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lost confidence.... help please

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by sincity, May 4, 2011.

  1. Ok this is my first post, ill try and keep it short and sweet. Im in my 2nd and last PGCE placement, I have had a very rocky start to the new school with beign completely overwhelmed by the school its self and followed by a PST who seems out to get me...e.g. giving me unrealistic lessons to plan and giving me alot of negative feedback. This is just a nutshell and I know lots of people hav had the same or worse problems with PST's. (By the way 1st placement I was absolutely loving the job and doing really well!)
    Here's the big thing, for about the last 3 months I have been feelign lower and lower to the point where friends and family have told me to go to the drs. I have today been diagnosed with depression. I never thought this would happen to me but it has.
    I'm terrified of telling the school and haven told my uni tutor yet either. I'm really worried peopel will just think of me differntly and that the school already thinkin Im **** (have completly lost my teaching confidence) I just would like some advice and support if anyone has any? I have been signed off for 2weeks by the doc but not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm worried I wont qualify all the QTS standards now and am terrified of going back to the school.
    Any help, advice would be great
     
  2. lilykitty

    lilykitty New commenter

    The first thing you need to do is contact the Uni. I know this is really hard when you are feeling low, but it's important. Write down what you need to tell them and ask them before you call, and try to write down the things they say (you may find it hard to remember stuff and think 'off the cuff').
    You are viewing depression as a personal failing and weakness. It isn't. You need to find time to look at this link:
    http://www.dep-end.org/cantopher1.htm
    It tells you everything you need to know and understand about depression.
    If possible, I would let the uni deal with your placement school for now. You can't say what will happen in the long-run, so try not to guess (easier said than done, I know). It might be that you will need to re-do your placement in the new academic year, and that may well be for the best (it will give you a chance to get well, you will have a different school, and you will qualify at a different time from all the other students who will be chasing jobs).
    You need to be clear about one thing - depression / anxiety / stress-related illnesses are not rare in teaching. When you apply for jobs and need to fill out a medical form, the medical form is only seen by occupational health (not the school) and they will decide whether you are fit for work based on how you are at that time. You will not be written off because of one incident of depression.
    Therefore, take the time to get better and get some counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy if possible. This will help you manage your thought patterns and build up defences against depression in the future. Don't be dismissive of anti-depressant tablets - they are not happy pills or addictive, they just help address a chemical imbalance in the brain.
    You didn't expect this to happen, but that doesn't mean it won't be OK in the end.
     

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