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Man in the flat upstairs driving me mad! Help!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lillipad, Aug 16, 2011.

  1. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    I never ever see the man upstairs but oh do I hear him!! Not only does he leave his bathroom light (and therefore extractor fan on) until the early hours of the morning, meaning I have to sleep with a loud buzzing noise half the night but he also washes his clothes at stupid times. Thought it was bad at 12:20... He's just put a load in and it's.... 1am?! It bangs and clatters and whirrs for HOURS! Not only this but he snores like a pig!!


    Ive tried sleeping with earplugs but as I live alone I don't like to do this incase it blocks the sound of the fire alar if it went off... I've also considered knocking on his door but he is built like a tank and very intimidating looking. I did mention it to my landlady and she said to tell her, with regards to the washing machine bur I'm not sure how he'd respond to his landlord being contacted.


    What do I do? It doesn't matter so much while I'm off, but am dreading being kept awake half the night on school nights :( help!?
     
  2. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    1:40 am.... Spin cycle!!!
     
  3. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    2:00 still going, It sounds going to take off. Have just been sat here crying because I'm so tired and have had a horrible week. Really don't know what to do!
     
  4. Totally understand this must be a nightmare, but best thing to do is be open and upfront. Although he's built like a tank, I'm sure he (as would most men) would hate the fact he intimidates women. Tomorrow, go up at a reasonable time and explain the issues. The fact he snores is a no go-er im afraid. I snore (loudly) and you know what, theres very little we can do about it, and he might take offence to a neighbour asking him to sort it. The washing machine stuff is fair play - smile, introduce yourself, explain what you do and how you need early nights a lot of the time and ask if he could do it earlier or put it on in the morning. Same with the extractor fan.
    I think if you go to him (being polite etc) he cant really argue. He probably doesnt realise that he's being a bit of a pain. Going to the landlady/lord smacks of 'telling mum', and he might develop a 'give f***' attitude.
    I speak as an experienced flat sharer that totally empathises. Let me know how it pans out
    [​IMG] Fingers crossed
     
  5. Seems to me like you have two choices. One is to approach him about it, he may not realise you can hear it or simply didn't consider it. Just because he's large doesn't mean he's necessarily aggressive. My partner is 6'5 and of enormous build but he's a gentle giant. It might be that he just simply didn't think rather than is being deliberately inconsiderate, he might be mortified when you tell him. Second option is to use something to block out the noise, you could always try something like a soothing playlist, it might create enough of a sound buffer.
     
  6. Someones a music teacher! Great idea[​IMG]
     
  7. Absolutely, I have a playlist for every occasion :)
     
  8. stopwatch

    stopwatch Occasional commenter

    My brother spent 6 months living in a basement flat in Glasgow. His upstairs neighbour played Al Greens greatest hits virtually all night long. He now breaks into a sweat when he hears anything by this artist!
    Like others have said, the direct approach is probablly best. Most people in his situation don't realise the impact they are having, and he is more than likely going to feel pretty bad.
    Hopefully he will refrain from Washinh at midnight. If so, after a week or so, take him a bottle of wine to show your appreciation.
    With neighbours who are in close proximity, the first tack should always be to try and maintain good relationships.
     
  9. What you should have done at 2am is nock on the door and very politely explain that you can't sleep because of the noise. If he is reasonable then ask him to step into your place to listen.

    A lot of people don't realise that sound travells down more than up (in buildings anyway).
     
  10. grandelf

    grandelf New commenter

    You will find he is doing the washing during the night to take advantage of 'off peak' rates on his utility bills.

    He might be leaving the fan on to help clear the bathroom of moisture after a shower/bath each night.

    Best think you can do is explain that you can hear them and see if he can do anything to help.
    His size isn't an issue, just be polite and stay on topic, no need of hysterics or ranting.

    If you cannot face him, write him a nice letter but face to face is the easiest way to sort this type of thing out.
     
  11. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Hi guys thanks for the replies. Am very tired this morning!
    I know I'm a wimp but I'd really rather not go up there, im just worried I'll offend or he'll shout at me or something... Wish my boyfriend was around... Lol :(
     
  12. During my PGCE year, I lived in a flat in an old listed converted building, above my neighbours, who did play music quite loudly. I put up with this for several nights, but I don't think they realised how poor the floors were in terms of insulating sound, or that my bedroom was directly over their stereo. I have to admit, that about half 11 one night, I did go down and knock on their door, in pjs and probably not as polite as I could have been. They were fine, and it wasn't a problem after that. They were male and not exactly small either.
    If you go up and explain that you are struggling to sleep etc, and ask if he could consider doing the wash a bit earlier, or less frequently etc, and that you appreciate why he might be doing it at that time, and how sorry you are to go up and bother him etc, it'll either be fine, or if it's not, then respond by complaining to landlords etc
     
  13. Hi Lillipad
    I totally understand where your'e comimg from. The guy next door (a huge, burly night club bouncer) used to paly his music till very late during school nights, i coudn't actually hear the music, only the base..BRUM, BRUM BERUM BRUM...I was terrified of aproaching him but when i did, he sad he honestly didn't realize that I could hear it, he apoligized and was lovely about it, and from then on I never heard it again..(well, very occasionally)
     
  14. When I lived in a very noisy place I used very soothing music, which I played at an incredibly low volume - it really can drown out noise from outside, but should not keep you awake- it might help. I do think a short note to say that you are finding the noise a problem might be your best option, you can always say that you have called a couple of times and he has been out, so you are writing instead. I would also write a note to your landlady to say that you have written to him. It really is her job to ensure that tenants are being considerate in her property.


    I can understand his need to use late night electricity, it is a lot cheaper and he may have no idea that he is disturbing anyone.


    Good luck, there is nothing worse than not being able to get a good night's rest.
     
  15. Crowbob

    Crowbob Established commenter

    Beat me to it! My mother sets timers on her washing machine for this very reason.
     
  16. Do it! Face to face is best...NO ONE likes snotty notes no matter how theyre phrased.

    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

    Take a browse of this very funny website and see how it could end up...
     
  17. I definitely agree. If you're having neighbour problems, the worst thing you can do is send a note - so easy to misinterpret. Also by seeing him face to face, you give him the opportunity to apologise/explain straight away - he almost certainly doesn't realise he's causing a problem and will quite possibly be embarrassed that he has done so! And remember, an awful lot of large guys are real softies
     
  18. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Yes while it may be cheaper to wash during the night, I do think it's unacceptable to wash at 1 in the morning without even thinking about other people. I always turn my tv right down after 11 if I have it on because i'm aware other people may be sleeping. I'm surprised the people on the top floor haven't said anything either (Unless they can sleep through it!)

    I'm going to leave it for now, because it seems to be only weekly or so that he does it, but if it continues when i'm back at school, well i'll have to grow some balls and go up! Really would rather not though! :(
     
  19. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Don't . . . .they might get in the way when you are running away.
     
  20. RJR_38

    RJR_38 New commenter

    It could also be that he is a shift worker (which would explain why you see him) and so 1am in the morning is 'early evening' or something to him and he just doesn't think. My o/h works shifts and I know that sometimes it is difficult for him to fit in things we take for granted because of his hours at times (food shopping and washing to name but two). Whatever the reason - you just need to have a chat thats all.
    What would concern me more I have to say is how thin your floors must be if you can hear a washing machine! I live in a flat (as does my partner) and I can never hear anything of the sort. If it is all that thin perhaps you should mention to your landlady that the ceilings need soundproofing to some degree as that seems ridiculously thin to me.
     

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