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Lil's handy household hints

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lilachardy, Dec 2, 2006.

  1. silkywave

    silkywave Senior commenter

    Although not an expert at ironing, it does take me a while to realise that I’ve turned the iron off and have been ironing for twenty minutes without much success.
    Noja, colpee, thistledoo and 4 others like this.
  2. josienig

    josienig Senior commenter

    Leave a very small uncapped bottle of oil on top of your fridge and knock it over unbeknownst to yourself..a little oil goes a long way and makes a slippery mess o_O
  3. guinnesspuss

    guinnesspuss Star commenter

    Don't slow cook a ham joint in fruity cider.
    It tasted revolting - the pea and ham soup I made from it tasted revolting. :(
    At least three potential meals wasted.
    Noja, colpee and thistledoo like this.
  4. silkywave

    silkywave Senior commenter

    Test new cermic tiled kitchen flooring by dropping shopping on the floor as usual. See how far balsamic vinegar drizzle under the fridge. See how far it goes children. And how long it takes to remove black mess.
  5. silkywave

    silkywave Senior commenter

    Find both you and mouse are sat watching strictly. Find mouse trap. After several attempts where it’s aim is to catch your fingers set the trap. Hear it go off in the night. In the morning find no mouse and no chocolate.
    Go and get a humane trap instead and snickers bar.
    colpee, thistledoo and guinnesspuss like this.
  6. silkywave

    silkywave Senior commenter

    Reminding me of Tom and Jerry!
  7. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    Be kind to beggar by buying him soup from coffee shop. Wait 15mins for said coffee cup filled with extremely hot soup. Retrace steps to hand over soup only to find he has gone.
    Walk up and down high street to find someone else to benefit but to no avail.
    Decide to talke it home with you but just do quick shop in Sainsbury’s. When returning trolley decide that coffee cup of soup will fit nicely next to bottle of wine to enable retrieval of £ coin.
    Try not to swear too loudly as top exposes very hot soup and spills it into bag which also contains 2 boxed craft gifts for granddaughters
    Quickly extract soup with burnt hand and find tissues to clean boxes and covered bottle of wine.
    Eventually make it home to clean gifts more thoroughly in the hope they don’t smell on Christmas morning, heat up remainder of very tasty lentil soup.

    Moral - give the buggars money to buy their own soup
    Noja, silkywave, HelpMe- and 5 others like this.
  8. thistledoo

    thistledoo Senior commenter

    Do not put a dust sheet down when you painting (your sooo good you don't drip), move the tin around with you so it's easy to dab the brush in... at the end of the skirting board - look back - to find lots of little white marks from a blob of paint on the bottom rim of the tin.
    Best of all, go to get a baby wipe to do a bit of 'removing' and ensure you step in a blob of the paint and make a double row of paint splodges right around the room!
    Icing on the cake, furiously rub at the splodges so you knock the brush off the top of the tin.
  9. bonxie

    bonxie Established commenter

    This one is courtesy of my oldest. The thought process went something like this:
    • I'm thirsty.
    • Fruit is good for you.
    • I wonder what prune juice tastes like. I'll buy a litre bottle.
    • Mmm, I like it a lot so I'll finish the whole lot.
    • OMG my guts!
    • Never again.
  10. guinnesspuss

    guinnesspuss Star commenter

    When using vacuum bags for your bedding, leave them where your plastic munching cat can chew the corner. That way you can keep getting the vacuum out of the cupboard.
    lindenlea likes this.
  11. Trekkie

    Trekkie Occasional commenter

    When removing a hefty jar of 'beef extract' from the kitchen cupboard, make sure to drop it centrally on to a china plate. The high velocity shard spearing the top of your (bare) foot will serve as a reminder to wear slippers during dangerous kitchen activities.
    guinnesspuss and lindenlea like this.
  12. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    This is another handy hint.
    More accidents are caused by pieces of paper on the floor than by chainsaws.
  13. Tartuffe

    Tartuffe Occasional commenter

    When hanging up Christmas Lights on outside guttering of a bungalow, don't get the ladder out. Stand on two breeze blocks so that when you stretch too far and lose your balance you pull down a stretch of guttering and have a refreshing shower from the water in the gutter.
    guinnesspuss, bonxie and lindenlea like this.
  14. Tartuffe

    Tartuffe Occasional commenter

    Also don't store the timer plug with the lights so that you buy a new one so that you don;t6 have to manually switch the lights on. Then find out that you stored the original timer plug next to the socket you normally plug the lights in.
    Noja, guinnesspuss and lindenlea like this.
  15. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Fun times eh Tartuffe!
    guinnesspuss likes this.
  16. Tartuffe

    Tartuffe Occasional commenter

    Christmas and the build up seem to offer lots of exciting opportunities!!
    guinnesspuss likes this.
  17. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    When queuing for 20 mins in the post office and you finally get to the desk..... Do make sure you've written the address on the parcel.:rolleyes:
    Noja and guinnesspuss like this.
  18. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    lilachardy likes this.
  19. nqt04

    nqt04 New commenter

    Ignore the increasing aroma of hot oil in the pan, and continue to share your holiday snaps with your mother.

    Admire the dexterity with which she grasps - with her hand! - then releases the metal handle of the pan on the redhot hob; gasp in wonder as flames leap up from the spilt oil ...

    As you deal with the greasy mess on the worktop, the hob and the floor, wonder how she has survived to 91.
    guinnesspuss and emerald52 like this.
  20. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    To get rid of a dry Christmas tree feed it into a coal fire while alone with three young children. Carry the local conflagration to the back door setting fire to curtains and roasting hands. Refuse to go to accident and emergency for several hours after husband comes home.

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