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Mother's Day

Discussion in 'Personal' started by delmamerchant, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

    tbh, it really doesn't affect me at all. i thought i was going to have kids, then the realisation dawned that i wasn't, and it bothered me a very great deal.
    but it's never crossed my mind that mothers' day would be problematic. i'm not a mother, other people are. it's fine.
     
  2. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Don't worry yourself about it, sally. Life throws worse things at people than mother's day.
     
    InkyP and slingshotsally like this.
  3. Lalad

    Lalad Star commenter

    I don't think people are saying we should write the day off - everyone has/had a mother and mothers perform an important role in society - but for those of us who do fall into the categories you describe or have lost their mums, it's the relentless hype surrounding the day that really starts to get you down.

    I don't want or need constant daily reminders on tv, on the radio, in the papers, in supermarkets, in restaurants, plastered on billboards etc to remember to buy my mum a card / present / take her out / treat her etc - I can't because she isn't here.

    I haven't opened my inbox this morning because I KNOW there will be a string of emails telling me 'it's not too late' or its my 'last chance' to send her a card or a gift.

    There's nothing wrong with Mother's Day itself - it's the insensitive and all-pervasive marketing hype that has spiralled out of control and is causing problems.
     
    Laphroig, guinnesspuss and Dodros like this.
  4. minnie me

    minnie me Star commenter

    My son rocked up yesterday with lovely, lovely flowers and I know that he bought them from an up market florist in a village near to him where he had purchased before. Yes they are gorgeous and yes it shows he was thinking BUT would be happier to be given flowers when I least expect it . No really not ungrateful .. you get my point ?
     
    grumpydogwoman and Laphroig like this.
  5. Calpurnia99

    Calpurnia99 Star commenter

    Mothers' Day and every other opportunity to flog cards and tat.
    I still haven't got over "To my Mum on Valentine's Day", which Son2 Whatsapped me last Feb with a w tf? smiley.
     
    sabrinakat and grumpydogwoman like this.
  6. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    Oh I hope you had a very happy birthday indeed. I'm considerably older unfortunately - - - but young in heart for certain. Things were much simpler when I was a child during and after the war years. We didn't waste too much money on cards and, don't forget, that even one book at Christmas was a much treasured present. The little bunch of wild flowers meant just as much as any Hallmark card or dinner out at a hotel, and we did value our mothers who had to manage on very little.
     
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  7. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    My daughter made me a lovely cushion with appliqued faces of our two adored dogs. How lovely! Both my babies, and Baby Belle's fiance, are in the kitchen cooking lunch for me. For me this is special............it is my day.
     
    HelenREMfan likes this.
  8. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    I really don't get Valentine's Day as a child-to-parent thing. I mean, isn't it all about furtive fancying?

    It was when I was young. Very insensitive towards teenagers whom nobody fancied, if you ask me.
     
    InkyP, ilovesooty and grumpydogwoman like this.
  9. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    For those who want the recognition i wish you ladies a Happy Mothers day.For those who dont care or dislike it I am sorry but still hope you have a lovely day.For those who are maybe sad they are not mothers i hope and pray your minds are calm and emotions strong to cope with it.and rejoice in the those who have become mothers.
     
    Ezzie, marymoocow and HelenREMfan like this.
  10. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    I suppose, for whatever occasion, there will be people for whom it is painful, upsetting, or even irrelevant. That doesn't mean to say those occasions shouldn't be celebrated, but the hype surrounding them can make them more painful than they might otherwise be.
     
  11. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

    nail on head, there.
     
    sabrinakat likes this.
  12. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    I know that I'm incredibly lucky with the cat* and five-year old, both of whom are sprawled on the bed while MrSK makes breakfast. His school organised cards and flowers for mums, even an assembly on Friday morning. Hopefully, we'll find a decent pub lunch somewhere :).

    I do, however, greatly appreciate the conflicting emotions - we got lucky at age 43/44 with the now five-year-old and I'm not particularly close to my own mother, so this day is a mix of good and bad.

    Hugs to all!

    *I've had the cat since she was born (her mommy was Sabrina the cat, who passed away in 2015 at age 15 :(), so is my furbaby...
     
  13. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    The hype is here to stay and it is possible to ignore it or despise it or whatever. The pain of untimely loss exists quite apart from the hype. That is why I called the feeling I have (double-whammy land here) as poignant.
     
  14. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    More traditionally it was a day off to visit their "mother church", the one where they were baptised with their family.

    Mother's Day became more complicated by the loss of so many sons in WW1 and efforts to acknowledge how this will have affected their mothers.

    For me, it has been a day to remember that my existence was dependent on having a mother. Everyone can celebrate the day for this reason, even the childless.
     
    JosieWhitehead and sabrinakat like this.
  15. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    I know I know FB is a complete pain at times but..... I have my nephew (by previous marriage) and his wife on my "friends list". She really takes the biscuit. He school refused from the age of 14 because he was monumentally mard and his mother - my now ex sis in law had a kind of Munchausen's in that she was determined he was going to be classified as "ill". He played puter games all night ( he is 43 now so am going back quite some time before this sort of thing was at the epidemic level it is now) and slept all day type of thing. He did go to Manchester Met uni for a while - without a GCSE or A level to his name, but never completed any course. He was diagnosed by some dr or other as having clinical depression in his early 20s but would be cured after 8 years (that was the precise diagnosis I was told!) In his 30s he worked for maybe 18 months for DWP before going onto the sick with a "bad back". The DWP eventually managed to unemploy him after quite some time. He hasn't worked since, neither has the female he married whilst producing 2 of the most badly behaved children going (bad back can't have been that bad then!) They have always lived with my now very poorly ex sis in law and her long suffering husband. My ex s-i-l is almost a prisoner in her bedroom as her mobility is so bad she cannot get around the house for the clutter and junk her daughter in law has everywhere. (she is terrified of falling and aggravating her terrible joint etc issues.)
    Now this cuckoo of a d-i-l eulogises on FB near daily about her "wonderful " family (so wonderful that they have never housed her and her spawn) and today took the biscuit with her posting re the fantastic "unique" grandmother her children have etc etc. Never ever have I seen a word of gratitude or recognition for the poor in laws who house her and those house-wrecking children. My nephew is permanently quiet and never posts .... My ex s-i-l's house was her pride and joy - they had it built in the good days before Thatcher destroyed manufacturing industry and the family business declined and died. On the photos I see posted all I see is the state it has descended to.
    Is it my business? Well..... although she had her faults my ex's eldest sister was very good to him. Her husband employed my ex after he had told Tesco a few times where to stick their manager's job as he was off to the Isle of Wight to see Dylan..... and he also wrecked a couple of the work vans leading to the insurance company specifying that my ex was not to drive any of the company's vehicles! His sister gave us a lot of hand me down household items when we married and nursery stuff when I had our first child 2 years after she had her only child - one she was told she would never be able to have - the reason why really she so indulged him. I do have reason to be grateful to her. Alas my ex's 3 sisters hardly get on now.... the middle one has removed to the Isle of Man to be close to her daughter so isn't around at all and the youngest sister feels as helpless as I do as to what could be done to help. The cuckoo d-i-l has sort of threatened to leave my nephew and to take the children if anyone looks like thwarting her. We feel this bluff should be called as we are quite sure her own family wouldn't put up with all this crop and she certainly wouldn't have the nice, detached house to rule that she does now. She has posted moans about feeling cold and that "someone" has turned the CH down - that "someone" would probably be my b-i-l- who of course pays all bills!
    The post she put this Mother's day has really got to me (obviously) as I feel it is so unfair on my ex family. I worry about both ex s-i-l and b-i-l and feel so sorry for how their retirement, later life has become with the Midwich cuckoos they have there.

    Rant finished..... MrREMfan forgot the day - though has had enough to stress and worry about tis week with his spiteful s o b manager who is lying about granting his holiday leave for this June when he applied last Nov and we have an expensive cruise booked.... tis a wonder my remaining gaskets haven't blown this week with that. (We have now sneakily located last year's office work diary and have photographed the entry for last 4 Nov so we have proof he applied for leave .... we still have a fight on our hands re it tho and the fall out that her spite will produce no doubt) Elder child has just got up 1pm and has produced a very nice card and younger...well she bought a card when here last week and left it in a bag of her shopping which she left on the kitchen table :) along with the packs of treats she was taking on her holiday to Florida next week. She is treating her friend's children to a Disney holiday (Oh the shame of having a child who thinks Disney is a holiday destination!! ) I expect she will ring later. My lovely mum has been featured as my FB pic this past week - a fave photo of mine of her in her youth - a lovely looking woman. My ex m-i-l passed away last year at 94..... she hardly had a grey hair !! Roll on Easter...
     
  16. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Mine got me a card and a big box of Lindor chocolates. This was a vast improvement on Friday night's offering, which was two mice.
     
    InkyP, foxtail3, minnie me and 2 others like this.
  17. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    Cat forgot me, too. :(
     
  18. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    While buying cards for my Mum and step MIL in Clintons last week I spotted "To Mum from the dog" and "To Mum from the cat" cards. I did let my husband know but I am pleased to report that he took no notice. I didn't want to get stuck in a ridiculous cycle where I had to get him a Father's Day card from the dogs.

    My sympathies to anyone for whom this is a painful day. Our walk today took us through a graveyard and lots of people were visiting with flowers to remember mothers they have lost.
     
    sabrinakat, InkyP and HelenREMfan like this.
  19. Jude Fawley

    Jude Fawley Star commenter

    When is Cat Day?
     
  20. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    If you have one living in your house, everyday is cat's day!
     

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