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My 91 year old Dad is still driving and I think he is wrong.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by voodoo child, Apr 7, 2012.

  1. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    I've tried to speak to my Dad about giving up driving and he assures me that when he thinks he can't cope he will give up. The trouble is I think he is a menace on the roads with his poor hearing and reactions. He assures me that he only drives locally and so is safe but I think he is an accident waiting to happen. Any advice from anyone who has faced this will be very welcome.
  2. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    I've tried to speak to my Dad about giving up driving and he assures me that when he thinks he can't cope he will give up. The trouble is I think he is a menace on the roads with his poor hearing and reactions. He assures me that he only drives locally and so is safe but I think he is an accident waiting to happen. Any advice from anyone who has faced this will be very welcome.
  3. Oh God I have exactly the same problem. Nightmare.
  4. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    Could you advise him to spend some time with a driving instructor?
  5. Good luck.
    We tried with my grandad, he liked going round roundabouts the wrong way! But it was a huge struggle!
    Yiu have to be brave, prepared to fall out and be ostracised. But you should start with his GP... go and have a chat explaining your reservations. He may be able to help, either informally persuading yorur dad to stop or more formally.
    Your dad should renew his license every 3 years http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/DriverLicensing/NeedANewOrUpdatedLicence/DG_4022086
    and http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/DriverSafety/DG_195006

    Again, good luck. The DVLA won't be much help to you, see top of the page on second link! Your dad needs to make the decision himself, unless he has a medical condition that counts!

  6. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    my mother in law was still driving at 90-then she put her foot on the accelerator instead of the brake and went into a brick wall. The police tactfully suggested that she should hand in her licence! Fortunately she didnt hit anyone else, but she did sustain some nasty injuries herself. Your dad needs to give up before anything happens, but I cam understand how hard it is to persuade him. I agree with the last poster-some driving sessions with an insructor would be a good idead.Good luck.
  7. My mum is only 73 but is a terrible driver and has got progressively worse as she has got older. I was interested to read that after the age of 70 your driving licence should be renewed.
    Does anyone know if this involves taking another test?
    Presumably, if she hasn't renewed her licence when she should have, her insurance will be invalid.
  8. No re-test apparently - weird!
    Have a read of the links I posted, one is the info on when you ret-tes and the other is a list of reasons why you should!
    Your mum should be renewing hers for the second time around now, one at 70 and again after 3 years. But I have no idea how good they are at getting the paperwork out and haven't been able to find anything about the renewal affecting insurance.
    Try Age UK or similar, they would know, surely!
  9. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    You don't have to take another test and a I am sure in these days of computerisation an insurance company would want to see proof that she has renewed her licence - the DVLA send you a reminder but it is up to you to decide if you think you are still OK.

    If she hasn't renewed her licence wouldn't she show up on one of the police databases as she was out and about?
  10. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    I reas an article by a journalist recently who described how she'd shopped her very elderly dad to the DVLA as a menace on the roads and they'd insisted he see his GP. The GP then merely asked him if he thought he was fit to drive, the old guy said 'yes' and the GP signed the form to say he was 'fit'.
  11. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    My late FiL was a menace in his latter motoring years. We (wife, BiL and I) engineered a journey each with him to see what he was like. On mine he turned right at a busy traffic light junction, he sat there a bit and get fed up with waiting (or couldn't see/judge oncoming traffic) so decided to go for it anyway, his tactic was signal and manoeuvre very slowly so that it was clear what he was doing and everyone would stop and let him - which they did, but I was utterly terrified. The other journeys were equally as interesting in their own ways.
    BiL broached the subject and persuaded him financially by pointing out he didn't go out often or far, and working out how much taxis would cost v what he paid for his car that he only ever drove 2 miles to the nearest town and back as he was scared to go anywhere else in it. It helped that he was a stingy old sod and so he gave up his car and happily caught the bus instead to save money and talk to other people.
    Good luck, OP it won't be easy.
  12. Had the same thing with my grandfather a few years back. Both my dad and his sister tried numerous time to get him to stop driving but it took him having accident with a cyclist (luckily he only sustained minor injuries but he did have to get a new bike) to give up driving. He is quite lucky as my grandparents live opposite a bus stop and it is very easy to get the bus into the shops so the transition was quite easy.
    But I do shudder to think of what could have happened
  13. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    My dad is only in his mid 70s but I already worry about him driving my kids around. He has had a few near misses with me and more worryingly is unaware he has had a near miss. He is also slowing down alot and probably irritating drivers stuck behind him. My mum doesnt drive much because she is a nervous driver and constantly uses her brakes. What makes me shudder more with my dad is that he has just had his cateracts removed and loves the way he can see again. All I could think about was how much he couldnt see when driving![​IMG]
  14. Middlemarch, that is depressing.
    Not what GPs should be doing at all! Hopefully that's not par for the course, though I suspect, now, that it may be!
  15. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    It is (that GP's do not really stop anyone of old age driving) and I can understand it. They do not want to interfere with what is seen by many as a basic human right - and let's face it, we are ALL (you and I included) **** drivers, with some really, really awful drivers out there of all ages. I think a good tactic is to make sure your father can quickly seen by others to be elderly, for then most if not all will show some understanding, back off...or even take the next side turning to get away!! Not sure if his pride would extend to an 'elderly driver, please show patience' sticker but this really does help. As will driving a typical pensioner's car...Micra, Yaris etc. The very worst thing an elderly driver (or even younger) can do is buy a Porsche and then drive it like a funeral car driver. This time playing to stereotypes can assist safety.
  16. But they are supposed to advise about driving and medical conditions and medications. The GP I used to work with did it with every patient he had that needed to know. Oldies were his bete noire, to be fair. But he still gave advice to families and drivers about the risks etc.
    I was really more shocked by the 'are you fit', 'yes', 'OK' of the example. GPs have guidlelines for this conversation and their PC pops it up if they put the right query in!
  17. One of my grandmothers never drove but the other one was a terrifying driver! On one occasion, she reversed at high speed from our drive and almost knocked over a toddler playing in their front drive (we lived in a cul-de-sac). When she realised this, she naturally panicked and started driving forward...straight through our garage, squashing all of our bikes. We took pictures of the bikes but it was a million times better than what would have happened to the poor kid! Another time, she was on tablets that made her drowsy but still drove and fell asleep on the M25, colliding with another car-luckily the damage was minimal and both my grandmother and the other driver were OK but it could have been so much worse. She was very indignant that she should carry on driving and threatened to cut my dad and one of his older brothers out of her will if they didn't shut up about it! She only stopped driving after her penultimate time in Intensive Care when she was in a coma for 10 days. That was 6 years ago and she never drove after that-she passed away last October.
  18. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

  19. My husband witnessed the immediate, horrible aftermath of this accident, recently:
    Inexperience of motorway driving, perhaps?
    My story - elderly mother with dementia (it was undiagnosed at the time, but the incident made me realise I had to step in and do something) who caused utter chaos in a small Scottish border town on Christmas Eve 2007.
    I won't bore you with the details of the accident, but it's lucky that someone wasn't killed or seriously injured. We were contacted by the police who 'apprehended' her and took her into the station for questioning. The transcript of the interview (which I still have) makes for interesting reading...
    Fortunately, the police were brilliant and gave us lots of advice - the main bit being to persuade my mother to surrender her licence ASAP, otherwise it would go to court and she'd be forced to surrender it anyway.
    Duly had the dreaded conversation with mum and she agreed to surrender her licence to DVLA, only for her to be back tootling around in her car a few weeks later!
    I was forced to take the car keys off her and eventually sold the car. It was not a pleasant experience.
  20. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    A relative of Mr jubilee had been retired for less than a year and was becoming very forgetful. He'd turn on the gas, forget to light it and wander off or would start pouring tea from the pot and not stop when the cup was full.
    One day he got in the car with his wife, held up the keys and asked what he was supposed to do with them. She told him he was supposed to give them to her and they then went back indoors. The car was sold soon afterwards.

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