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Losing the will.....

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Sparky1985, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. A bit of a moan really.
    i have always loved my job but lately its just getting me down. No matter how much I work I never seem to get through it all. No matter how early I get in I never seem to get any time to work undisturbed. Its doing my head in and seriously draggin me down.
    I just wondered if others sometimes felt the same. Ive only been teaching for 6 years....I thought Id be doing it for at least 20!!! If I continue to feel like this I wont even last 7...
     
  2. A bit of a moan really.
    i have always loved my job but lately its just getting me down. No matter how much I work I never seem to get through it all. No matter how early I get in I never seem to get any time to work undisturbed. Its doing my head in and seriously draggin me down.
    I just wondered if others sometimes felt the same. Ive only been teaching for 6 years....I thought Id be doing it for at least 20!!! If I continue to feel like this I wont even last 7...
     
  3. lighthouse_keeper

    lighthouse_keeper New commenter

    I feel exactly the same.
    I have loads of work in my bag that needs doing but I'm sitting on the sofa reading the TES because I haven't got the strength to open my bag and get all the essays out / my planner out / think about all the things that aren't planning or marking and yet have to be done during my school day.
    If teaching were simply "teach" and "mark the work" I think I'd be ok, but there is so much emotional exhaustion in teaching. I try to be a good person and take a personal interest in every student, but sometimes I think I have no time left for personal interest in myself, and find myself working all night and weekend, which then leaves me feeling drained and depressed. I find being a form tutor exhausting. We have an endless list of things to do, I inevitably forget one each day and then spend the rest of the day feeling useless / incapable - when you think "I'll be a teacher", you do not realise you're signing up to be a SEN specialist, a GCSE options advisor, a behavioural psychologist, a counsellor, an extra parent, a target setter and motivator, a cleaner (I spend hours each week tidying up after kids), a supplier of stationery (I know I shouldn't lend it out but if I want them to work...), a secretary, a lunch-time supervisor....oh I could think of more but my brain won't work! And I never seem to be able to complete any task. I feel like I'm constantly working on about 30 projects, without finishing anything. In rare free periods, I don't know where to start. Today I taught all day then had back to back meetings til 5. Now I'm home I'm just so exhausted I don't know what to do with myself. I considered just crawling into bed and sleeping til morning.
    I think we suffer in teaching because everyone not in teaching thinks we only work 9-3 and have loads of holidays - which, ironically, are just a chance to catch up on all the work you've got. My friends tell me "it's only a job" when I feel stressed. I don't think teaching is "only a job" because it's hard to ever switch off. I was on a school trip all weekend; whilst I love the kids and helping them have great experiences like that, I had no time for planning or marking and this week is a complete washout now. I had an observation period 1 monday and it's been downhill since then...
    So Sparky, I know exactly where you're coming from. Sometimes I wonder if an "office job" wouldn't be a better option, but then when I'm loving my job, I couldn't imagine being stuck behind a desk. Swings and roundabouts I guess...
    Only 3 days to go til half term.
     
  4. Had I the energy these are all things Iwould have written. I love my job deep down- the kids are amazing...I have been truly blessed the last three years with three classes I love (Im primary) but the rest is just too much at times. I am very good at what I do and I know that (not in an arrogant way) but people constantly pop in for "5min" for help and its like Picadilly Circus all the time. I have no prob helping others- its how I learned but people where I work seem to need to be spoonfed. I feel like im doing all the work, handing over all the resources that I have spend hours making etc and then I get loads of kids sent to me for behaviour and I still have all my own work to do. No one ever seems to think ahead e.g. with the snow and ice and its impact on school etc.
    I just get p'd off with it....I work and work and work and seem to always be catchin my tail. I regularly work 60-70hrs a week and while I know the kids appreciate it Im drained physically, mentally, emotionally and I come home and have no energy to do anything.
    I feel like life is passing me by to be honest. I just get so down about it all....I came home today and had a good cry before calling my Mom for a vent and another cry. Then I had a nap as I was so exhausted.
    Sorry for the moan but feel so down about it all at the minute.


     
  5. lighthouse_keeper

    lighthouse_keeper New commenter

    I cried as well. All the things that frustrated me today were little things on their own, but together just made me feel like ****.
    It's a hard job and we deserve our holidays.
    It always seems to be the teachers that care the most that seem to get all the ****. I have come across some really lazy teachers who never seem stressed, but I couldn't do the job without putting my all in; it's kids' futures we have in our hands...the emotional pressure is huge.
     
  6. GeeMarie

    GeeMarie New commenter

    Hi, I'm training at the moment and everything you are saying is resonating with me hugely.
    I have so much work to do, and when I look at my to-do list (I'm a list person) I get so de-motviated that... well, here I am. My lessons for the day are ready to go, it's the training stuff I need to sort out.
    People warned me this would be tough, but no one told me quite what I was getting into- the emotional challenge being faced is one I've never experienced before. I keep wondering what I've let myself in for by going into a career where you never switch off. And you don't- my Dad is a teacher, Mother-in-law is a teacher, and they are always thinking about school, and doing something. I don't know why I didn't think about it more, I just thought- I love the students, surely that's enough? I hope it is enough to get me through but sometimes I wonder.
     

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