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missing mum

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by angiebabe, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    My granddaughter is 5 and in reception at a private school (ie very small classes). She is extremely bright - I know that we all say that but in nursery parents were told that there are gifted and talented children and then there is O - but we knew this very early on.
    Parents have now been told that she often does not join in with lessons and can be extremely withdrawn and have a 'sad' face! When asked why she is sometimes sad at school she says because she misses mummy. My daughter is a wonderful parent to her two girls and has taught them so much at home - there is seldom a minute in the day when they are left to their own devises - in a very good way, I'm not saying everything is structured but they have lacked no stimulation from birth.
    I am concerned (as are her parents). What should they say or do?
     
  2. I would imagine that she misses mummy when she feels sad rather than missing mummy and then feeling sad. We all need our mums when sad! Could there be friendship issues? If O is very bright she might find it difficult to relate to some of the other children because she is at a different stage of development, interested in different things, and with more sophisticated play. It might be worth trying to foster some friendships by inviting friends round. Could it be boredom? How much are O's interests taken into account at school? Could she take in some items to show which would alert the teacher to what makes her tick? Or could mum have a word about this with the teacher? Could it be a habit? Having once shown this withdrawal and been rewarded with (understandable) concern has she found it to be a good way of getting attention? Could she be tired? It's amazing how many children go into a trough during the afternoon. Tiredness is guaranteed to make you want mummy, too. Does she go to bed at the right time for her? Does she do too much after school? As far as saying or doing anything, it is probably important to keep an eye on the situation, but at the same time not to be over concerned or anxious. It is natural for a thoughtful and sensitive child to be aware of their emotions, and in a sense, it can be a sign of maturity. We are all different, with our own personalities and ways of being, and it is incredibly heart-rending for parents to know that their child is upset at school, but something that we have to come to terms with. We can't be there for them for ever. It reminds me of the old startrite advert featuring the two children wandering off down the road, presumably away from their doting parents.
     
  3. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    Yes I agree too with thumbie we have considered all the aspects that she writes about. One thing that is a cause for concern though is that O is very much 'in charge' of games at home insomuch that she likes to direct eg when I am there I have to be 'teacher' but she tells me what I have to do, which is very comical really because she knows I am a teacher! Also she says she has no-one to play with sometimes and mum has explained to her that this is because she cannot always just play the games she wants to play, she must join in other children's games too.
    I really hope I'm not portraying O as manipulative or 'spoilt'. She is a sweet little girl, kind and thoughtful and very creative.
     
  4. Leapyearbaby64

    Leapyearbaby64 New commenter

    Is this a new issue associated with her going to school or did it happen at nursery too?
     

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