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My worst nightmare!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by BelleDuJour, May 1, 2012.

  1. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    OMG. Mr Belle has, in his wisdom, invited some friends of his for Sunday lunch in a couple of weeks.
    This is fine, I don't mind (I am just hoping they're not stuck up upper class twits as some of his friends are, by his own admission).
    However, I've just learned they will be bringing their grandchildren, aged 2 and 4, both boys.
    Problem is I hate kids! I really dislike them. Babies are ok. GCSE and A level students are ok (that's all I teach). My own, now grown up, kids are great (but wasn't too keen on them when they were little).
    Anything in-between nappies and 15 makes me want to run for the hills (even some 15 year olds do that).
    But a 2 year old and 4 year old?
    Yikes!
    My house is not child proof, I am not child proof..............help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    How can I stay calm and look like I'm having fun?
     
  2. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    OMG. Mr Belle has, in his wisdom, invited some friends of his for Sunday lunch in a couple of weeks.
    This is fine, I don't mind (I am just hoping they're not stuck up upper class twits as some of his friends are, by his own admission).
    However, I've just learned they will be bringing their grandchildren, aged 2 and 4, both boys.
    Problem is I hate kids! I really dislike them. Babies are ok. GCSE and A level students are ok (that's all I teach). My own, now grown up, kids are great (but wasn't too keen on them when they were little).
    Anything in-between nappies and 15 makes me want to run for the hills (even some 15 year olds do that).
    But a 2 year old and 4 year old?
    Yikes!
    My house is not child proof, I am not child proof..............help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    How can I stay calm and look like I'm having fun?
     
  3. markuss

    markuss Occasional commenter

    How about the garden? (You'll need the weather, of course.)
     
  4. The really scary thing is, they are boys. Be afraid, be very afraid.
    Hope it's a fine day and you can turf them outside.
     
  5. Crowbob

    Crowbob Senior commenter

    Well, they are not her children and so I see no reason why she shouldn't lock them outside, even if it is raining.
     
  6. Small boys are only a problem if you object to them jumping on furniture with shoes on.
     
  7. Hmmmm.....that's unusual. I am presuming they are people of 50+ so dinner with you and Mr Belle would have been an adult, pleasant affair. A two year old can be hell on earth...(so can a four year old - I am thinking back to my two sons when they were young) and I bet any money you'll be pandering to the kids whims all the time they are there. At that age they just can't sit still for long, get bored easily if they are expected to stay in one spot and make a lot of noise if they are displeased. They'll be into everything too, unless grandparents are very strict...and to be honest, it won't be much fun for grandparents OR kids I wouldn't have thought if you have to watch their every move in a strange house.
    Given you've not met these folks it's a shame husband didn't arrange a foursome so you could get to chat and know them without their focus being elsewhere for much of the time.
    I presume they asked Mr Belle if it would be OK and presumably he said yes, but I'd bet that when the invite was first issued he wasn't expecting them to bring their grandchildren. Can you rearrange it for another time when they are child-free? You'd think they'd do the polite thing too and ask if they could come at another time because they are baby-sitting little boys that weekend. I am sure they love their grandsons, but bringing them to lunch just puts pressure on everyone.
    Buffet. Finger food (with lots of baby wipes handy!) I think Belle....a formal three course meal would be a nightmare for all concerned I imagine and will be wasted on everyone, unless those kids are paragons of virtue...and if they were, they'd be very strange children.
    I like other people's children for about all of two minutes. After the "Oh isn't she gorgeous/cute/sweet/ bright..." whatever (genuinely meant) I don't really find their company a lot of fun. I am sure if they were my own grandchildren I'd be beaming with pride and hooked on their every move and word...but other people's ankle-biters....nah.

     
  8. I liked my children and I like my grandchildren but that is as far as it goes. I'm not keen on small children either.
    I suggest you phone the grandparents and ask them to bring toys for the children as you haven't anything to keep them amused. That might be enough to give them a gentle hint.....if not, it at least to be hoped that Mr Belle's friends will look after the children themselves and not expect you to be running around after them.
    I agree with AE, a simple meal that won't spoil should the kids play up! Good luck [​IMG]
     
  9. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Excellent idea. I assume that they have accepted the invitation on the full understanding that the kids will be their sole responsability and that it's a grown up party,not a kids'one.
     
  10. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Too bloody right they will!
    You know exactly how I feel Cosmos.
    I have to drive past a posh-ish 'Day Nursery' every day on my way to school and seeing all the yummy-mummies delivering their offspring makes me shudder. Ewwwwww!!!
    I think I'll cook a roast as it's fairly simple and straightforward. If the weather's nice we can all go outdoors. If it's not, I'll lock the kids out and sit indoors with a large <strike>glass</strike> bottle of red! [​IMG]

     
  11. Tell the grandparents to leave the kids at McDonalds and give the eldest a mobile in case of emergencies.
    Sorted!
     
  12. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    I completely understand this too. Now my own children are older, I can think of nothing worse than having 2 of that age, running about - especially when trying to eat.
    Can't you develop a severe allergy to them before they come, and cancel? [​IMG]
     
  13. dozymare1957

    dozymare1957 Occasional commenter

    BBQ - husband cooks. Everyone stays in garden. You sit back and relax, getting slowly ***.
    Maybe kids will be adorable (hahahahaha)
    You are obviously a much nicer person than I am. My husband wouldn't dare invite anyone to the house without asking me first - and I'd probably say no anyway!
    I wouldn't even consider child-friendly food - if not doing BBQ then a really hot curry would be best. Make sure you have lots of poisonous plants around and warn the grandparents that they are very unsafe for little children so they will have to keep the boys close to them. Also put down some rat poison and tell them what it is. Try to borrow a ferocious dog to scare the children so they aren't tempted to wander too far from grandma and grandpa. If possible have a roaring fire with no fireguard.
    Good luck. I'll be thinking of you and look forward to hearing how it goes!

     
  14. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    It does seem odd that they should ask to bring their grandchildren along ... and a bit on the cheeky/presumptous side too. As a mother of young children myself, I'd be mortified if my parents had to drag my kids along to a lunch date with strangers. Still, I shouldn't judge as I don't know the circumstances.
    Well it's done now, and I daresay it won't be half as bad as you think it's going to be! Just make the best of it. It's one afternoon out of your life and the boys may even surprise you!
    Buy a bag of balloons and some bubbles (dirt cheap) for the garden and all will be well. Oh, and discount stores often sell footballs for a pound. The couple of quid you spend will be worth it if it keeps them entertained all afternoon.
    Good luck [​IMG]
     
  15. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I already am allergic to rugrats!
    Trouble is we had invited this couple before, but they had to cancel for whatever reason. Mr Belle re-booked them but we are doing something every weekend until mid June, then off to France end of June, so really this was the only possible weekend. Mr Belle is a bit of a 'people-pleaser' (although he's very good a 'displeasing' me at times..............this is one of them!) and so agreed to the kids without asking me first. The thing is, he won't be cooking but, as an neat-freak and somewhat obsessed with cleanliness, bordering on OCD, this will be interesting to watch!
    I think I'll just hide in the kitchen with a bottle.
     
  16. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Absolutely not. Belle is not having a party where kids will be the centre of attention. Ballons and bubbles will jst get them worked up and required adult's intervention. Grown ups were invited and they are choosing to bring unexpected children along. It's up to them to make sure the kids play quietly while the grown ups are talking.
     
  17. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Why on earth would the above require adult intervention? It's more likely to have the opposite effect, keeping them playing and entertained on their own.

     
  18. Actually, bubbles is a good idea for a two and four year old and really requires minimum input from an adult.
     
  19. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I think I'll just tie them to the chairs and duct tape their mouths shut [​IMG]
    Honestly, I am so dreading it I just know I'll not sleep the night before. They're not coming until Sun 20th.
    Is it wrong to hate kids this much?
    (BTW I have two stepchildren 10 and almost 12. I struggle with this on a daily basis, and as kids go they're pretty good. But if I was being completely honest I'd rather not have them at all)
     
  20. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    OK. So Poundland it is! But not until Mr Belle gives me the money!
     

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