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My partner passed away last Saturday - compassionate leave?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by supply slave, Jan 22, 2011.

  1. Post title says it all. Stress brought on asthma attack so not in Mon and Tues. Wed lasted half a day. Went in Thurs managed full day but went to doctors thouroughly exhausted who suggested few day rest and sleeping tablets so off Fri. Said I would be back Mon but not sure I can face it as her funeral is Thurs. Am I entitled to any kind of compassionate leave - getting stressed again.
  2. Post title says it all. Stress brought on asthma attack so not in Mon and Tues. Wed lasted half a day. Went in Thurs managed full day but went to doctors thouroughly exhausted who suggested few day rest and sleeping tablets so off Fri. Said I would be back Mon but not sure I can face it as her funeral is Thurs. Am I entitled to any kind of compassionate leave - getting stressed again.
  3. Gosh, I am so sorry for your loss.
    I don't know what leave you're entitiled to, but when my grandad died my mum had 2 weeks off (teacher too.) Could your doctor sign you off if compassionate leave is not granted?
    Please don't stress yourself out, you'll make yourself ill and then you'll be no good to anyone!
    I hope all gets sorted.
    Many hugs xxx
  4. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    What this post says to me is that you are ill. You are grieving and your grief is impacting on your physical health. Go to the doctor's, explain that to him/her and ask to be signed off for a period of time, you can review the time span with your doctor later on.
    Sorry for your loss.xx
  5. Why not sit down and talk with your headteacher. Ask for a fortnight from now to regain your health and make necessary arrangements. They wouldn't just be cold-hearted to refuse they would be stupid as you'll get signed off anyway.

    So sorry for your loss.
  6. Sorry to hear about your loss.
    When my day died I was allowed 5 days paid personal leave to arrange the funeral etc.
    It is in our school policy. I think all schools will have their own policies- hopefully yours should allow you some time.
  7. Dad not day! My fault for trying to send post too soon!
  8. Crystalsecrets

    Crystalsecrets New commenter

    Ok i dont work in a school so i stand to be corrected if i am wrong but i cant believe a school would be so horrible as to not let you take tme off as your partner has just passed away.
    Are they aware of the situation? did they not ask if you wanted to take some time off?
    I'm sorry but if i lost someone that close to me i wouldnt be going back to work straight away. I appreciate that we all deal with grief differently and some people would want to go back for the distraction but the school should be sensitive to what you are going through.
    Contact them on Monday and say you need some time off, im sure they will want to help.
    Meanwhile look after yourself and put yourself first :)
  9. School policy should tell you how many compassionate days you're entitled to.
    However, you may need to be signed off. Grief is so debilitating and this can hardly have begun to sink in yet.
    Take care of yourself, so sorry for your loss.
  10. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    A regular poster lost her husband to a long battle with cancer a couple of years ago - I believe she had a term off followed by a staged return.
    I really don't think I owuld be able to go to work at all for a considerable time iof my darling o/h died: I would be in pieces!
  11. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    I suspect from your user name that you're on supply, unfortunately you won't be entitled to anypaid leave, but get yourself signed off so you can claim sickness benefit.
    I'm so sad for you, I lost my father 5 weeks ago and I wouldn't be able to work yet.
  12. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    My condolences to you on your sad loss.
  13. Thank you all for your kind messages of support. Just to clarify I was supply but have just started a maternity cover contract until end of August. Don't want to lose it as I have waited for ages for this opportunity which has the possibility of permanent. I know for a fact she would not have wanted me to *** this up.

    ROSIEGIRL Senior commenter

    Even so, you need to take care of yourself.
    Take some time.
    Best wishes. x

  15. baileysonice

    baileysonice New commenter

    Sorry to hear of your loss. I think when you're recently bereaved you can lose all sense of time and unrealistically expect yourself to get over it more quickly than other people expect you to. From my own experience of losing a close family member and trying to carry on as normal, I would say be kind to yourself and take the time you need to cope with your feelings which will probably be very unpredictable.

    It might be an idea to take this week off so you can get the funeral behind you at least - I'm sure your colleagues will understand and if they don't maybe it's not the sort of school you want to work in permanently anyway? I remember feeling very much "in limbo" during the period leading up to the funeral - in retrospect you'll maybe see that it's completely understandable that you can't face teaching right now - it's a demanding job even when you're feeling on top form. Try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to a colleague in the same position. Please look after yourself at this difficult time.
  16. Blimey, I have known four people have bereavements in their immediate family (not parents, but children and partners) and most haven't come back for weeks, one was months and months after his daughter died suddenly. Talk to your head and doctor and get the time you need!
  17. If you're on supply you're entitled to sweet FA. If you're on any sort of contract you can take the compassionate leave dictated by the Chief Of How Compassionate at the LA. Otherwise, have your GP sign you off with bereavement related stress/depression until you feel able to go back.
    I'm very sorry for your loss.
    Yours too, lapinrose, I wasn't aware.
  18. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    My condolences for the loss of your partner, and my sympathy for your uncertainty re compassionate leave.

    Leave of absence arrangements are agreed locally within each LEA, so no national guidelines exist. If time allows I would suggest a phone call either to your LEA's Personnel/HR department, or to the school's Union rep for more information.
  19. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    I'm very sorry for your loss, supply slave. May I say that I don't think you're thinking straight right now? You aren't stressed or, as another poster suggested, ill - you are in the acute stage of grief. Don't even think of going back until you've at least recovered from the funeral. And when you do go back, be easy on yourself.
  20. ...and it all that means you need a longer period off, go to the doctor and get signed off if your HT suggests that any of the time is unpaid. One of my colleagues had three weeks off last year when her father died: no question about being granted the time, the head was wonderful about it. Hopefully, yours will be too.

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