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My 91 year old Dad is still driving and I think he is wrong.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by voodoo child, Apr 7, 2012.

  1. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    Thank you everyone for all your advice and horror stories. It is very hard to know what to do for the best since so much of my Dad's self esteem is tied up with being a driver. I've discussed it with my stepmother (who is much younger than Dad) who is very anxious about him too. She has decided to say that she will not drive in the car with him driving since she feels too worried. He has been using her as his lookout when he has driven so I'm not sure he will drive if she won't be a passenger. I do think that there should be an online reaction time test that those over 70 have to take every three years when the licence renewal comes up. It is not fair to ask the GP to poison their relationship with the elderly patient and it is really hard for families who are concerned. A neutral test would result in the licence being cancelled and the insurance company informed so there would be no argument about it. I don't think it is reasonable to ask them to do a whole driving test but there must be some way of dealing with this problem that seems to cause concern to many families.
  2. mickymilan

    mickymilan New commenter

    having witnessed 2 OAP's reverse into parked cars in as many weeks I would have to agree
  3. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    The doctor stopped my father driving. He's still very angry about it and the car is taxed and insured but he hasn't tried to drive since. It hurt him very much but he could have killed someone every time he went out.
  4. It's a tough one isn't it. My mum learned to drive when she was in her late 40s. It was a massive achivement for her and hugely liberating. She never goes very far, but enjoys taking herself off to the supermarket or to visit her older sister who is in a nursing home about 12 miles away. It's going to be a tough conversation to have, but we're going to have to do it soon.
    My Dad is a better driver, but still not great. I worry myself sick when they drive up to see us at Christmas (Cornwall to Yorkshire), I've suggested getting the train, but my Dad seems to think it's out of the question. The irony is, I stopped doing that journey by car about 4 years ago, preferring the train, and they're both happier with me doing that.
  5. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    So true.
  6. MiL is 83. Most of the family live near her and are happy to take her for drives. We have longer periods of her company and get to know her foibles more intimately.
    A few years ago, in Scotland, she drove the wrong way round a large roundabout near Fort William. We excused that as "poor signage". Then she slammed the brakes on when I shouted "the traffic light is red". "Yes, I saw it". Then she nearly ran a pedestrian over in a supermarket carpark. We realised she had cataracts and, once repaired, she was much better. I would recommend every member of the family to have a ride with elderly folk for about 20minutes approx once per year, just to see what they're like.
    Last week her "foot slipped" whilst parking on her drive - she rocketed acroos the road, pavement and a neighbours lawn. There is some damage to the car and the MOT is due next week, so we're hoping it will fail: that will make it easier "persuading" her to make full use of her Bus Pass. [​IMG] She wasn't a good driver in her prime.
    Dad is 85 and has diabetes and dementia. His licence is due for renewal but he has an interview with his consultants next week. He is very frightened about losing it as his "girl friend" lives 15miles away. I had a trip with him recently and he was not too bad. However, he has said if he loses his licence he will just drive without it. In that case SOMEONE will have to physically remove the keys and sell the car: not a happy thought.
  7. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    How terrifying since he won't be covered by insurance if he does try to drive. I did look at the link that has been posted to the government website about driving and the section on older drivers implied that if you are aware you should not be driving then it invalidates your insurance anyway.

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