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My plan to make oodles of cash...

Discussion in 'Education news' started by MrMedia, Mar 29, 2016.

  1. MrMedia

    MrMedia Star commenter

    I was thinking about this. See, there are some kids who are always going to get decent GCSEs. Their parents push them, nag them, they are generally nice kids, they do their homework and revise and they are going to hit their EBAC grades not a problem. I could put them in front of bog standard unqualified teachers and they would probably do ok.
    Now, if I can find a whole school of them - some thing like a converter academy in a nice area then I am quids in.

    Here we go.

    Strip out all the experienced teachers on UPS. Hire mainly unqualified teachers. Scrap all non-ebac subjects and get rid of those teachers. Remove all extra curricular activities, clubs, etc. Basically, anything other than stuff for the exams can go.

    Then, I'd buy in even cheaper staff. Gym class staff, students and what not and get them to run sessions instead of lessons. Reduce the 'taught' lessons down to say maybe 15 a week.

    All non-teaching staff on zero hours contracts.

    Charge kids to eat their own lunch if they don't buy mine.

    Set up my own supply agency who pay me a finders fee for every recommended 'teacher' and then give the contract to my own agency from my own chain.

    And then I'd have a executive team all paid to recommend contracts to my other companies.
    Boy, then I could pay myself so much money it would be untrue.

    The only thing is, I'd clearly save too much money and would be stockpiling large amounts of cash in the chain. Any ideas how I could get the cash out?
  2. wanet

    wanet Star commenter

    You could give yourself a pay rise. Or set up even more, to bring in even more money. Or you could sell your system to others, especially if you keep a few qualified teachers to create courses and traing schemes. Just keep giving yourself a pay rise.
  3. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter


    Or you could ask some of the CEO of some of the Academy chains who have been named and shamed.

    Things like . . . renting as Academy offices a property that belongs to your partner, etc. :eek:

    Best wishes

  4. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Actually reading through this in the current educational climate, it seems all too frighteningly plausible and we are part way there already. As for getting the cash out just be brazen and award yourself huge pay rises every year. If anyone queries this use the bank excuse; 'We have to pay competitive salaries to attract and retain the best staff otherwise they'll go elsewhere.'
    delnon and emerald52 like this.
  5. MrMedia

    MrMedia Star commenter

    Those schools in, Hampshire is it? Look mighty fine for picking. By the time I've asset stripped them they will be still meeting the floor targets and generating me a lovely little pension pot. All those UPS teachers and arts subjects can go straight away.
    delnon likes this.
  6. wanet

    wanet Star commenter

    if you also get a friend to set up a supply agency. Give them exclusive rights. You can then funnel money out by paying a good price for supply, but only pay the staff the minimum.
    delnon likes this.
  7. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Set up a shell company and pay that company to provide CEO services. You are the CEO and so you trouser the fees!
  8. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    Have you thought about an Education consultancy business to run alongside this venture where you could offer your advice for a totally unreasonable fee? :rolleyes:
    delnon likes this.
  9. Benbamboo

    Benbamboo Occasional commenter

    Surely your new staff would need training in all the new pseudo-science nonsense, much of which could be provided (at a considerable cost) by a spouse, sibling or in-law. If you have any who don't share your surname then you could totally avoid any awkward questions.

    The staff don't have to implement anything, but the raining would be great for their CPD. It has the added benefit of showing how much you care.
    delnon and emerald52 like this.
  10. slingshotsally

    slingshotsally Star commenter

    Have you considered opening up a European campus or an international outpost in Shanghai or somewhere in main land China?

    What about creating lesson plans, resources, presentations that other schools could buy?

    What about setting up a franchise?

    delnon and emerald52 like this.
  11. ricjamclick

    ricjamclick New commenter

    Have only read the OP.

    Of course you can do this. Might I suggest, in addition to your unqualified staff, you build big class rooms and have classes of around 50 students with 2 (unqualified) TAs supporting? This also is a sure-fire way to keep costs down and you can actually advertise a better ratio of adults to young people! Your teacher might have to use didactic methodologies a lot of the time and never get to have quality relationships due to such large classes, but personal relationships with students are way overated, aren't they?

    As for getting the money out, that's very easy. Make yourself a CEO and give yourself a huge expenses budget and unlimited rules on how to claim them .Easy peasey, and none of that annoying PAYE rubbish that you have to pay now. So easy when you know how!

    ric ;-)
    delnon and emerald52 like this.
  12. SportyK

    SportyK Occasional commenter

    Write and market your own curriculum which you would sell back into your MAT...winning!
    delnon, emerald52 and MrMedia like this.
  13. MrMedia

    MrMedia Star commenter

    The potential for corruption is a joke. What isn't a joke is that these are all examples of what has actually happened.

    What we need is something like what happened to the MPs. A retrospective investigation in which people are ordered to pay back money that they have engineered out of the system.
    delnon, fudgeface, wanet and 2 others like this.
  14. SportyK

    SportyK Occasional commenter

    Indeed, this entire situation makes me very angry. But, we cannot forget why we are teachers, we're here to enhance the life chances of children. I'm at a loss, I don't want to strike I just want to teach but what else can we as workers 'at the coal-face' do to make any kind of difference??? Looks like repeat strikes are the only way to get attention.
    emerald52 likes this.
  15. ricjamclick

    ricjamclick New commenter

    We have to be very careful there. Whilst I agree with your sentiments, we would need to be united about how and why we were striking. At the moment I don't think this is possible, unfortunately. we'd also need to be A little bit more creative than we have been in the past about getting parents and children (especially older children) Onside and supportive of strike action. Again, being explicit of how and why you were striking could aid this. But it's not a panacea: we'd need to convince the public that we are doing the right thing by them by employing the tactics the doctors use. Joints strike action with them might be a way to go!

    I think that the way public funds can be misused, the way in which our professionalism is encouraged by the white paper, and the treatment of status of the teacher via QTS replacement actually the key issues, along with mass Academisation, which has a lot of popular support against.
  16. schoolsout4summer

    schoolsout4summer Star commenter

    Here is a strikingly brilliant idea. Why not call a strike during the Summer Holidays? This way no-one will be bothered and no-one will care.
  17. MrMedia

    MrMedia Star commenter

    Strike action. You know and I know that teachers and striking don't mix. We do don't do it well, it costs money, no one cares and it achieves little. Truth is we care too much about children to be ruthless.

    Linton Crosby. Now there is a step we must o'erleap or fall. Get that man thinking middle England sees the academisation programme as a shameful grubby little thing suitable for ne'erdowells and nefarious shysters and that anyone pro-academies is nothing but a duck pond claiming free-loader and the Tories will quickly decide that this lady is for turning after all.

    The Telegraph has a penchant for exposing free-loaders and rules that are easy to abuse - they were the ones that went after MPs and their to expenses in the first place. What we need are stories in The Telegraph and The Daily Fail poisoning the brand name of academies. Lynton's nose will soon twitch. Don't pay good money to strike, pay good money to run infomercials in those papers. Here's my £50.
    emerald52 likes this.
  18. darklord11

    darklord11 Occasional commenter

    These people are the real criminals as they line their pockets at the expense of childrens education who are in their care. A recent example is the executive who lacked business understanding ( we believe you) in Birmingham, yet the SFO seem unwilling to investigate these blatant acts of fraud.
    delnon likes this.
  19. SportyK

    SportyK Occasional commenter

    True, if the gov't cut their own throats by means of adopting their 'ideological' stance we might get somewhere. I hope it happens sooner rather than later, and that the public 'care' about what is going on.
  20. WJClarkson

    WJClarkson Occasional commenter

    I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, but striking in the holidays wouldn't make people listen. They could just ignore us because we aren't affecting their lives. In order to make people understand that this is a serious issue, we need to disrupt their lives a little. Striking during the holidays just means a days pay gone and no real world impact. However, it could help keep the public onside but I don't think it will make them (and the government) truly listen.

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