1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

London... advice please

Discussion in 'Personal' started by DottyLou, Aug 17, 2009.

  1. I have a relatively relaxed non-school based teaching job which, although in ways is beginning to bore me, is not very stressful and quite secure. I know I can do it well and maintain good balances in my life. I have my own good sized home and great friends and live in a civilised community with access to the arts and the countryside.

    I've fallen in love with someone who is based in central London and has to be there for work reasons; this man is amazing. I'm no spring chicken at 49 and know the value of a truly satisfying partnership - I can't let this go, it's too special. I'm also a grounded realist who is scared almost senseless at the idea of upping and leaving. It will mean working towards moving from a comfortable house with a garden to a small urban flat, getting used to living with someone again after years alone, a considerable change in work and having to make a new set of friends. It excites me but terrifies me.

    Is teaching in central London hugely different from the leafy shires? Do any of you enjoy it? I'm not scared of hard work, just worried about the kind of stress that makes you wide-eyed and helpless at 4am.
     
  2. I have a relatively relaxed non-school based teaching job which, although in ways is beginning to bore me, is not very stressful and quite secure. I know I can do it well and maintain good balances in my life. I have my own good sized home and great friends and live in a civilised community with access to the arts and the countryside.

    I've fallen in love with someone who is based in central London and has to be there for work reasons; this man is amazing. I'm no spring chicken at 49 and know the value of a truly satisfying partnership - I can't let this go, it's too special. I'm also a grounded realist who is scared almost senseless at the idea of upping and leaving. It will mean working towards moving from a comfortable house with a garden to a small urban flat, getting used to living with someone again after years alone, a considerable change in work and having to make a new set of friends. It excites me but terrifies me.

    Is teaching in central London hugely different from the leafy shires? Do any of you enjoy it? I'm not scared of hard work, just worried about the kind of stress that makes you wide-eyed and helpless at 4am.
     
  3. I suppose it will all depend on where you are teaching, what you are teaching and what you are 'used to' in comparison to what you are 'expecting'.
     
  4. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Consider him staying in London through the week and living together at weekends and during the holidays?
     
  5. He has a little son who lives four hours away, and rightly goes to see him every second weekend as it is, so we are limited to the non-son weekends when he doesn't have work commitments. Neither of us wants to go on like this indefinitely.

    I'm secondary, by the way, EBD/SEN specialism.
     
  6. I'm about to start in what looks like a decent South Central school... I could wire reports from the chalk-face?
     
  7. Oooo, yes please. Would be appreciated.
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    May I say that you don't sound particularly grounded or realistic to me. Don't up sticks and leave everything you value for a man who it seems has baggage. It's too big a risk. Think about it for longer. Relationships like the one you have that are conducted at a distance and where you meet only on alternate weekends often seem attractive in an 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' way. But what are the chances of it working if you have to give up so much in order to be together all the time?
    I have to say too that at your age you will be perimenopausal and might find that the menopause would put stress on a new relationship.That perhaps will be change enough without the move you are considering.
     
  9. I appreciate your point - but I have been living alone for 10 years having backed out of another relationship in the past to be sensible and am not going into this lightly or thoughtlessly; he is as perfect for me as I could possibly hope for but I do know it is a huge risk. Work isn't the most important thing in my life, nor is having a big house. I haven't decided what to do yet. I do feel I am being realistic, but also think that some risks can be taken in life which are not irreversable. I could carry on as I am here for years being reasonably content for the rest of my working life, but I don't think that's what I am quite ready to do.

    I do feel concerned about facing menopausal changes but don't honestly know what they might entail. Perhaps I should do some research. I am not going to do anything in a mad hurry - agree with you there.
     
  10. If it's anything like my mum...it entails being a complete and utter b*tch without realising, getting angry and emotional over trivial things and being p*ssed off with everyone because she is so hot!
     
  11. Oh lord! Does it have to be like that? I'm a sweetheart usually!

    HRT, methinks.
     
  12. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    What is it about this thread that makes me wonder if it isn't another wind up?
     
  13. My mum is the most wonderful person in the world, but since she started to change I spend a lot more time out of the house! (our tempers are too alike)
     
  14. I'm not sure, because its not (not that I can prove that to you, of course.) And I would genuinely appreciate advice about teaching in London. It's probably the vagueness of the query. I'm having what I am beginning to suspect is a perimenopausal day.
     
  15. You sound like a lovely daughter, most understanding. My daughter is in London; one good thing about perhaps moving there would be being able to see a little more of her.
     
  16. What are your opinions/expectations on living and teaching in london?
     
  17. A greater turnover in staff because of the higher cost of living, which could impact on stability generally for students perhaps; gangs are an issue in the area he lives, and I can't imagine that wouldn't have an impact; variable local authority support... I'm not sure really. I think the staff turnover thing worries me the most - I love working for an established supportive team with friendly and competent management. On the plus side, I enjoy diversity and would love to unleash my dynamic side again after a year or so of feeling a bit stagnent. I'd like to think that being part of a team who are changing a school for the better could be possible. You don't hear much about the positives of working in London out here but there must be some!

     
  18. Which borough would you be moving to, if you did?
     
  19. Camden.

    Are you London Based?
     
  20. No, but I used to work with schools in Westminster :)
     

Share This Page