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My Dad just passed away........

Discussion in 'Personal' started by BelleDuJour, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    My dad passed away last night. He had Alzheimer´s and had been in a nursing home since 2005, with ever declining health.
    His death was not exactly unexpected but I have such strange feelings. We were not particularly close, although we did love each other. I´ve cried buckets, been for a walk on my own and feel......just so strange to have lost a parent. It´s worse (or better?) because I´m in Majorca at the moment on holiday and not home until Sunday. Mum has told me not to come home and of course, she´s right. She has her two sisters and brother colse by (much closer than me) and they are all helping her deal with the necessary stuff.
    Spoken to Mum loads......she´s coping well as it´s a release not only for Dad but for her too.
    I just feel so......empty [​IMG]
  2. jellycowfish

    jellycowfish New commenter

    Thoughts and prayers are with you Belle x
  3. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    So sorry, Belle. Thinking of you.
  4. Thinking of you Belle, and your mum, siblings and everyone else who knew and respected your dad. Try to remember the good things tonight - it's a lovely idea of Mr Belle's.
  5. fulloffun

    fulloffun New commenter

    So sorry to hear your news Belle.x
  6. Such very sad news, best wishes to you and your family xx
  7. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Thanks again for all the posts and PMs. There are so many lovely people on these boards.....lovely people, thank you!
    Funeral is Monday 8th. Dad died in a nursing home 80 miles from where Mum now lives, so we´re getting him brought up to Mum´s town as many relatives are there too. Makes sense and means Dad can make his last journey from Mum´s house.....seems so much nicer. Mum has to go to the town where he died to do all the paperwork tomorrow and my gorgeous, lovely son id¡s going with her to keep her company and keep her spirits up. My auntie has been with her all day helping her and they´ve gone for a long dog walk.....very therapeutic.
    I´ll visit Mum Monday when I get home and my brother will be there too.
    I feel all at sea.....numb. It´s like I haven´t slept for a week but I can´t close my eyes.
  8. laffal0t

    laffal0t New commenter

    Condolances to you and the family Belle.
  9. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    You are in my thoughts at this difficult time.
  10. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    So sorry to hear your sad news, Belle. I am sure you know this already, but you are being bombarded with a combination of very strong emotions at the moment. The pain is terrible, I know, but just be kind to yourself and your mum and go with the flow. Don't feel you have to do anything at any pace other than the one you are comfortable with. It does get better.
    I found it helped me to write my dad a letter in which I poured out all the things I felt and had wanted to say to him, but some how never had. I put it into the casket with him. My dad also had a humanist funeral and my mum and I sat down and wrote the entire service together. Again, that helped us as it gave us a little control among things that otherwise felt chaotic and out of control.
    Thinking of you.
  11. Sorry to hear this Belle.
    Love and hugs to you and yours.
  12. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

  13. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    My condolences Belle. X
  14. So sorry to hear about your dad, take care, Belle.
  15. I am sorry, Belle.
    There are no rules or recipes for the grieving process.
    Take care of yourself.
  16. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    just back from dinner. I ordered potato soup and duck....two of Dad´s favourites but I couldn´t eat much.
    Going to try to get some sleep now....early night for me (although we are an hour ahead of UK).
    Thanks again for all the lovely messages.
  17. Night, night, sleep tight, Belle. xx
  18. I am truly sorry to hear this Belle. I have seen you post about your father a few times, and always thought you were very honest about how you felt.
    Both of my husband's parents were lost to him really, his dad with a stroke and his mum with vascular dementia, a long time before they died.
    Their death was a relief to him, but I think he was shocked at how he felt. Despite the fact that he felt they were gone, long before they died, he said it was the fact they were no longer physically present in the world, that came as a bit of a shock.
    For may years they hadn't been the people he had known, but they were always there before.
    Try and put your mind at ease until Sunday. Your mum is going to busy sorting out details at the moment, and things will get busier just before the funeral. You will be home by then, and able to give her the support she needs, then.
    Take care xx
  19. I am so sorry to hear that, Belle. My thoughts are with you and your family.
  20. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Yes, that´s it DL.
    Feeling different today, a bit better yes....but different.

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