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Mother's Day

Discussion in 'Personal' started by delmamerchant, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. minnie me

    minnie me Star commenter

    My cats are the gifts which keep on giving . A total joy
  2. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


    I am not recognised as her daughter in law. I am her "friend". Also her daughter's "friend". I don't think she'd appreciate any sentiments from me that included the words, "What a wonderful m-i-l you are." ;)
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  3. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    I'll be bloody livid if my children overlook me!
  4. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    An email from a group of childless women I belong to, it's called Gateway women.

    "This is the text from an address I gave at St Martin’s in the Fields Church, Trafalgar Square, London on Mothering Sunday, 2016. I was so very moved to be asked to contribute OUR voice to this service, which was broadcast live on BBC Radio 4. This is very tender day for so many of us who mourn the children we’ll never know, and have maybe lost our own mothers too. Be gentle with yourself today. And maybe buy YOURSELF the flowers – you deserve them too! Love, Jody x

    Mother’s in our Hearts
    Besides Christmas, Mother’s Day (what is called ‘Mothering Sunday’ in the UK) can be the most difficult day in the calendar for women who aren’t mothers, or aren’t yet mothers and doubt that they ever will be. Whether you are a couple struggling with infertility, or one of the many women who have been unable to find a suitable partner before your childbearing years draw to a close, or if you haven’t had children for one of many other reasons, Mother’s Day can be very raw indeed.

    Perhaps it would help if we could extend the idea of ‘mothering’ to include all those women who are mothers in their hearts, but aren’t biological mothers. To think of ‘Mother’ as a verb, not a noun, as something you do rather than something that you are.

    Women without children are twenty percent of the female population aged 45 and over, but our stories aren’t often told, our experience isn’t honoured and our contribution to the lives of others is often under-appreciated. We listen patiently to mothers’ delighted talk of their children, and grieve privately that we will never know that joy: first days at school, graduation, perhaps marriage and even grandchildren; a lifetime of photos we will never add to our albums. And yet so often our stoicism in the face of grief is misinterpreted as not really ‘minding’ or perhaps even interpreted as ‘not liking children’.

    We non-mothers hide in plain sight, often hungry for empathy, fielding questions of the most intimate and personal nature which seem to come from all angles. But if you dig a little deeper you’ll find that we are those good women around you who make up that ‘village’ it takes to raise a child, to create a community, to sustain a safe and civil society for other people’s children to inhabit. And we do so gladly, willingly.

    So, perhaps next time you meet a couple without children, hold back your natural curiosity about when they’re going to start a family. Or when meeting a single, middle-aged woman who, for whatever reason, doesn’t have children herself, try to see past the social caricatures and instead see the individual woman in front of you, one doing her best to live a life she, perhaps, didn’t expect, and doing so with dignity. If she has a cat, so what? Plenty of mothers do too…!

    This Mothering Sunday, let compassion open your heart just a little wider to include all of those who long or longed for motherhood. Although we grieve in private, we are all around you."

  5. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    You are 100% right in what you say. The things which you do 24 hours of the day and 365 days of the year are the things that show someone whether they really care or not. They make these days as "retail opportunities" only. I've just had lovely friends call to see me after my operation with simple flowers, kind words, a bottle of elderberry cordial etc. They are the people who are here for me every day of the year and that's what counts in life.
    Lara mfl 05 and slingshotsally like this.
  6. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I am so sorry.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  7. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I imagine that come father's day, there will be many women who are going to experience what you have in regards to mother's day.
    I too have lost my mother. We turned a corner a few years ago and celebrate her life on that day and do something that we would have done with her.

    Take care of yourself and your daughter as you have done a grand job I am sure.
    sabrinakat and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  8. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    It is nice that you have taken the time to take part in the madness. I think that sometimes we are all so busy that we do forget to appreciate those that we love.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  9. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I agree. Then I imagine that these people do not go out of their way to say happy mother's day.

    I recall very early on realising that our parents are human beings, not magical, mythical perfect creatures.
  10. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I am with you 100 percent. Take care of yourself. My mother passed on over 10 years ago and we still feel as if it was yesterday. We try to remember and celebratre her life on mother's day. Take care of yourself.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  11. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    Hope that you had a lovely day.
  12. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    Fare enough. but not as over priced and commercial as valentines day!!!
  13. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    Sorry to hear that. Take care
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  14. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I love the trivia:)
  15. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I must say that I did try to include those whom are not bilogical mothers, hence my comments re students.
  16. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I agree. because one way or another, we all have something to celebrate at one time or another.

    I like your comment
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  17. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    My sentiments exactly
  18. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I think your post may have please everybody. Judging by the responses you can't please everybody all of the time.
  19. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    We know what we should do but life is such that we do not. Having this day makes us stop and think. Clearly people do re the full price flowers:)
  20. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Life is hard, lapinrose, but it doesn't stop for all of us who carry sorrowful stories.
    InkyP and sabrinakat like this.

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