1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Miss, what's your first name?

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by minnieminx, Mar 19, 2011.

  1. Pretty much all of the classes I have had children have found out my name. If I don't tell them directly they will work it out from seeing folders/notes addressed to me/hearing other staff members calling me by my first name. It doesn't bother me that they know. In fact at one of the schools I used to work at all the staff were known by their first name as Miss Sarah or Mr Eric or whatever - even the headteacher. Definitely my preferred naming as I have a silly surname (and indeed often the children are disappointed I have a relatively normal first name to go with it - I get a lot more stick about my surname than I do about my first name!)
    As for facebook I have an account, people who aren't friends with me can only see a profile picture and my name. I don't want to be unsearchable as there are legitimate people that want to add me that I want to be added by. And I am easily found as I am the only person on facebook with my name and even if you put my surname in there are only about 20-30 of us! I have had requests off older students (primary) and I have just sent them a polite message back explaining that they can't be friends with me on facebook and they don't mind.
     
  2. My wife, also a teacher, put her jacket on the back of her chair in the Year 2 class. A couple of children stopped her at break time to tell her that they knew her 'real name'.
    'It's Laura!' they said (it isn't) She later realised that they had read the name in her jacket (Laura Ashley) and assumed that she, like them, had her name tag in her clothes.
     
  3. Let me digress:
    The last post but one reminds me of a story.
    A new resident is brought into the lounge of a nursing home, and the Nurse attempts to introduce him:
    "Right everyone; this is Mr... Er..."
    So she has a look at the name tag under his collar:
    "Ah! Mr Ianto Jones!"
    The following day another newcomer is led in, and Nurse goes out to answer the phone.
    "Who's this, then?" - asks one of the residents.
    "Well I dunno" - answers his friend.
    A third stands up:
    "Leave this to me, boys! I know what to do!"
    So the newcomer has his collar lifted, and the amazed enquirer turns to his neighbours:
    "Watch the language there boys: we're blessed with a visitation from St Michael..."
     
  4. I don't think it's their knowing one's first name that can be a problem; it's the potential for insolence, if you're teaching kids who don't know the boundaries of polite behaviour. The students you quote sound just fine: 'Sir'; "....." Etc. The ones teachers are for the most part talking about don't start off from 'Sir', nor do they let it rest at "...".
     
  5. When I first started teaching some sixth formers called me by my first name.
    It's more of a relaxed environment and I had no problem with it at all.
     
  6. Why on earth not?? That's nothing to do with his name, it's simply demonstrates that the teacher has a totally unacceptable relationship with the students and something has to be done about it. Pronto.
    This thread has made me giggle though, especially the "insolence" lol. Not a term I can imagine any teacher I know using, unless ironically. But I mean, what's the problem? My own education goes back to the 50s and 60s, and I think I knew back then the first names of most or all of my teachers in primary and secondary school. Probably your head's first name appears fairly regulalry in your loal newspapers, so why bother hiding yours? I just don't see the problem.
     
  7. Oh dear, vehar, are you so out of touch that you conflate "unacceptable relationship" with suggestions of sexual impropriety? Look. Nowadays, being a good teacher depends upon building good relationships. Based on mutual respect. With your students. And with their parents or other carers. And with the rest of the team you work with in your school. The days when, as I think you said something like this recently, we were brought up to automatically respect the adult in the room, are gone. Dead. Buried. You need to earn respect - just like GPs, policemen, and any other "professional" public servant. It'sd a two-way process. Get used to it. And all that isn't just nowadays, it's been essentially true for the last 20 years and more, since people like you were stopped from hitting children and young people who annoyed them. And before that too, if truth be told, if we could be spared the rose-tinted delusions.
    It always makes me smile when folks like you trot out the "maybe you don't know many teachers" line. How sad to have to try that to score your point. In fact, my dear girl, I'm pretty sure I know more teachers than you do. And I've spent more hours than I care to remember in the last 20 years trying to persuade them of the facts above, and the skills they need to acquire (if they don't come naturally) to be effective in the real world. Not the one you obviously would like to exist .... society has changed, your job is to work effectively within it as it is, not the one you would like to have if you could run the world. And believe me, if any of them used "insolence" (other than in jest) in my presence, they would be ribbed for it for ever after.
    Oh, and so would any student who tried what you suggest with me, too. They would live to regret it. [​IMG]


     
  8. [quote user="JamesTES"
    Oh dear, vehar, are you so out of touch that you conflate "unacceptable relationship" with suggestions of sexual impropriety? Look. Nowadays, being a good teacher depends upon building good relationships. Based on mutual respect. With your students. And with their parents or other carers. And with the rest of the team you work with in your school. The days when, as I think you said something like this recently, we were brought up to automatically respect the adult in the room, are gone. Dead. Buried. You need to earn respect - just like GPs, policemen, and any other "professional" public servant. It'sd a two-way process. Get used to it. And all that isn't just nowadays, it's been essentially true for the last 20 years and more, since people like you were stopped from hitting children and young people who annoyed them. And before that too, if truth be told, if we could be spared the rose-tinted delusions.
    It always makes me smile when folks like you trot out the "maybe you don't know many teachers" line. How sad to have to try that to score your point. In fact, my dear girl, I'm pretty sure I know more teachers than you do. And I've spent more hours than I care to remember in the last 20 years trying to persuade them of the facts above, and the skills they need to acquire (if they don't come naturally) to be effective in the real world. Not the one you obviously would like to exist .... society has changed, your job is to work effectively within it as it is, not the one you would like to have if you could run the world. And believe me, if any of them used "insolence" (other than in jest) in my presence, they would be ribbed for it for ever after.
    Oh, and so would any student who tried what you suggest with me, too. They would live to regret it. [​IMG]


    /quote]
    I'll let this 'farraginous assembly' of patronising waffle speak for itself.
    (Has to be a wind-up. surely? HAS to be)
     
  9. YesMrBronson

    YesMrBronson New commenter

    That's cobblers. I have brought my Son up to respect those in the positions you listed. He automatically affords them respect unless they lose his respect (perhaps by doing an obviously shoddy job).
    The people you list have ALREADY earned his respect by virtue of their responsibility.

    You ought to be ashamed for the views you've posted above.
     
  10. Someone who identifies himself with a character in a 1980s TV series who was a vindictive bully who took pleasure in beating children tells <u>me</u> that I ought to be ashamed of myself? Get real! The points I make above, "Mr Bronson"(!), are an accurate reflection of the society in which we live in the 2010s, and the skills needed from those who are paid to be teachers in our state education system. Whatever you might like to fantasise is the punitive regime in which you would like to be working, that is the reality. Time you learned to adjust to it?
     
  11. The problem isn't that students know their teachers names. The problem is that some students will disrupt lessons in order to ask teachers questions about their name and other personal information.

     
  12. What do you do if students or parents are not interested in having a relationship with you?
    This doesn't sound like a good way to foster 'good' relationships with the rest of the team in your school.
    This looks like a threat to me. I thought being 'good' was about teachers working within their own system and building relationships with pupils.

     
  13. Er didn't you just admit to taking the **** out of colleagues who utter words you consider to be old fashioned in you presence? I hope you realise that this behaviour is vindictive bullying.
    While I am sure your views represent certain elements of our society to say that they portray an accurate reflection of British society as a whole is wide of the mark.
     
  14. garyconyers

    garyconyers New commenter


    I'm sure you've repeated this enough times to yourself that you do genuinely believe it. You can fool yourself, I suppose, but fortunately most people know this to be rubbish.

    The only time that adults are blamed for being abused, or getting upset for being abused is when it happens to teachers in schools. The level of extreme 'misbehaviour' present in some schools just doesn't happen elsewhere. I've locked up enough youths in shops/ hospital waiting rooms/ benefit offices/ business receptions for behaviour that wouldn't even register as significant in some schools to realise this.
    All that shows is that there really is a behaviour crisis is some schools - pupils get away with things in schools that they just wouldn't anywhere else. Some people may be deluded enough not to believe this but those people wouldn't have a clue about what schools are really like. These idiots would dismiss the dozens of teachers with awful experiences as 'liars ' just because they don't want to see the truth. Madness.
    Riiiiight - so those who recognise how bad things are in schools automatically want to hit kids? Pathetic! I have seen TES threads on caning over the years and spoken to hundreds of teachers - very few in my experience want a return to corporal punishment. Although I recognise that behaviour is out of control throughout in some schools, and that working conditions are intolerable for many teachers, I don't want to see corporal punishment returning. Ever. I've always been against striking/ hitting/ smacking children as a sanction - throughout childhood, as a teacher and a parent. I've never hit a child, nor wanted to. Disagreeing with you James does not equate to wanting to smack childen. Two unrelated things. Understand?
    So you're a university-based teacher trainer? Everything you say about classroom management, your inability to comprehend a real classroom, your disbelief of real incidents makes sense. No wonder you were so cagey about your teaching experiences!!

    Things aren't that bad in schools, James? (See posts 185, 186 in link below). Are they all liars, or are you wrong. (Why do so many teachers quit after a few years).

    https://community.tes.co.uk/forums/t/469220.aspx?PageIndex=19
     
  15. RaymondSoltysek

    RaymondSoltysek New commenter

    I am a university-based teacher trainer. You know very little of the job I do or the messages on behaviour management I give my students, so please try to keep your prejudices under control, gary.
     
  16. Are you saying there is a significant difference between the messages you post about behaviour management on TES and the messages you give to your students?
     
  17. RaymondSoltysek

    RaymondSoltysek New commenter

    No, but behaviour management is an extremely important part of our curriculum, and the content students experience is so thorough that the brief messages I post on here would only form the smallest part of what they receive. Therefore, it is perfectly accurate to say that gary knows very little about the messages I give my students about behaviour management.
    However, I'm sure gary is grateful for your customary defence of him.
     
  18. Attempting to defend Gary wasn't the purpose of my post. I'm personally interested in debate but it is very difficult to debate properly if participants fail to express their point of view clearly then accuse others of ignorance - I'm not implying that anyone has done this here.
    That said I think Gary's post was aimed at JamesTES so I was surprised when you responded in the way you did. Maybe Gary can help out by clarifying whether his post was aimed at JamesTES or university based teacher trainers in general.
     
  19. RaymondSoltysek

    RaymondSoltysek New commenter

    I would think that gary's statement that James' "inability to comprehend a real classroom" would "make sense" were he a university based teacher trainer can be construed as a statement directed at all university based teacher trainers. Me included. As such, it hardly equates with his contention on another thread that he doesn't insult people.
    However, as you say, I am sure he will clarify at some length what he meant.
     
  20. I must admit I didn't read Garys comment as an attack on all University based teacher trainers, Raymond.
    I think theres a world of difference between your comments, which are helpful, constructive and give positive ideas and strategies for use in the classroom, and JamesTES comments, which do seem to be designed to antagonise other posters (despite the fact he clearly has alot of knowledge and has often been able to make constructive suggestions as well).
    My previous job saw me working with alot of university based teacher trainers across the country and they all seemed to be dedicated and intelligent individuals who knew their stuff. But, like with any job, there are bound to be a few, who for whatever reason, arent as good as they should be.
    If JamesTES is indeed a university based teacher trainer, then the concern would be that if he really does believe all that he posts on this forums, then (as Gary and others suggested), he would appear to be in some state of denial about certain aspects of teaching - i.e. the extent of behaviour issues in the classroom etc.

     

Share This Page