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Love of life

Discussion in 'Personal' started by oldsomeman, Aug 10, 2015.

  1. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Do you think its possible to not have a love of life?
  2. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Why do you ask, oldy?
  3. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

    Do you mean a love of your life, or just your own?
  4. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

    "The life that I have

    Is all that I have

    And the life that I have is yours.

    The love that I have

    Of the love that I have

    Is yours and yours and yours.

    A sleep I shall have

    A rest I shall have

    Yet death will be but a pause.

    For the peace of my years

    In the long green grass

    Will be yours and yours and yours."

    Or something like that!
  5. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    I mean wake up and find you dont seem to love living anymore....it just seems to be a drag rather than a pleasure.I just seem to get so crabby these days and the things which gave me pleasure such as my allotment are not fulfilling a role.

    Its not the wifes fault.just me I think settling in my Meldrue syndrome.
  6. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

    Meldrew - aka one foot in the grave? Come along now Oldy!
  7. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    yes i dont believe it :)
  8. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    ps where am i going?
  9. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

  10. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    excellent...do i get a biscuit to dunk in it lol

    Sorry i shsould be flippant..but thank you for the offer
  11. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    should not
  12. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

    Time to go home ( ie bed) as Teddy is feeling very tired, I think. But take care.
  13. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    thank you for trying to cheer me up....but it was a serious question.Some one will come along with more suggestions I am sure. Have a lovely rest of the evening.
  14. felltogroundinberkeleysquare

    felltogroundinberkeleysquare Established commenter

    You were talking to a qualified social worker - and of course it is a serious question if being honest. However, I don't think you will find the answer on TES, simply because it is a precocious entity, whereas you need hands on help, unless, of course this is just a repeat of the previous probs.... in which case you should seek the help you did before, as well as support online, but it's more likely if you are really depressed you should look to real people. Still best of luck Oldsomeman.
  15. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    its not depression as such..just seem to have lost my Mojo and go to find the new thing which spurts me in to life and action.

    I do things but once that task is finished then i suddenly feel lost..but at other times the things i used to enjoy become a chore.or less pleasurable.

    Ive seen the mental health worker in the past and she helped to solve that problem at the time but life moved on 2 years and i suspect its to do with change due to age and attitudes.
  16. Yes it IS depression. I had the same thing. You don't need to be sobbing into your pillow or looking longingly at a bottle of bleach. Flat mood, loss of pleasure in things you used to enjoy - that's depression. My husband suffered from it and the only real symptom he displayed was incredible rattiness. Snappy and impatient with the kids, utterly unbearable with me.

    It might well be CAUSED by the things you mention. If it's any consolation, my husband just got better. Just as well because I would have left him it had gone on unacknowledged and untreated for much longer.

    There's no need to trudge along not enjoying life. It can be treated.
  17. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    I had my love of life eroded daily about three years ago. A sneak thief, who just drained my very essence, robbed me of who I was and what I thought I was. The thief has gone elsewhere (and doing the same to others by all accounts) and I am slowly, very slowly beginning to start to like life again. There were days when I believed I couldn't even string a coherent sentence together - so I just said nowt. I removed myself from what used to please me. I regret that but I felt I shouldn't be seemingly getting pleasure anymore.

    Things make me laugh again, things make me smile and things make me sad - this is good as for such a long time everything was just 'meh'

    So yes, I do believe you can lose your love of life BUT I also believe/know, it comes back, little by little.

    It still really ticks me off that I've lost three years of my life though - and I think that it is that annoyance that has got me back on track.
  18. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    It's more than possible. It's positively widespread judging by the scowls on some people's faces.

    Just a phase, oldsome. You're essentially a good guy with a sense of humour and a thirst for life. That's the real you. You're going through a bad patch. Could be poor sleep, poor diet, the weather. Could be all sorts of things. But I suspect it'll pass even if you don't get therapy/do some work on your mental state.

    Come on. Three things to be glad about this very morning. Three people to smile at. Three encouraging things to say to others. Fake it and make it. All that stuff.

    You're a sociable fellow so get out there and do your helping others. Find some jolly people and let their energy rub off on you. Get out and about. Don't fester at home. The allotment could be pretty lonely so take flasks of tea and share a lot.

    Treat yourself to a little something. Plan another trip. But I think you need more company. Sorry to say this but your good lady doesn't sound a barrel of laughs and I reckon you could do with a bit of...ahem, stimulating company. A beloved wife of many years can't be expected to be quite as entertaining as she once was. Maybe she's your rock, maybe you're HER rock. I dunno. But fun needs to be on your menu.
  19. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Depression, low mood, whatever you want to call it has many forms. I think the most debilitating thing is to have that complete lack of interest in anything, that loss of momentum that gets you up in the morning ready to begin the day, yes, medication can help, so can talking therapies, but these are very hard to come by these days.

    I think you need a bit of help to get going again Olds, so a GP visit might be worthwhile. A structure for the day helps, I find, although that can be more difficult in retirement as there is no natural shape to the week. Company is essential in my view, but being on your own sometimes is OK too!

    I think we are getting better at recognising mental health issues, but there is definitely still a stigma attached to it and the resources to combat it are woefully limited.

    People may tell you to snap out of it. Believe me, if it was that easy, you would do it in a heartbeat. No one wants to feel low all the time.
  20. tidal

    tidal New commenter

    Whilst I'm not a medic, it certainly sounds like depression Olds (given the way it keeps getting to you)

    But I suspect that we all have at least short periods where we think that life isn't nearly as good as it should be or could be in other circumstances....... I certainly do anyway.

    I regularly sit and wonder whether my life currently has any purpose or real value and the only way I can find out of those periods is to keep busy doing stuff and taking as much pleasure as I can from what I can do.
    Even if it is just small stuff.


    Keep on pottering about mate

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