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Mindfulness and other happiness techniques....

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Eureka!, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. Eureka!

    Eureka! Lead commenter

    I am giving mindfulness a go - over the last few days - as I have been getting a bit fed up with myself. At least I think it is what is known as "mindfulness", but I dare say it is my version of it. What is it about your mental processes in daily life that makes you fed up with yourself? What steps do you take to improve matters?

    One of mine is not feeling physically comfortable. Minor stuff, like when doing washing up being concerned that wet hands are a nuisance.

    Solution 1: let the worst happen. The fridge door handle will be wet if I open it without drying my hands. So what?
    Solution 2: calmly deal with the problem by using a towel.

    Now notice how those two solutions are almost contradictory. The first is a "so what?" attitude. The second is a "sort it" one. If one is not careful, one can go into a tizz debating which option to go for, letting in all that goddam thinking and not being in the moment. I believe the trick is to just choose one quickly - easier to do once routines have been established - and then whichever one has been chosen, be satisfied with it.

    Another is feeling that I can't relax as there is vaguely something I should be doing . Again there are two conflicting solutions I have found - 1) get on with doing whatever I like 2) sort it! I find that if I adopt one attitude or the other for a chunk of the day I can enjoy being in that mode.

    A third issue is worrying about what others think of me in some respect. I found the solution to this problem some time ago. I just remind myself that I am who I am and I like it... and there will always be an opportunity in the future to get on better with anyone whose opinion, (perhaps one that I am merely assuming anyway) of me bothers me.
  2. Eureka!

    Eureka! Lead commenter

    And not forgetting standard "mindfulness" of enjoying the moment ...
  3. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I don't think you've quite got the point, Eury.

    Your hands are wet. Feel them. Let them feel for themselves. They may be warm and wet or cold and wet. The handle may be dry but become wet. That is not a problem. You are imposing a value-judgement as if the handle 'should' somehow be dry.

    It is simply as it is. And, if you decide to pick up a towel, then you have picked up a towel.

    Discomfort isn't an objective state. You have elected to describe the sensations as unpleasant. They are merely the contact of skin with solids and liquids. You have opted to take those sensations and regard them as somehow your own. They need not be. The air is not your own and yet you feel it.

    Be mindful but don't be attached.
    monicabilongame likes this.
  4. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    You might find this helpful.
    BelleDuJour and Eureka! like this.
  5. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    There aren't any. I'm quite happy with me. It's other people's mental processes that make me fed up.
    I sneak up on them with chloroform and then lock them up in a disused mine.

    This life is hard work.
    Noja and Flere-Imsaho like this.
  6. Eureka!

    Eureka! Lead commenter

    I admit to being a mindfulness novice Grumpy, though I am aware of much of its ideology, as my second post indicated. But please remind yourself of the thread title ...

    Stress, even very low level, can seriously interfere with enjoyment of everyday activities. And the biggest cause of low level stress is making a decision, however small. That is why some people eat the same meals every day or only wear one style of clothes - it avoids having to make a decision. If you have a place for everything, then stress is avoided when tidying away.

    If I perceive it to be a problem, then it's a problem. Should you ignore problems?

    I didn't put t very well when I used the term "not feeling physically comfortable". I should have said "not feeling mentally comfortable about various aspects of my body and the environment."

    Perhaps we could agree that there are certain steps one can take in everyday life that will lay the foundations for a better mindfulness experience? That stress should be avoided as much as possible? And that there are certain mental attitudes to life that can life more enjoyable?
  7. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    That's why I always just lock my captives up in the same mine.
    Noja and Eureka! like this.
  8. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I'm of the 'sort it' mentality. Not necessarily right away, though. I might do it there and then or I might leave it days or weeks. I don't fret about it; I just go with the flow.

    I used to care what people thought about me and was quite self-conscious, which could be a hindrance. Nowadays, I don't care and it is so liberating!
    Eureka! likes this.
  9. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Where does mindlessness come into all of this?
    InkyP likes this.
  10. Eureka!

    Eureka! Lead commenter

    errrrmmm mindfulness is actually pretty "mindless" n'est-ce pas?
  11. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Little Nell is a mindfulness expert. NHS sort.
    She tells me, think of the worst thing that could happen and then just say to yourself - x has happened. Like for example, if you are worried about the door handle being wet then imagine it is wet. End of. She also says this applies to times when anxiety is about something serious ie people who worry about a loved one being in a car accident. This is harder to do. i don't quite get it but I guess it is things you have no control over and life still goes on. She tells us lots of things. Handy hints.
    It is a pain having anyone in the family with any pschycology training. Apart from the problem spelling the word. You have to be careful what you say in case they start diagnosing it.
    And of course, sometimes they get it wrong.
    Although washing up etc is no problem to me, I can be put out a lot by a finger nail which is an annoying shape......... and as for negative self talk, well, I am the champion and I have to stop myself and give myself a pep talk.
    Mindfulness is enjoying life at the moment whatever you are doing. If you are not enjoying washing up you should stop and eat some cake, or stare out of the window or dance. Life is for being happy.
  12. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    That's me sorted then :D:p
  13. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    "Mindfulness", apart from not being a real word in English, is part of the whole raft of things that are complete psychobabble. better to believe in yourself, than believe in any pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo, because at the heart of any problem that is "in your mind" is you.
  14. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    It has taken me most of my life to stop worrying about things that I cannot control. I now say to myself "Is there anything I can do to change this situation?" If the answer is 'no' then I try to eliminate it from my List of Things to Worry About. It doesn't always work.
    Noja and InkyP like this.
  15. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I have spent the day in Leamington Spa with my niece who was telling me about another 'happiness technique'. At first she told me she'd had a man round to change her energy and I thought she meant she was getting a new leccy supplier but it turned out that said man had unblocked her chakras. Perhaps this could be the way forward?
    Noja likes this.
  16. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    My elder daughter is hard on me re this. Following the brain haemorrhage and stroke I have had if I start to show any stress in her presence she pounces immediately with a very strident
    "Does it matter!!!???"
    I wish I could follow your lead better Dunteachin ..... but I know what you mean.

    I remember the agonies of life wishing I hadn't been so tall...etc etc. Things I could do absolutely s*d all about.
    It is not an easy thing to do though. We are very conditioned in one way or another to be otherwise.
    I wish you luck @Eureka!
  17. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Mindfulness (hate the term, btw) appears to be all for limited choices/options. If decision making causes low level stress and anxiety then I suppose one way of dealing with this is to do very little on a loop.
  18. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    How did he do this? :)
  19. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    That is not entirely clear to me, kibosh. I though maybe he would have used Dyno Rod type thingies but apparently he just felt her aura.
    needabreak and kibosh like this.
  20. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I find Olbas oil is good for blocked chakras.
    BelleDuJour likes this.

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