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Making big life-changing decisions

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lilachardy, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Do you have any strategies about how to make really big, life changing, upsetting decisions?

    I find it hard to make decisions because I get too emotional and caught up with things to be rational.

    I just wondered if you had any hints or ideas - I can't even manage to make a list of pros and cons...
  2. You just have to be ruthless, and not spend too much time thinking about the cons. If you think too much about possible cons, you'll never make the life-changing decision. Of course, some decisions don't take much thought, they just have to be made for one's health/safety/sanity, whatever.

    Of course, you may regret the life-changing decisions you make (I've had those moments) but maybe not.
  3. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    I think I know what it is you are trying to decide. I remember a friend telling me once to always pick the option which made me feel least anxious. I don't suppose that helps a great deal but it's all I have. Thinking of you. x x
  4. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    and remember, money is money and not much use if it can't buy you what you need even if it's a long shot.
  5. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    I was always told it was better to regret doing something than not having done it (but I guessif you were put away for murder that may not be true [​IMG])
    Gut instincts are usually right but a sensible approach helps x
  6. I think if the decision is to do with health and sanity (mentioned in my previous post) then it has to be made, and firmly without dithering. If making said decision will help in any way with these, or help to get you something you need, then do what you need to do.

    If that makes sense.
  7. Imagine yourself in a year's time, having effected any chnages that need making.
    How do you think you would feel?
    Sometimes it's how you're going to get there that can be the frightening bit.
    Hope it goes well.
  8. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    I just throw myself into life-changing decisions and do what feels right. No serious regrets so far, but that could just be luck [​IMG]
  9. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Thanks all.

    I think I know where I want to be in a year's time... it's just there are about 8 ways to get there, and none of them seem particularly likely to happen!
  10. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    heads I do X, tails Y, toss the coin.
    Are you disappointed with the result?
    so now you know what you want to do
  11. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    My friend has just told me it's easy to make decisions, she doesn' t know why I can't do it!

    It's not so much about disappointment if the "wrong" one comes up, more about the bravery to go through with it...
  12. Oh For goodness sake wear the red ones.
  13. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

  14. I'm a list maker - I do write a list of pro's and cons, but often go with the decision even though the cons list is longer! Just having everything written down seems to help clarify what I really want to or should do.
    Sometimes reading the cons written down can make you realise that they are not so bad.
    The other thing to do is to ask yourself what would you advise a friend in your situation to do?
    And maybe just take a risk and go for it (whatever it is). I've made some life-changing decisions a few years ago and although it hasn't all been plain sailing since (and financially has been stressful) I don't regret taking a chance and following my heart.

  15. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    I always, always, always go with my gut instinct.

  16. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Mmmm, I have great faith in gut instincts - Mother Nature gave them to us for a reason!

    However, I really don't know what to do here. Brain says one thing, heart says another, gut says yet another... best friend says a fourth option.
  17. and in the end, there are no right or wrong decisions - we have no insights into alternative lives - so there are only the decisions we have made
    good luck!
  18. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Oooh, that's a tough one, lil.
    I've not had to make one of those decisions for a long while. This will require much contemplation and several 'sleep on its'.
  19. Or you could just go with your gut feeling. The last time I did that, it resulted in something that has changed my life for the better. Not that this is about me, but you get the gist behind the statement.
  20. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Yeah, I could, but my heart's not in it, my head is saying NOOOOOOOOOOO!

    And I also think it's easier to see the whole picture from the outside, which is why I value what my friend said. I'm going to ask another one tomorrow.

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