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Lil's handy household hints

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lilachardy, Dec 2, 2006.

  1. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Yes, because it's slightly abbrasive.
     
  2. Elfie - Bathroom cleaner designed to work on limescale also works well, as does lemon juice. (Both contain the same acid....)
     
  3. pour vinegar and leave for abit...then wash sink and drain area with luke warm water while scrubing.....very clean limescale free sink you shall have. :))
     
  4. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Invite your whole department over on the first day of the holidays.

    This will ensure you do sufficient cleaning beforehand.
     
  5. Why not tell yr8 that their end of term treat is to clean your house...just like on the telly?
     
  6. silkywave

    silkywave Occasional commenter

    go away for a few days and leave family to cope for themselves. be assured that everything will be as it was before you left except washing up on every available surface.
     
  7. Make sure when you sell items on e-bay that you set the pay pal details to an in-active accout, this will ensure loads of stress and also make you look like a dodgy seller as you suddenly ask for alternative payment methods!
     
  8. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Be eco-friendly:

    Don't strim the edges of your grass against a fence or wall.
    Leave it as a "Wildlife Corridor" and if your friends think you are making excuses, tell them about the toad you saw there once.
     
  9. Re post 113

    Then next year you can put up a sign saying

    "This entire garden is devoted to the preservation of wildlife"

    You may never have to garden again
     
  10. When your daughter balances a full bowl of cornflakes on her table mat to walk from the kitchen to the dining room, and drops the whole lot on the floor 15 minutes before leaving for school, ensure that while mopping up she kneels IN the cornflakes and milk in order to spread the mess across the carpet breaking it all into smaller, more manageable chunks of mush!
     
  11. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    When you intend to paint your bathroom blue, buy a bumper pack of Natural Blush toilet paper, because it'll look truly terrible.
     
  12. When you break your garden brrom, make sure you shower to clean yourself up before going to buy a new one. Then, make sure you make sure you buy a brush that is too small to fit the broom shank so that you end up kneeling in the dirt on your hands and knees sweeping up the mess you left.

    To top this, then have a neighbours dog come and poo in the middle of your lovely clean patio.

    (Just in case anyone is wondering, the poo is now sitting on her step on a little plastic bag. It will welcome her home when she returns from work tonight.)
     
  13. when you are dismantling your mums old shed, decide the easiest way to demolish it is to use an axe.

    when you have hacked the door, roof and one wall to bits, then decide it would be a great idea to burn the chopped bits in the middle of the shed.

    when one of the walls catches fire, race round the garden looking for tubs with rainwater in.

    when this isnt enough, get out hosepipe fast.
    watch in horror as two walls begin to burn despite being watered with hose

    watch shed burn for 4 hours

    reassure nosey neighbour that this all part of plan.
    wet self every time a siren sounds nearby.

    spend half an hour watering charcoal hoping it will cool down

    continue black sneezes for evening.

    next day cut down all the plants you have killed
     
  14. When you buy a new iron, turn it on and apply it to black linen trousers before checking whether the plate has a protective plastic film on it.
     
  15. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    When making a cup of tea, the tea bag is an essential element.
     
  16. grandelf

    grandelf New commenter

    When making rice, always forget to check the rice still has water in it, and do NOT I repeat DO NOT add any oil to the wok that was ONCE non stick....
     
  17. make sure that the door on your washing machine is not properly shut when you go out shopping, that way you too can come home to a clean kitchen floor and somewhat soggy lounge carpet
     
  18. Forget to turn one of the taps off before leaving for a weeks holiday. Wait in dreaded anticipation for the bill, as am on water meter.(Just got back today!)
     
  19. oooops
     
  20. Decide to reroof your now rented out garage roof when visiting the area on holiday.

    Having taken the felt off, and after discovering the underlying chipboard is rotten, try to lift off at least half of the old boards before getting stuck and having to call in a bloke friend.

    Then while he is still around, and trying to catch a girlie out, get wobbly while walking on the joists that you have been happily running around on before and fall across 3 onto your back.

    For extra fun, when laying the fresh felt and cold-bitumen adhesive onto your newly laid boards (all on your own) - forget to put any sunscreen on one crucial spot..... the jeans - t-shirt gap: and have to walk around for the rest of your holiday sitting down very carefully....
     

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