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Making plans and changing plans

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Phoenixchild, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    I am being very irrational and I know it.
    I had my weekend mapped out, mostly work but like every Saturday a visit to my parents was planned and sis is phoning us later.
    Now, after a pre wedding party last night, although hub has to work this morning he now wants to attend the after wedding party.
    IF this had been the arrangement from the start I maybe wouldn't have minded but he's changed the plans and I have some kind of OCD that makes me totally unreasonable about this.
    So I have to go but my weekend is ruined and I'm upset.
    Does anyone else get absurdly upset when plans are changed or am I a total freak? I know I'm weird, you don't have to tell me that but my liking of routine and sticking to things planned is obsessive and probably explains a lot about my life lol.xx
  2. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Plans changing can totally throw me too.

    You are overreacting to say your weekend is ruined though!
  3. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    I know I am Lilac, but I can't help it, I can't see my parents if our plans change and that's the one thing I look forward to every weekend.xx
  4. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Is it not possible to see them at a different time?

    His plans have changed - do yours have to?
  5. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    I can see them in the week but it's not the same as spending a Saturday afternoon with them.
    Yes my plans have to change because if I refuse to go there'll be a row, there was the starting of one last night when I tried to rationally explain my point of view.
    So I'm hoping he'll either be too knackered to go when he gets back from work or the thought of free food and drink will get him there and me along with him.xx
  6. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    I'd let him go on his own - but then I hate being steamrollered by the threat of a row.
  7. PC, I agree with you about the plans changing thing. We make plans so we know what we are doing and then there is order and no chaos. When someone changes their plans on a whim and this directly affects me I go mad.

    I do think that a wedding is a significant occasion and if you see your parents every weekend is there no possibility you can see your parents later/earlier on in the weekend?
    Having said that, it sounds like your OH has just changed his mind and had not wanted to go to this wedding until the last minute so presumably the couple getting married are not good friends of yours. If this is the case, I would send OH off by himself if I really didn't want to go

  8. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    If you can't get over it, you'll have a horrid time, Phoenix (and the seeds of more resentment and argument?). Go with the flow - and maybe pop over to your parentals on Sunday?
    Chill out. The sun is out. You can wear a nice frock and have a giggle. Look to the positives, and tell yourself you are learning how not to be resistant to change, and how to be resilient first hand.
    (she can spout the jargon with the best(?) of them)
  9. Have I got it right

    You are going to a wedding ... your plan was to not go to the reception but to make your usual visit to your parents

    Your husband now wants to attend the reception

    TBH ... you suggest that you have a "problem" with change and it this is really causing you so much distress then that does sound like something you need to work on

    Could you see your parents on Sunday?
  10. Phoenixchild

    Phoenixchild Occasional commenter

    To clarify, our next door neighbour's son is getting married. They are Indian, we attended the pre wedding party, now hub wants to go to the after wedding party. I can't visit my parents tomorrow as have got too much work, reports, SAT's marking, reading APP and planning for a supply teacher on Monday.
    But you are right, the problem with change does need addressing.xx
  11. Could your parents come to the after party with you ... my experience of Indian weddings suggest that they would be welcome and you could spend time with them
  12. Dont be too hard on yourself, Phoenix.
    If we were all cool and calmly rational at all times, we would be an odd lot.
    Personally, I think you should go to the do - it is a one off - and swallow the emotion.
    But dont beat yourself up about the emotion.

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