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Linguistic howlers exchange

Discussion in 'Modern foreign languages' started by OTTER, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. They are always so good for a laugh.
    Here are two of my all time favourites.
    Ils jouent au grillon avec une chauvesouris et un ballon.
    That always reminds me of an Alice in Wonderland illustration.
    Then the magnificent;
    Tengo haba a España.
  2. Translates as
    They play cricket (the insect) with a bat (the flying type) and a ball.
    I have (but not the verb used as the auxiliary) bean (goes into stews) to Spain
  3. Geekie

    Geekie Occasional commenter

    One of my favourites is:
    "Julio Arca y sus muchos ventiladores"
    (It's the wrong sort of fans, people)
  4. chickenkiev

    chickenkiev New commenter

    - Si on va à la mairie, on peut rencontrer la jument (= 'the mare', presumably meaning 'the mayor').
    - je n'aime pas laver haut (washing up).
    - j'ai une piscine avec un plongeon conseil (it took me 30 minutes to recognise that it was a diving BOARD!)
  5. Am Wochenende hatte ich ein Netball-Streichholz. (Was supposed to mean match. It does. But the one you light candles with ;-))
    Ich habe für meine Familie Gifte gekauft. (Gift = poison; the poor girl asked me three times afterwards if I really believed her she bought presents and didn't want to kill all her family. Bless her :))
    Ich stehe um 7 Uhr auf. Dann frühstücke ich mich. (I get up at 7. Then I eat myself for breakfast. They had been doing reflexive verbs for some lessons and suddenly believed everything was reflexive :D).
  6. westnab

    westnab New commenter

    Dans ma chambre j'ai une salle vivante. Always makes me smile. (I assumed google was responsible for the adjectival ending!)
    I always remember my own French teacher telling us 6th formers his favourite, which I cannot beat...
    Je wrinkle mon vélo.
    Get it? Wrong side of the dictionary - un ride = a wrinkle!
  7. voy a ser espalda a las siete (I am going to be back (anatomical) at 7)
    bebo dos gafas de agua por día (I drink 2 glasses (spectacles) of water per day)
    Over the years they just get better - thanks to Controlled Assessments I look forward to even more gems!!
    una cerilla de grillo (a cricket (bug) match (for striking)
    et al
    I blame the teacher....whoops that's me!
  8. "Je vélomoteur la cuisine" - I think they tried to type "I mopped the kitchen" into a translater.... and instead typed "Moped" (ie. little noisy motorbike thing).
  9. Mistakes are easily made....
  10. Incommunicado

    Incommunicado Established commenter

    A dictionary-user once came up with "le garcon rayon" - the boy spoke.
  11. chriszwinter1

    chriszwinter1 New commenter

    "Am Abend sind wir Knüppel gegangen." Fortunately, the clubbing she actually had in mind wasn't as violent as what she'd written.
  12. jubileebabe

    jubileebabe New commenter

    I have posted this in another thread already but...
    From an Italian students of English: "I will wear a red rose in my bottom hole."
    Funniest thing about the incident was that the lesson was being observed and the observer burst into uncontrollable laughter after unsuccessfully trying to stifle her giggles. Luckily the student also saw the funny side when she was told what she had said!
  13. jubileebabe

    jubileebabe New commenter

    Sorry, should have been student instead of students.
  14. fionarh

    fionarh New commenter

    Je n'aime pas les gens avec deux visages
    J'ai beaucoup de futur maman (I assume high expectations!)
    Lots of (vt) (see) (n) copied from dictionary
    I do dictionary work - honestly!
  15. Cestrian

    Cestrian New commenter

    Je suis alambic au collège = I am still (the sort you use to make whisky) at school
    Kittel war mein Arbeitspraktikum interessant = Overall (the sort you wear for work) my work experience was interesting
  16. noemie

    noemie Occasional commenter

    Although on the plus side they got the verb position right! I don't think my Y11 ever got the hang of it!
  17. Bungie

    Bungie Occasional commenter

    GCSE Spanish role play.
    "Ring your Spanish penfriend and tell him you won't be able to stay with him this summer".
    Pedro no podré acostarme contigo este verano.
  18. Quite a few years back a student ended his conclusion about his school (writing coursework) "mi colegio es alto platano".......my school is top banana....
  19. Oh dear, bungie :D. That's one of the best ones I've ever heard :D. What did the pupil say when you told them what it meant?
  20. rosaespanola

    rosaespanola New commenter

    One of my Y11 French students, when describing a holiday, wanted to say "me and my brother played in the swimming pool all day". She wrote "moi et mon frere avons <u>joui</u> dans la piscine toute la journee". One letter can make such a terrifying difference to a sentence...

    (joui = past participle of the verb jouir, which can mean "to enjoy", but can also mean "to have an orgasm". I didn't tell her what her sentence could have meant.)

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