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Lost libido

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Mrs Mo, Jan 22, 2011.

  1. How do I get my libido back? I'm 48 and going through the menopause (lots of hot flushes and sleepless nights); havent had a period for over 2 years. I just have no interest in "physical" matters anymore and things are getting very strained between me and my OH. It doesnt help that my mum is now living with us; she has the bedroom next to ours and I just find it very off-putting. My OH seems to think I can simply supply sex on demand, not that he "demands" it very often. Maybe I could switch on and off like that once but I just cant do it anymore. I dont know if it is that I dont want it with him, or whether I dont want it at all, with anyone. When we do have sex, I just feel nothing, other than finding it rather uncomfortable.
     
  2. How do I get my libido back? I'm 48 and going through the menopause (lots of hot flushes and sleepless nights); havent had a period for over 2 years. I just have no interest in "physical" matters anymore and things are getting very strained between me and my OH. It doesnt help that my mum is now living with us; she has the bedroom next to ours and I just find it very off-putting. My OH seems to think I can simply supply sex on demand, not that he "demands" it very often. Maybe I could switch on and off like that once but I just cant do it anymore. I dont know if it is that I dont want it with him, or whether I dont want it at all, with anyone. When we do have sex, I just feel nothing, other than finding it rather uncomfortable.
     
  3. You will get it back !!! Is it possible for you to have a week-end away? Whenever our sex life begins to wane we return to a favourite hotel and............. bingo!!

    It must be difficult having your Mother in the next room!! Can you change rooms around at all?

    Sorry haven't been much help. Good luck!!
     
  4. I would say a visit to the GP may help as there may be things they can do to help eg, pessaries to help with dryness and make things more comfortable. The weekend away sounds good as well, relax, maybe a nice massage, dinner, drinks, beautiful room that someone else has to clean.....
    How are your energy levels in general? Just wondering if something more than just libido is up?
     
  5. That is the first thing I noticed when my menopause came suddenly upon me - just not interested. Couldn't care less if it never happened again. Didn't feel the loss at all. You have to consider if trying to look as if you're even faintly interested is for you. I could have faked it indefinitely really because it would have broken my poor little husband's heart to think he was imposing on me, but I understand if other people would find it impossible.
    I started HRT because I couldn't cope with the 4 hot flushes per night and the ensuing zombie-like stupor during the day but the return of libido was a plus, not the reason for taking it. You might try it and see if it works for you.
     
  6. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    You won't get it back, but hang on a bit longer, and your husband will lose his, too. Then you can both get on with some serious reading in bed.
     
  7. For goodness sake lardy, she's only 48. There's 20 or 30 years of fun and games yet to be had.
    Try the GP. The pessaries are a good option for a little, specific dose of hormones. But you might find 6-12 months of HRT to be a great boon - and not just for bedroom antics. That anxiety about mum in the next room is just that, a bit of anxiety. And the occasional weekend or just one overnight after a dinner or theatre outing can be terrific.
     
  8. Thanks guys for your suggestions. Lardy, I'm not ready to totally give up yet, although I do enjoy a good read at night.
    We had some "success" last night...it's put a spring in Mr Mo's step this morning! [​IMG]
     
  9. I know a woman who uses patches to boost her sex drive. I think they have a small amount of testosterone in them but they are designed for post-menopausal women so not too much!
    Might be worth speaking to your gp about all the options?
     
  10. I lose my libido on a regular basis - if 'encouraged' to go and look for it, I have sometimes found it hiding at the bottom of a bottle of wine
    [​IMG]
     
  11. Cheap white wine. Works like a charm.
     
  12. I lose my libido on a regular basis - if 'encouraged' to go and look for
    it, I have sometimes found it hiding at the bottom of a bottle of wine

    Hahahahahharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
    Jeez, just how much stuff can you find at the bottom of a bottle? Apart from a hangover.
     
  13. Libido???? What's one of those? [​IMG]
    I have lost mine, but I haven't gone looking for it! I know I am probably far too young to be writing off a sex life...but....I am not sure I want one any more. When it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure, you get the feeling it's time to pull up the drawbridge and lock the gate. [​IMG]
    I think my man would be friskier if I initiated things, but let's just say on both sides that the spirit is willing (ish...in my case) but the flesh is weak....He is able to amuse himself and doesn't as yet need the little blue pill so often used by men in their fifties. I need several bottles of wine before there is even a spark of lust on my part. And then I spoil any romantic occasion by throwing up because I have over-indulged.
    It isn't meant to be....[​IMG]
     
  14. Jeez, just how much stuff can you find at the bottom of a bottle? Apart from a hangover.
    [​IMG]
    I can sometimes find a fight!
     
  15. arched eyebrow - dorothy rowe's view on this is that, once you have satisfied their curiosity and (if you wished) had a kid or 2, frankly there are more interesting things to do....
    i'm coming round to this view myself
     
  16. satisfied your curiosity
    interesting freudian slip
     
  17. Flora, I have to agree with Dorothy..[​IMG]
    Mind you, I was like a *** on heat when I was younger. [​IMG]
    I wore my first husband out with my demands...or at least initiating things when I am sure he'd have rather rolled over and gone to sleep. I had a very healthy sex life, but as I got older and post menopausal a good book in bed was more appealing than lifting up my nightie.
    Three children down the line and engaged to be married, for me now, knowing I am loved and receiving non-sexual demonstrations of his love is just wonderful. Feeling loved and appreciated is more satisfying and all I need I think. Oh we do have the odd fumble/grope but it's usually fuelled by having more wine than usual of an evening.[​IMG]
     

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