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Lost and confused

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by 07158422, May 31, 2012.

  1. I am an NQT and whilst trying to secure a teaching position I have been working as a supply teacher. I have finished a long term stint in a school which was difficult. I enjoyed teaching the children (well I think I did) but all of the other pressures of being a teacher made me stressed. Although I am an NQT I was not able to complete any of my induction and although some individuals tried to support me I struggled, although their support was very hap-hazard. I had to finish the placement as I could not cope with the pressures which were placed upon me. I have a history of anxiety and depression and I have been on AD's but I have been off them for a while and I don't want to go back on them. I feel so lost, I don't know what to with myself, whether I want to continue doing supply work whilst I try and find a teaching position or whether to go and do something completly different. My parents have been supportive but I have heard them talking about me behind my back and I feel sick whenever I think about the situation. I know that sometimes the best option is to 'get back on the horse' but I feel very anxious about this. If I chose to take time out from teaching and do something else but then wanted to come back to teaching would this cause a problem? I feel so lost and confused at the moment, I wish I could sort myself out. My head feels muddled, I get up in the morning and feel ok but by the afternoon I feel sick, nervous and tired.
    I hope someone understands.
     
  2. I am an NQT and whilst trying to secure a teaching position I have been working as a supply teacher. I have finished a long term stint in a school which was difficult. I enjoyed teaching the children (well I think I did) but all of the other pressures of being a teacher made me stressed. Although I am an NQT I was not able to complete any of my induction and although some individuals tried to support me I struggled, although their support was very hap-hazard. I had to finish the placement as I could not cope with the pressures which were placed upon me. I have a history of anxiety and depression and I have been on AD's but I have been off them for a while and I don't want to go back on them. I feel so lost, I don't know what to with myself, whether I want to continue doing supply work whilst I try and find a teaching position or whether to go and do something completly different. My parents have been supportive but I have heard them talking about me behind my back and I feel sick whenever I think about the situation. I know that sometimes the best option is to 'get back on the horse' but I feel very anxious about this. If I chose to take time out from teaching and do something else but then wanted to come back to teaching would this cause a problem? I feel so lost and confused at the moment, I wish I could sort myself out. My head feels muddled, I get up in the morning and feel ok but by the afternoon I feel sick, nervous and tired.
    I hope someone understands.
     
  3. dominant_tonic

    dominant_tonic Established commenter

    Hi. I am in the same situation,doing supplywhile waiting for a seemingly mythical inductable post. :) First of all, don't be to harsh. Depite what other people may say, supply is difficult, and in tough schools, can be near impossible. I have done a few long term stints, one amazingly brilliant, one absolutely awful. Don't give yourself a hard time over it, it is difficult.
    From a practical point of view, here's what I would do/have done.
    1) Toughen up, and put the responsibility whre it should be. Don't go down the 'I'm scared of looking like I can't cope if I throw them out of the class, send them to another teacher, ask/telephone for help etc.The school I was in I called SMT at least once a day, usually twice, and sent at least one child to another teacher every single lesson. It doesn't make you look weak, it lets the kids you mean business.
    2) Think about what you found difficult. Priroritising of workload, actually planning lessons, following the routine, discpiline. Once you know that you are half way there. Next time you go into a school, find out about this thing, whichever it is, and ask where you would go to get support with it, or pop to the office when you are struggling, see if they ahev anyone who will help you.
    3) Find out if your agency provide any courses in this area, or if any schools in the area have someone whoruns insets etc on it.
    4) Maybe go for TA experience for more regular work? I was never a wilting flower in the classroom from day one, having already worked in schools for 5 years beforehand, so the environment was not new for me. However a few on our PGCE really struggled with this, having not been inside a school sonce leaving at 16.At least with TA work you get to watch teachers at work, and loads and loads of styles and things you can observe.
    5) Don't do it if it will make you ill - maybe ask a school if you can go in and work with them until the summer on a voluntary basis, just to get more used to things?
    I hope you sort it out - I know the feeling well :) Just make sure it is not a knee jerk reaction to a difficult placement. I cried on the way home from mine for the first week, and again for the last week when I decided to give it up. It's difficult. Can be almost impossible. I thing 'regular' teachers forget this, but we know different.
    Chin up, enjoy alf term, and PM me if I can help at all. xxxxx

     
  4. andersoncouncil

    andersoncouncil New commenter

    Always keep in your mind you are supply, the school and the agency think of you as a supply teacher and if either one wish to move you on they can, no loyalty, no gratitude. You do what they pay you for and go home. Try not to worry about too much. The idea that teachers should be some sort of selfless angels winds me up and makes genuine and caring people run themselves into the ground. It isn't a calling from God, it is a job.
    Never ever take anything that kids do or say personally. They don't know you, so it isn't a dig at you, just at the authority figure at the front of the room. It is even worse on supply, as you are only a temporary feature and they know you will disappear in a relatively short space of time. Never shy away from calling for help, having offenders removed etc you are not employed to put up with it, you are there to teach.
    Sorry if all of this comes across a bit prescriptive or cynical, sometimes a bit of perspective helps. I usually find when I am ready to snap a brief inspection of my wage slip reminds me of my level of responsibility in the process (and glancing at the leadership scale for a stark comparison just after is another timely reminder).
    Oh and if teaching and the school environment is making you feel terrible remember you haven't signed up for life, no buy out necessary, there are other careers, jobs and roles to apply for and there is no shame in saying this isn't for me if it is a choice between education and mental well being, take care of yourself.
    Take care of yourself, I'm sending hugs too!
     

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