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Discussion in 'Primary' started by FoxMad, Jul 8, 2008.
Madphil, you have made me cry with laughter. Haven't done that in a long time. Thanks
Excellent anecdotes everyone!
Well, for those of you thinking that my embarrassing moments are in abundant supply, I wish to point out that this anecdote is not actually from my personal supply of misfortunes. Instead, it comes courtesy of one of my best friends, who for the purposes of anonymity, will be known as Mr. X.
Mr. X. had endured a rough morning. Two individuals in particular had given him grief. Drastic action was required, so he promptly sent one to face the wall in one corner of the classroom, and the second to face another corner- all this while the rest of the class went out to play.
With strict instructions not to move a muscle, Mr. X. hot-footed it to the staffroom to secure a much-needed cup of tea. One or two distractions ensued, but Mr. X. returned to his room revitalised after his cuppa and biscuit or two.
Mr. X. went over to his desk in a world all of his own. Here, with at the time, some considerable pride, he unleashed the mother of all farts. This was no ordinary blast of wind- this was a three-part beauty. Completely forgetting about the silent two children facing the wall, he only became aware of their presence when he heard little giggles from the different corners of the room.
"Uh oh!" thought Mr. X. Thinking quickly on his feet, he decided to severely reprimand the two individuals concerned saying that if they did not shush at once he would contact their parents and tell them what naughty children they had been. Shamed into silence once more, the two pupils accepted their punishment with grace.
And there-in lies an important lesson for us all. Always- and I do mean always- look carefully around the room before relaxing in full.
I was in my second week of teaching and we were having an LEA inspection. The classrooms where I worked had cloakrooms in the corner, so the children had to come across the room to hang their coats up. When it was raining we had to put paper on the floor for dirty footprints. On the day of the inspection it began to rain just as the children were coning in, so I quickly rolled some paper out across the floor. A few minutes later, seeing the inspector heading my way, I quickly started to roll it up to throw away. To my horror, I had laid ready pasted wallpaper, and the paper was stuck fast to the floor. I was nortified. The staff ribbed me for ages, and even now, 29 years on, whenever I see staff from that school, I am reminded about 'the incident'.
JillyE and Emadam you have got me laughing so much it hurts!
hpblossom - is your school in N Notts by any chance? I think your HT might be an old acquaintance of mine.
Hope there are more of these to come - we all need cheering up at this stage I think.
Mine is really tame compared to some of these side splitters but my old HT still refers to it.
I'd just got engaged & my fiance had a definite regional accent (coincidentally the same accent as the HT of a primary school where I was just about to start work).
The HT phoned me at home to ask me a question and you've probably guessed, quite correctly, that when I heard the accent I thought it was my fiance. As soon as I heard the voice I interrupted and said 'Hi honey bunny' which was followed by a cough and my HT saying 'No...it's Mr. XXXXX from XXXXX Primary School.'
I was totally mortified and couldn't look him in the face but, thankfully he has a sense of humour and every now & then he'd just drop it into the conversation.
I went to my lad's sports' day and was persuaded to run in the parents' race. It involved picking up bean bags and returning back to the start. I was winning and my friend was on the finish line screaming me on as I was beating her ex-husband. Two boys were also on work experiemce from the sceondary school where I teach. Then disaster struck. I tripped over a bump in the grass, went sailing through the air and landed flat on my chest. I scrambled to my feet and ended up third. Not bad and first woman home. Needless to say my friend couldn't get her breath she was laughing so much.
I was teaching dance to year 3. There I was at the front throwing some shapes and you know how the kids (especially year 3) always want to be right next to you. Well a girl got a bit too close and as I threw my arms out wide I swiped the girl round the face and knocked her tooth out. Luckily it was a wobbly one. She always stood at the back after that!
No, I'm in Midlands missbloggs.
I've just thought of another. When I was training I was observing a music lesson with an aged spinster teacher. The class of year 4s had a few naughty boys who were getting a big lairy. One of them kept rattling the tambourine when she was talking. She told him off a few times, then he did it again. 'Right that's it' she screamed at him, 'you can see me at break tomorrow for persistenly fiddling with your instrument'. I was crying laughing.
As part of our topic on "people who help us" our year ones enjoyed making police hats out of blue crepe paper. The children were so pleased with their police hats that I said they could wear them during playtime. Unfortunately, the heavens opened during play and I had to collect 30 soaking Smurfs from the playground! The blue crepe paper had run in the downpour and turned each and every little face bright blue! Imagine handing over 30 blue children to their parents at the end of the day!
I once knocked a large, full (lidless) tin of red powder paint off a shelf and onto a girl's head. We were both speechless. I didn't know whether to try washing it off or whether that would make it worse. My wonderful TA dusted her off as best she could. Luckily the child's mother saw the funny side of it when I handed over her scarlet offspring at the end of the day.
Hi giant carrot,
You've just reminded me of another of mine. We have pre-mixed paint in those huge plastic bottles with a pump on the top that you push. I was carefully squirting a bit of white paint into each palette, when the paint stopped coming out ... so I pushed a bit harder. Yup. The blockage unblocked itself and the paint splurged out. I splattered three children head to foot AND an entire bookcase full of books.
That's just reminded me of one of mine (although I'm sure I have better ones, just can't think of any at the mo!)
When demonstrating marbling with a group of my year 2s, I couldn't get the lid off the blue ink, so I struggled with it until it burst open and the ink went everywhere including in my face, all over the floor and table, and some of the children! And it didn't come off very easily.....
Am crying with laughter....this has cheered me up no end!!!!!!!!!!
My most embarrassing moment of this year:
I was composing a piece of writing on the interactive whiteboard in front of the whole class. I always type rather than hand write as my handwriting is awful. It was about leaf buds on a twig. I had written the word "twig's" but decided to change it to "its" so I backspaced and wrote its. A couple of children looked at me in alarm. I had failed to delete the "t" from twig's before I wrote "its". I have never (yet) been so embarrassed. It was made words by the fact that my trainee teacher witnessed the event.
My friend was writing a letter of application and as I scanned through I noticed she had written about am ADHD boy she had worked with.
Apparently he had Attention DEFECATE Hyperactivty Disorder.
I should have been cruel and left it but had to tell her as I was in fits laughing!
On teaching practice, I was with a yr3 class on a school trip through a wood with my friend from uni also on teaching practice. Walking at the back of the line behind the kids, he decided to trip me up, making me shout '**** off!' very loudly! To which they all turned, including the teachers, and said 'um errr, miss swore!'
I've never forgiven him.
Super posts, everyone. I'm really enjoying these, so do keep them coming. Don't keep them in the closet- get them out in the open. You'll feel better for it!
Is it called a 'spoonerism' when you get the first sounds of 2 words mixed up?
Years ago, teaching year 1 we used to have a going home prayer which began,
'Hands together softly so, little eyes shut tight...'
I once got the last two words muddled '...tut sh*te'. Thankfully the children were too young to notice.
I've also done the ' boys, stop playing with your balls' at the end of a PE lesson - only an Ofsted Inspector was observing at the time!
One autumn we had a problem with pupils pelting each other with acorns, so I got my class to collect a big box of them 'to use for maths'. A few months later one of my pupils had a visit from the ed psyc, who was observing him. It was probably nerves that made me move the box of acorns too quickly so they spilled out all over the floor. That was bad enough, but a couple of seconds later the pupils (and I) noticed that festering away in the bottom of the box were hundreds of white maggotty creatures. These were now all over the floor too. It was like a horror film. I am surprised the ed psyc did not feel the need to offer trauma counselling!
Teaching Y6 Literacy and told them oral was something you did with your mouth - could anyone give me any examples. Unfortunately I had a Y10 boy from the local high school with me on work experience who almost fell off his chair and then had to suffer some of the children asking him what the matter was!