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need help

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by s4mm13, Jun 28, 2012.

  1. LittleBrownBear

    LittleBrownBear New commenter

    Have PM'd you (hope you don't mind) as I am going through exactly the same.
    LBB
     
  2. y9840125

    y9840125 Occasional commenter

    I am an outstanding teacher and am on day 6/7 self certifying time off for stress and exhaustion. for the past three weeks I have felt like I needed time off for a couple of days but there was always something - a meeting, a theatre trip etc etc. Going to the doctor in some respects gives you the permission you need to take that time guilt free. I did. Please do the same. It really isn't worth it and no one will thank you. Look after yourself.
     
  3. I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow morning but not sure what i'm expecting to happen. I don't want to be signed off so not really sure why I'm going.
    It was not a good day today. Lots of tears and some terrible incidents. The only up side is that they were not just limited to me...
     
  4. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    It is chance for you to discuss your feelings openly and honestly with a professional. You doctor can then decide an appropriate course of action to take. There are other options available besides being signed off (although it does sound as if this is what is really needed). Your doctor is best placed to advise what these are.
    Please give the doctor all of the information about how low you are feeling and what thoughts have been going through your head over recent days. It may help if you spend some time jotting these down tonight or in the morning, so that if, when you are sitting in the surgery, you feel overwhelmed or unable to communicate exactly how you feel you can at least hand these notes over to the doctor. They will understand as you will not be the first to come to them in this state. They can only help you if you give them all of the facts.
    I do hope that it gives you some comfort to know that you have taken this step, thereby gaining some control over your situation with a chance to take action in <u>your</u> best interests.
    Take care
    More hugs [​IMG]
     
  5. I'm so nervous.
    I have a piece of paper with some notes on it, but I'm really scared they will try and sign me off. I know it's rediculous. I'm supposed to on a trip with the kids tomorrow that is leaving really early and as I live so far away I had to book into a holtel which has cost me a lot of money which I can't afford to lose as it's non refundable.
    So many stupid things in my head.
    oh I don't know what is going to happen. I'm supposed to be back at school this afternoon.
    Will it all be ok?
     
  6. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    Eventually yes, but sooner if you do as advised by your doctor.
    Good, I hope this helps.
    It may be the best thing for you - but there are other options remember. Do what your doctor thinks is best. It may be a combination of strategies and treatments.
    I hope all goes well with the appointment.
    Take care.
     
  7. I've just got back from the doctor and he advised that i take some time off and had written a note for two weeks. This has really upset me even though he has made it clear that it is not my fault that this has happened and that it is a failure of the school to support me properly.

    He wants me to go back in a week to see him and see how things are going.

    I'm not sure what to do now. I was only covered at school for the morning and have the rest of my lessons to teach, so need to go back in, there are a lot of staff out because of trips and illness. I want to talk to someone at school about what has been written, but am worried as some of them have tried really hard to support me the best they can and I don't want them to be upset by what has been written.

    By taking the time off I really feel like i'm admitting defeat and the school and students have won.

    I feel so confused.
     
  8. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    Technically if your doctor has signed you off as unfit for work you should not go in. There is an insurance issue - you will not be covered.
    That aside though try not to view it as admitting defeat - you are merely taking a 'time out' in order to regroup and face the challenges in both a better state of mind and general health. You must be exhausted.
    Take this time and go and see him in a week's time as suggested.
    School will go on - they will cope - they have to. Someone can provide emergency cover lessons for your classes. None of us is indispensable in school - we sometimes need to realise that and put ourselves first.
    Too soon for this I think.
    Even more reason to stay away and look after yourself.
    Take care.
     
  9. Thank you Marlin,
    I really can not thank you enough.
    I did contact someone at school to let them know what the doctor has adivsed and I have been told that I am not able to go in, even if I want to.
    I really am very upset about this, but the choice has now been taken out of my hands.
    I lose the &pound;150 that i had to spend out on the hotel room that I booked so i could acompany our students on a trip. I know this is a trivial thing, but money is so so tight I can't afford to have lost it in this way. There is no chance of a refund as it clearly states in T&C that it is a non-amendable, non-refundable room...
    Feeling very low
     
  10. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    As I said before - this is because you have no insurance cover.
    So, as another poster said - this gives you the right to feel 'guilt free' and to concentrate on you.
    But you had written off the money anyway, expecting it to go from your account, so in fact you are no different financially than if you had gone on the trip. Try to look at it this way if you can.
    I don't know your circumstances - but it sounds as if you live on your own. Is there a family member or close friend you could go and stay with so that you could have some company? You don't have to be available for school and so there is no reason why you can't get on a train and go far away if that is where you would feel most at ease.
    Try to rest anyway today - take yourself off to bed and sleep or curl up on the sofa and watch some TV or listen to the radio. Give yourself a break and a chance to think about other things or nothing at all. You have permission to do whatever meets your needs now.
    [​IMG]
     
  11. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    You ok s4mm13?
     
  12. Hi Marlin,
    I'm beginning to feel much more in control. I hadn't really realised how much time I really needed to take for myself.
    I'm still a little worried about what is going on at work and what i'm missing and will be sitting down later to plan the cover for the lessons overb the next week and a half.
    Having said all that, I didn't shed one tear yesterday which is a massive improvement. I guess you don't really realise how low you've got until someone gives you the permission to take the time for yourself.
    Thank you for all of your care and support.
    S4mm13
     
  13. Hey there,

    I just wanted to say that I have been where you are - I ended up signed off for 7 months after limping in, refusing docs advice, checking work e-mail days off here and there and setting cover for far too long. My words of wisdom are NO SCHOOL CONTACT AT ALL and that includes setting cover. It's the end of term and pre-exams so stop worrying and have a proper break. Your action plan should be as follows (this is a mixture of good sense and school policy - following it protects you)

    1. You must try to find one SLT that you can confide in.
    2. Meet with them informally, give them as much info as you are comfortable with and ask to be referred to occ health as quickly as possible. Tell them that you will be away from school now through to September and on docs advice will not be setting cover etc. Arrange a catch up (face to face or telephone) towards the end of the holidays. All of this allows for timetabling contingency etc and is a courtesy to the school
    3. See occ health. Be honest. They are working to support you.
    4. Relax and recover taking appropriate doctor's advice / meds / counselling
    5. Prepare a list of your worries about September. It may be that a phased return is the way to ease yourself into September (I am assuming you are full time)?
    6. Have the catch up and informal negotiations about phased return / reduced duties if this is right for you at the time.

    Of course it probably won't happen in this order but believe me when I tell you that your SLT will have dealt with things like this many times before. Knowing what is up ahead will hopefully help you deal with the feelings of powerlessness and fright you are currently experiencing. You are not alone even though you will fing colleagues are unsure how to deal with non-visible illness. This is not your fault. Keep posting. Lots of Love and best wishes from someone a year down the line. Anne xxxx
     
  14. Hi there Anne,
    Thank you for your advice and support. I am going to find it difficult to switch off completely. I am constantly checking my emails etc and thinking about school especially as I'm worried about timetabling for next year and really don't want to be out of the loop...
    I had applied for a job earlier on in the week, before being signed off, and found out today that I have been shrotlisted for interview early next week.
    I was so shocked and my initial reaction was horror and worry. After crying down the phone to my boyfriend and my mum I decided that I am going to attend the interview. I've got nothing to lose, but absolutely everything to gain.
    I'm a little nervous as my confidence is almost rock bottom, but will do my best to wow the interviewers.
    I'm a real mess of emotion at the moment, but would really regret turning down this opportunity. I will pull myself together and try my best to shine.
     
  15. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    Will you be signed off when you go to the interview?
     
  16. Yes.
    I have tried to find out if this would be an issue on the jobseekers thread, but couldn't get an answer in time before the school needed to know if I would attend or not.
    I was and still am concerned about this.
     
  17. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    No, it's hard for us to see what is best - that's why we have to take, and follow, the advice of professionals.
    Small steps - allow yourself plenty of time.
    Yes - this is the 'guilt-free' feeling <u>you</u> are allowed to take care of <u>you</u>.
    Please don't think about cover lessons. You shouldn't be doing them - that is a part of the job you have permission not to do! Can you just point someone in the direction of where resources are kept and just give a very general heading. Once someone else has covered one of your lessons they are much better placed to know where the children got to, what needs going over again and how to move on.
    Have been out all day and so have only just seen your post from this morning - hope the day has gone well.
    Take care.
     
  18. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    I'd see your gp and get it on your records if they think it is ok and check with your union. People do go on interviews whilst signed off and the issue is your current school could have a problem with you not being well enough to work, but well enough to go to an interview. If they do they could make things difficult.
     
  19. Are you sure a new job is the right thing for you for now? Isn't this all unecessary stress when you are feeling under the weather?
     
  20. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    If the stress is caused by the current job hopefully a new job could solve it quickly.
     

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