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Maths Jokes

Discussion in 'Mathematics' started by debecca, Mar 6, 2003.

  1. Ok it might have been a long half term for you but jokes like that are terrible, lol

    Kepp up the good work :)
  2. What do you get if you have more than 30 people at a tea party?

    A Z party.
  3. I don't get it
  4. maths126

    maths126 New commenter

    What is E. T. short for?

    Because he's got little legs.
  5. chaucer73

    chaucer73 New commenter

    what is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?


    what do you call a snowman in June?

    a puddle
  6. I decided to wallpaper my lounge the other day. I knew that Charlie next door had done his about a month ago so I asked him,

    "Charlie, how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your lounge? We're both in semi's, so the size is the same even if the room is the other way round - I think."

    "Seventeen," said Charlie.

    So I bought seventeen rolls of paper and b*gg*r me, I had eight left over.

    "You told me you bought seventeen rolls," I complained to Charlie. "I bought seventeen and I've got eight left over."

    "That's funny," said Charlie, "so have I.
  7. from the two Ronnies that one,
  8. It's a lot older than that ...
  9. not a joke but even better cos real life.

    our head of department's daughter works in a pub and she went to pick her up the other night. as our HoD arrived her daughter was serving behind the bar - being very reasonable and pleasant but not smiling as she served.
    The lady who was being served left the bar and said to our Hod "well she's full of xmas cheer isnt she?"

    to which our Hod replied - "you should try living with her!"

    absolutely brilliant - cutting and to the point, but it needs a few seconds to sink in!!!
  10. ananke

    ananke New commenter

    There are 10 types of people in the world.

    Those who understand binary and those who don't!
  11. Had to go up into the loft with the missus last night.....

    ... dirty, smelly, cold, dusty and covered in cobwebs.....

    ... but she's good with the kids.......
  12. My favourite joke at the moment:

    Where are mathematicians buried?
    >The Symmetry!

    Ha ha ha...
    Happy holidays to all
  13. farmer sends his talking sheepdog out to count his sheep.

    farmer - how many have i got?

    dog - 100

    farmer - 100? I only had 96 yesterday

    dog - I know, I rounded them up!!

    Thank you and goodnight.
  14. Discovered this thread when searching for something that has nothing to do with maths or jokes. Thought I'd bump it up and make someone smile. I guess 99% of the jokes are funny but I didn't get 99% of them : ( This is one of the less 'clever' ones that made me laugh.
  15. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

    The first says 'I'll have a pint'

    The second says 'I'll have half of whatever he's having'.

    The barman says 'I don't have time for this. I'm pulling 2 pints and you can sort it out among yourselves'
  16. Teacher 'Einstein said we only use 10% of our brains'
    A/B Borderine GCSE entrant 'What about the other 10%?'
  17. Andrew Jeffrey

    Andrew Jeffrey New commenter

    Ooh, I can use that! Thanks!
  18. My favourite is this one....
    There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary numbers and those that don't.
  19. Decimals have a point.

    Calculus has it's limits.
  20. and it came out in logs!

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