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More Confessions

Discussion in 'Primary' started by mermaid, Jan 26, 2010.

  1. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I cheered when the weatherman said it was going to be a week of rain. Yay no sports day. I did have a back up day planned but didnt tell the parents this year, so can now pretend I cant fit another day in.
    I secretly like that my new partner teacher is cr*pping herself about teaching a year she hasnt taught or been trained to teach before. She is usually so busy annoying people by singing her own trumpet that I cant wait for her to fall flat on her face and neither can anyone else in school.
    The above teacher is renowned for stealing others thunder and passing others ideas as her own. What she doesnt realise is that whilst i am nice to people that are nice to me and wouldnt normally do what she does, she has yet to meet her match with that game if she tries to do that to me.
    I really should change schools and jobs, but I really can't be ar8ed, I have quite an easy job at the moment and could do it standing on my head.
    I smile and grin and bear my heads latest dictats because I am experienced enough and seen enough heads come and go to know he wont be there long as he climbs the slimey ladder. I also enjoy proving their ideas wont work.
    I kept a group of children in longer than normal this week for being naughty, because I had a headache and wanted some quiet time that I wouldnt have got if I had gone outside with the rest of the class.
    I often offer to get the coffees so that I can get a break from the classroom.(no breaks in nursery)
    I slagged off a parent behind her back that was doing some art outside my room with another class, but then positively gushed when she offered to take some children off my hands to do some art.
    Me and my TA have finished off the sweets left over from the kids christmas party.
    I'm actually too knackered to think up any decent confessions this time! I love my holidays! 5 days and counting.
     
  2. I hate marking with a passion and make sure my class peer assess more and more as the year goes on!
    I lose the plot every year about May (I teach in Y6) and it takes me until September to get my mojo back!!!
    My APP folder is in disarray
     
  3. I see that as a challenge, I am going to do that much more often now!!
     
  4. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Mine is empty of any work since February and all work since October is just dumped in the front, not actually filed at all.

    Me too...the only thing that worries me about moving to year 2 next year is I might not be able to continue...
    That isn't a real confession. Peer marking is good for children and enhances progress, honest! Someone once said so on a course and I've relied on it ever since. Must be about 10 years since I marked a set of maths books.
     
  5. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    - At the end of Summer Term I only mark the books of children whose parents will come in for Parents' Evening
    - At this time of year my APP is entirely randomly filled in
    - My end of year assessments are sometimes based on little more than a hunch
    - My pigeon hole is deliberately kept completely full, so that no-one can get anything into it, which means that anything important is put into my register
    - I tick all homework, put a sticker on it and give it back without even reading it. They might be sending me death threats for all I know
    - I have a drawer in my classroom for confiscated toys and bits of loose change they ask me to look after. I never have the slightest idea as to what is whose and who gave me how much money; if they forget to ask me for any of it back then they toys go in the bin on the last day of the Summer Term and I take the money and put it in a charity tin
    - My stock answer, when I know no-one important is around, to the whingy kid who complains daily that hjs "finger/arm/leg/side is hurting" is..."Good! Now sit down and do some work"
    - Most children have now learnt that they don't get sympathy from me on the playground if they've had a silly falling out or if they've bumped themselves slightly (if it's not broken or bleeding, I'm not interested), and so they don't tend to bother me often at playtime
    - I secretly like the fact that I'm the scary teacher that naughty children from other classes get sent to
     
  6. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    love it!
    I confess that I chortled to myself mightily when I made one of my lovely y5 boys cry - by holding his hand as we made our way through the town. Shouldn't have been making silly noises, should he? Mwahhhahaaaahhhaaaa!
     
  7. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    Next year we have had to split year 5 between my class ( of year 6's) and a class of mainly year 4's. I have smirked rather that the children ( and parents) are desperate for me to chose their child to come into my class- even though I'm known to be as grumpy as anything!
    ( and I've felt like refusing to have the ones I consider to be a pain in the ****!)
     
  8. I fancy my head.
     
  9. Ooh, please tell me where you get your lovely planner? I got a pirong one this year after reading a thread on here about planners.

    I confess that I have sweeties in a box as rewards, but really they are for me to munch on while I mark,. I replace them with the same type the following week so no one knows I;ve eaten so many.
    I blame the cleaner for throwing away that lovely picture you drew me on a scrap of paper.
    I am creative with my filing of work to be marked. I hide lots of crappy work in a bag, take it home, and shred it there.
    I tune out often during guided reading and plan my dinner.
    I too am guilty of breaking wind and blaming it on children.


     
  10. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I confess that if my head reminds staff about taking down displays and making things tidy for the end of term just one more time then I AM REALLY GOING TO LET RIP.
    Now breathe...........4 days and counting.
    I've saved all the rotten jobs for a parent helper tomorrow who I cant stand and really winds me up.

     
  11. beershop

    beershop New commenter

    ---------------------------
    I can just say Ditto to all this!!
    Plus, I confess that I hate my TA and can't wait to get rid of her and get my fave TAs back!
    I confess that I took all my APP grids (from 2009-10) out of the folder today having not even opened it this year ("I do it online!") and I'm turning it into a KS1 coordinator folder.
    I confess that when I duck into the cupboard in my room, I'm nearly always eating a sweetie or munching on some chocolate!
    I confess that nearly all my planning is taken directly from the internet and is rarely differentiated for my class but I'm obsessed with finding exciting resources on the web to pad it out.
    I confess that I hate class assemblies with a passion and am chuffed to bits that I've managed to convince the rest of KS1 and FS to do just a whole unit 'termly' assembly that we'll take it in turns to lead!! Yay!
    I confess that from SATs onwards I've basically marked nothing properly (OFSTED came 3 weeks before SATs too!) and when I don't feel like teaching a lesson I shove on a vaguely-related-to-topic DVD and take some 'me time'!
    I break wind at least 5 times a day in class (dodgy bowels I'm sure!) and have been caught a few times and just laughed it off.
     
  12. I confess that the second the bell goes for the end of playtime I "suddenly" need the toilet!
     
  13. Waterfin

    Waterfin New commenter

  14. jarndyce

    jarndyce Occasional commenter

    I've spent hours reading every post on this thread!


    I make up kinaesthetic activities on the spur of the moment not because of any real desire to cater to different "learning styles", but because I'm bored and it might be a laugh to have Year 7 all jump up in the air to show they've recognised where the verbs are in this Latin passage.



    I plan obsessively over starter activities that will take ten minutes but sound fun, then come in the next morning knowing that I'll just 'wing it' for the next fifty minutes of that lesson.



    Last year I almost completely avoided teaching stuff I hate like persuasive writing. I justified myself by saying "they probably got taught it last year, and whoever has them next year will probably teach it to them next year!". I teach none of the same students next year, so will use this excuse once again.



    I open the back door and stand outside for a little while, as the class gets on, "to get a bit of fresh air". Really, I'm hoping that someone else has their windows open and I can hear their Year 9s running riot, so I can feel better about myself.



    I try to be fair, but I fear that the class will one day suss out that I'm not actually bothered about the naughty, laddish ones, and it's the quiet and dull ones whom I actually dislike.



    I owe nearly everything to the fact that nearly all of my students are inherently good-natured and likeable people, rather than me being as good as some of the management team think I am.



    I love being seen to go at 6:00,and have someone senior to me say "ooh, working late, Jarndyce?", when I've probably been doing *** all for the last hour.



    I hate non-uniform days.Takes no effort at all to put on a suit, more so to figure out "which of my weekend clothes aren't rubbish/make me look like a hooligan/make me look fat".



    As an NQT I did loads of peer observations. Sometimes, it was to learn from one of the superteachers. Sometimes, it was pupil shadowing. Sometimes, I'd heard the kids gossiping about "Mr B's really cool!", "Dr C pretended to be a dinosaur", "Mr Y just talks about the clubs he's going to at the weekend", invent an observation focus like "oh er transition between activities", and go in just for fun.



    I had this genius kid with an incredibly quirky sense of humour. I sat him in front of me as I was the only one who appreciated his jokes. I encouraged everything that made him different from the rest of his peers. I ignored my assessment criteria for writing, as I wanted him to develop his own weird (but sophisticated style).
    Later that year, I was told, "ooh, Jarndyce, Davey's been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome!". I felt responsible.



    Big packs of mini-mars bars/packs of smarties/lollies never come in the right amount for one each in a typical class. I normally eat the amount it takes to get them down to the right number. Then I eat too many, and either buy more, or munch away at them over the course of the week.



    On the food theme, I have bought cookies/doughnuts from Tesco as end-of-term treats, etc, for classes. They work out cheaper, in fact, than treat-size chocolates. If the class annoys me during the final lesson, nothing for them! Treats all round in my department office, and lots to eat for my own 'afternoon tea' after school!



    Once a term I make one or two classes write a "self-evaluation", basically "five things I have enjoyed so far", knowing full well that all of them will make one or two points about how much they adore me, and it will help raise my crippled self-esteem. One of the clever kids actually figured this out - "Sir, I've finished your compliments sheet".



    Sometimes I feel a giggling fit coming on over something completely unremarkable, and actually have to leave the room to calm down.
     
  15. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I ate the rest of the chocolate fridge cake. I took all 3 pieces pretending to take some to my TAs, but actually ate 2 in the staffroom while I waited for the kettle to boil and the other on the way back to my classroom.
    Having met my new kids, I'm actually going to miss my class from hell.


     
  16. I was really pleased when a child who has caused me much grief got punched by one of his classmates.
     
  17. BUMP

    Read all of these, loved it.
     
  18. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    Oh, good grief, I can't believe 3 years have gone by since we started this thread, and the really scary thing is, NOTHING HAS CHANGED MUCH!!!
     
  19. I confess that when we have parties and the children bring in food I pick out the best/nicest things to keep for myself!
     
  20. missied

    missied New commenter

    I hate the fact that the only children who get the extra help they need are the ones with bad behaviour

    That no-one fromSMT or head can 'show' me an outstanding lesson but will criticise the rest of us

    That I have to fill in meaningless plans to tick a box

    That this job and all the rubbish paperwork sucks the fun out of the actual teaching

    I love it when parents tell the head a few home truths

    I tell the children that they've worked so hard this week there will be no homework!
     

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