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Missing Xmas staff party

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by thekillers1, Dec 14, 2018.

  1. thekillers1

    thekillers1 Lead commenter

    Yeah, title says it all as I’m no longer bother becoming drunk with coworkers, plus I’d much rather save the money for the wife and avoid any office politics/chat. Anyone else in a similar boat?
  2. 8sycamore

    8sycamore Occasional commenter

    No big deal. If you don't want to go, you don't go. I very rarely do because I like to spend maximum time with family.
  3. ATfan

    ATfan Star commenter

    Yes. I've always said no for the following reasons:

    1. I live a long way from where I work.
    2. I would therefore not get home until the small hours.
    3. I live 30 mins from the station so would require a lift and would not feel safe waiting at the station at that time as it is in a rough area.
    4. I am not prepared to shell out £100+ per night to stay in a hotel near to where the party is as an alternative.
    5. I have chronic neuropathic back pain which limits my mobility when it flares up (loud music is a trigger and I can't dance because of this condition).
    6. I am not a social person and just want to go home when work is done because I'm tired (and want to keep work and my private life separate).

    People shut up when I tell them this and leave me alone about it, which is great. However, I do show willingness on a small scale during the day. E.g. attending departmental lunches and days out. I've gone past the age (and I'm still in my 30s) where I care whether this offends people or not. My back pain has taught me to set and stick to my limits.
    bevdex, henrypm0, Curae and 7 others like this.
  4. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Me: Ugh. I hate parties and I hate socialising.

    Them: Oh. OK.
  5. ATfan

    ATfan Star commenter

    I've given that response too :)
  6. MrsArmitage

    MrsArmitage Occasional commenter

    Ours seem to end up as some kind of shenanigans where everyone puts their car keys in a fishbowl, I politely decline.
  7. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I tell everyone I have Asperger's. I probably do. I'm fine in front of a class as we're there for a reason and I'm the one who's directing it.

    Socially? I'm all - why? What is the point? I don't get it. This does nothing for me.
  8. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    When I read the title I thought you were expressing sorrow. In my head I was saying "Result!"
    I have become friendly, and even socialised with various colleagues over the years, but the self-selecting Christmas party goers were rarely among them.
    Ghastly, ghastly event. Stay home, watch TV, write cards, drink hot chocolate. Have an early night.
    englbee, henrypm0, Nanny Ogg and 7 others like this.
  9. FriarLawrence

    FriarLawrence Senior commenter

    I don’t go because I’m not one for big groups of people. I also don’t drink, so parties of the whole-school type aren’t bursting with fun for me. It’s no big deal. I love my team, and many of my colleagues in the wider school, and my relationships with them don’t seem to be wildly affected. I don’t go to the pub on a Friday either (childcare, plus y’know... I don’t drink) and that doesn’t seem to matter either. I think I have a reputation as a friendly person who is quite private and keeps work and play separate - and since that’s an entirely accurate description, I’m fine with it. :)
  10. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    If they were all in the same boat the boat would be sinking. Large numbers feel exactly as you do, and act upon it.
    ATfan, grumpydogwoman and thekillers1 like this.
  11. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    My default setting is "no,thanks".
  12. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    That's me!

    And when it is on the last day of term doubly so.
    School finishes at 1pm.
    I'm home by 2.30 at the latest.
    I want to be in jim-jams by 3pm and slightly (a lot) inebriated by 5pm. Then asleep by 8pm.

    I do not want to stay sober, get dressed up and drive an hour to meet colleagues at 6.30 and make polite small talk, eat naff food and stay sober to have an hours drive home later in the evening! Especially if I only actually like about half of them!

    I'm not going either.
  13. thekillers1

    thekillers1 Lead commenter

    agathamorse, d_fahey, ATfan and 4 others like this.
  14. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Quite like a bit of a party myself.
    We have a very large staff and I like the work parties where after a couple of hours people have somehow gravitated to the same roles they have in whole school meetings. That's noddies at the bar on high stools, PE teachers standing and only in threes, six generations of Maths teachers at one small table trying to understand, and thirty two people huddled together at the back under the heated lamp wishing they were somewhere else yet somehow not leaving.
  15. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I was always first on the dance floor.

  16. Summerhols6

    Summerhols6 Occasional commenter

    They're colleagues not your friends (most of them). The staff you like you will stay in contact with outside of work anyway. The rest forget them, you either don't know them (huge turnover in my school and others) or don't like them.
  17. Summerhols6

    Summerhols6 Occasional commenter

    Nightmare! Braver than me!
  18. carlie16

    carlie16 New commenter

    I remember my first xmas party in my current school. One of the senior members of staff drunkenly approached me and said: "You're a f*****" and then looked at the other newbie beside me and said: "And you're an even bigger f*****"!! I must add that myself and newbie are quiet, inoffensive people who do our jobs professionally and stay out of everyone's business. I was scared going to work the following Monday!!!

    Why would one pay to put up with that ****??
  19. yodaami2

    yodaami2 Lead commenter

    I'm a really sociable person. But I hate these dos. I like to sit and chat with a group but I'd rather they weren't ratarsed! I can do without dancing too. And the food is never really up to much either. I go occasionally and am always disappointed. Probably won't to another one again.
    thekillers1 likes this.
  20. yodaami2

    yodaami2 Lead commenter

    Oh and all that **** about "what are you wearing?" "I've got a new dress" " make up and hair. What a load of old shinealight!

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