decided to let my young son choose a teddy for the baby to put at her grave, perhaps with a note, should I leave this another time when the grave has been filled? I am so anxious of doing the wrong thing in such an emotional situation. I'm also afraid of crying in front of her parents, it's their day to say goodbye and I feel by crying that I might upset them as whatever I am feeling it must be a million times worse for them. Can you do the wrong thing in this situation? I want them to know how much I care without intruding on their day.