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Discussion in 'Personal' started by FSharp, Mar 27, 2012.
Is there any point of marriage anymore and why does it feel so important?
To very many people, yes.
Does it to you?
we got engaged last month, probably getting married around september/october. it is important to us as we have two little children and it will complete our family bringing us all under one name.
it is also the first time (and only) for me, my other half has been married before.
there are endless reason why it is a good thing but i am sure there are people with equally feasible arguments against it. it is a very personal thing and personally i like it.
Congratulations! Another TES marriage
It avoids inheritance tax.
Surely that's putting the cart before the horse ....
How rude. It is the 21st Century, you know...
Trailer before the tractor?
Been there and see how THAT turned out.... But I want to go and work in the Middle East and if I want my partner to come with me we HAVE to be married, it is the law... So chalk up another TES wedding probably by the end of April....but no white, no flowers, no guests.... Just us and two witnesses and the official, means to an end that's all ...
I'm neither for nor against marriage, I reckon it's up to the individual and for myself I have no strong feelings either way. The only thing that puts me off getting married is that I strongly disagree with the fact that I'm only allowed to get married because I happen to be attracted to the opposite sex. I have a lot of gay friends who are in long term committed relationships and would love to get married, and I find it extremely objectionable and unfair that if I wanted to I could decide to get married next week to some bloke I've only just met, but my friends who have been together for years and are completely settled together are not allowed to get married purely because they happen to be the same gender. Maybe when marriage is available to everyone, I'll think about doing it!
No pressure then?!
Don't ask why not, ask why. Why wouldya? What does it affect? Who does it affect? Who cares? Not saying any of those things don't matter or that they should/not matter to you. But why do/do not do ANYTHING without thiking why(not)?
I have to say that for me I wouldn't give myself the smallest possible risk of getting preg to a man who I didn't know was in it for the long haul, married or not. Which might explain why i am still single. I teach the product of dodgy conception ideology and even tho i think I would be a good mother, alone, insolvent, I'd still bea good mother to a kid who didn't have a dad.
Are you as hurt by the fact two sisters (for example) living together and sharing all they have, cannot have the same rights as gays when it comes to partnerships and tax benefits? (Recent example where a sister died after sharing the home for 30 years - all taxes and rights lost to the government, leaving the other sister in poverty, while a gay couple in a registered partnership done shortly before one died of AIDS saved hundreds of thousands of dollars for the man left, leaving him financially secure and able to keep the home).Or that a heterosexual couple living for years together (but not marrying) have zero rights, like said sisters, too? My point being, how far will you take your view here?
firstly, how about looking at the circumstances before diving in with crass comments.
secondly, i think you have gone off topic
and to quote my dad (who isnt eric but borrowed his words) - we are playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order.
Does that mean I don't get to make another Tes Wedding cake?
The sisters are not a couple. As for the heterosexual couple they clearly have chosen to not get married,when they could have done it in so many ways,from a quick two witnesses/no guests down the register office to the full blown church and 300 guests in a manor house job. As for civil partnerships,not sure why some people insist that they are not a marriage. There's cake,presents and dressing up. sounds pretty much like a wedding to me.
Don't get me wrong, civil partnerships are certainly a step in the right direction and I'm really pleased that they exist, but they're not the same as a marriage. If they were, then why would they not just be called a marriage rather than having one thing for heterosexual couples and another for same sex couples? My boyfriend and I could dress up in fancy clothes, promise to love each other forever and then eat some cake, but that doesn't mean we're married. There's a big difference between a wedding and a marriage.
Although they do have more rights than a couple who don't have a formal partnership, civil partners don't have all of the same rights as a married couple, unfortunately. A lot of other countries seem to manage to cope with the idea of people of the same sex wanting to get married, so I don't know why Britain can't.
As to the question of how far I take my views about partners having legal rights to shared property - if a heterosexual couple is concerned about this, they're allowed to solve the potential problem by getting married. Gay couples are not. If the hetero couple choose not to get married, that's up to them. I know several older couples who've got married after decades of living together purely to make sure they'd be financially secure if one of them died - my aunt & uncle got married after 25 years together when he retired and realised she wouldn't get a penny of his pension if he died, and they didn't tell anyone for years because they didn't see the point!