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My mother ... dont read if you're having your tea!

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Mrs Mo, Jul 4, 2011.

  1. Sorry but had to get this off my chest. Just went into the downstairs loo - mum had been in there before me - to find sh*t all over the toilet seat, up the walls, on the sink, taps, soap etc. I almost had a fit. It took me half an hour to clean it all up. Had to use dettol disinfectant wipes and bleach but coz I have no loo brush i had to clean it all up "manually". Also, couldnt find my wretched rubber gloves so had to do it without. Tried flushing the wipes down the loo but they wouldnt flush so had to fish them out with bare hands.
    I've scrubbed and scrubbed my hands but dont feel I will ever be clean again after this.
    For the life of me, I dont know how my mum cannot see this mess that she's left. I also cannot believe that she "doesn't have dementia" as I've been told time and time again by the memory clinic. She seems to inhabit a different planet to the rest of us most of the time. Talking of memory clinics, she has another appointment next week. This time, it will be at a different place as she has moved in with us and no longer lives in Essex. It will be very interesting to here their verdict.
    I hope I can talk to them about this toilet business but when I've been previously, I havent had a chance to speak to them alone i.e mum is always there.
    Apologies if this has made you feel ill - you can imagine how it made me feel!!! I just thank God my husband or daughter weren't the ones who discovered this mess. Rant over.
  2. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Sorry to hear about your troubles Mrs Mo. [​IMG] We have had our own depressing/distressing thing happen tonight with Mr K's mum, it's on going (3 years now) but this evening there is a slight chance she will be sectioned (if Mr K can convince her to stay in the hospital) and this is what we all need; a proper diagnosis, correct medication and reliable, consistent care procedures put into place.

  3. Firstly, huge amounts of sympathy right there up front for you.
    Secondly, it might help if next time it happens you take photos of the condition your toilet was left in. It would be difficult for the medics to 'not understand' or not realise what you are refering too. I'm sure they mean well but sometimes they need to see the reality as you've seen it.
    If you feel it's appropriate you could also record (maybe on your mobile) any bizarre conversations that are had. I'm not meaning to take it lightly but I know that my mother spent half her time thinking I was her mother but folks seem to think she was 'doing very well'.
    Good luck, chin up, drink wine.
  4. My heart goes out to you! My mother has Alzheimer's!
  5. Total sympathy to you! Just try and remember that sh1t is just bile salts, digestive juices, water and fibre!
  6. jonkers

    jonkers New commenter

    This has happened to us. My father, retired consultant physician, well read, very intellectual, pulls the wool over his GP's eyes every time he sees them. He is easily able to pass their tests but is increasingly confused at home; he has had his landline 'phone disconnected (accidentally) thinks he needs his passport whenever he leaves the house, misplaces everything, is distressingly cruel to my mother and is generally unravelling.
    I like the suggestion of photos and written evidence but I know that I would feel terribly disloyal. These circumstances are heartbreaking
  7. jonkers

    jonkers New commenter

    And, in the short term, go out and buy a loo brush and some Marigolds![​IMG]

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