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My daughter's having a baby, but why do I feel so sad at the news?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by daisyhorse, May 10, 2011.

  1. My lovely daughter is having a baby, due later this year. The whole family and friends are estatic, her dad is over the moon at the thought of being a grandad. I keep telling myself that I'm happy and appear so to everyone (except my husband who knows me too well). I know I should be happy but deep, deep down I don't know what I'm feeling, sort of numb I suppose. I have fantastic relationship with my daughter, she will be 25 when the baby is born, she's in a good relationship and her partner's lovely so why am I feeling like this?
  2. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    There could be numerous reasons . . . . did you envisage her life panning out in a different way?
  3. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Sorry, another question: do you secretly fancy having another child yourself, but can't?
  4. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Maybe you are worried that when your 'child' becomes a mother, the dynamics of your relationship will change and she will no longer be as close to you because of the baby??
    I'm not saying this will happen (in fact, it's more likely to be the very opposite!) but I'm just trying to understand your feelings.
  5. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    I should add that the excitement will come, once the shock has worn off [​IMG]
  6. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Maybe it makes you feel old?
  7. Your little girl has finally grown up - the Mum/daughter relationship is changing - she'll have the same footing as you?
    ('How on earth can a child I produced give birth herself???' I think that....it's the scary next move for my girl too I expect, although she shows no signs of broodiness/maternal instinct yet.)
    If it's any consolation I only really began to appreciate my own Mum when I became a mother myself. Our relationship got even better....
  8. I think most of this has been covered, but do you think you are partly feeling scared (and a little bit sorry) for your daughter? You know that pregnancy can be hard, that there are risks involved, and that being a parent (at a relatively young age) isn't easy. I think it would make any mother nervous.

    But it sounds like you and your daughter are very close, and as someone else commented, my relationship with my mum has been transformed by my pregnancy/son. I can honestly now say that she is one of my best friends and greatest role models, whereas before we had a rather tense, distant relationship.

    Wishing your daughter a happy, healthy pregnancy, and lots of wonderful cuddles for Grandma in the future :)
  9. Amyclare, that is such a lovely post. I think your first paragraph sums up how I'm feeling. Thank you all for your kind words. Off to Mothercare[​IMG]
  10. When my daughter fell pregnant I was about as sad and disappointed as it was possible to be as she was only 15 at the time and 16 by the time the baby arrived. All I can tell you is that being a granny is the best thing in the world and that the joy that wee boy has brought to us all more than compensates for the less positive feelings prior to his birth.
    It'll be all right in the end.
  11. Thanks seren, I know my daughter is older than yours was, but it's good to know that I'm not the only only who has felt this way. Thanks again everyone.

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