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Lil's handy household hints

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lilachardy, Dec 2, 2006.

  1. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    1. Don't take tissues out of pockets, put the tissues in the machine and the trousers on the floor.

    2. Take socks down for the first load, so you can put all the ones you drop on the stairs in with the second load.

    Care to add any?
  2. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    1. Don't take tissues out of pockets, put the tissues in the machine and the trousers on the floor.

    2. Take socks down for the first load, so you can put all the ones you drop on the stairs in with the second load.

    Care to add any?
  3. Computer tip!

    Memory sticks will break if you lean on them while they are still in the side of the laptop. Destroying ALL your planning and assessments for the year.
  4. Another computer tip. To completely ruin your laptop and incur your head's wrath as you enter a very tight budget year, simply pour a cup of tes over your keyboard, then drop onto the floor.

    Wait 8 months for a replacement and incur envy of the rest of the staff who have old style laptops with no dvd drive :)
  5. *cup of tea* sorry.

    I wonder what a cup of TES would look like....?
  6. When being ultra-efficient and cleaning up after cooking ensure that when washing up put in plenty of bubbles and put all sharp knives in the water.

    Like russian roulette.
  7. when trying to get rid of a mouse in the kitchen put chocolate spread in a humane trap. That way your dog springs the trap while attempting to lick out the bait and keeps you awake half the night clattering round the kitchen trying to release her tongue.
  8. CJL

    CJL New commenter

    *always remove glasses before toilet cleaning*

    when cleaning the loo do not forget to swish with the brush with so much springtime energy that the cleaning fluid removes all germs and limescale from your eye. Just one splash will do!

  9. When using your George Foreman style 'health grill' to cook sausages, ensure that you leave the drip tray in the cupboard and check progress of the food by pressing yourself against the edge of the kitchen worktop in your freshly laundered clothes. Linen shirts are particularly effective at mopping up congealed fat.
    silkywave likes this.
  10. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Don't leave bowls you mended with sellotape in soak.
  11. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    When eating curry or something equally stain-making, remember to wear your palest clothes.
  12. When multi-tasking by polishing the hall table whilst on the phone to your mother don't forget to spray the table ( and surrounding floor area ) well with silicon polish, bring table up to a good shine rub; absent-mindedly rub polish into floor with your socked feet; say goodbye to your mother then watch in amazement as your pets slither and slide down the hall and leave dog and cat shaped dents in the front door! Thank the Lord it was them and not your OH.
    silkywave likes this.
  13. When you get soaked from walking in the rain, leave the jacket that you wear to work in a heap on the kitchen floor.

    Rush around like a mad thing the following morning to find something suitably dry to wear and eventually settle on your gardening fleece.
  14. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    dont fall off the ladder into the hedge when you are trying to trim the hedge.
  15. Noja

    Noja Senior commenter

    When mopping the floor, try not to go backwards and get stuck at the end with no way out other than to walk on wet but clean floor. Also, when pouring your fourth large glass of red wine from a box, make sure you have glass clearly under the nozzle before you press it or your clean floor becomes stained...
    silkywave likes this.
  16. When dressed and ready to go out for that important event, decide that you have just enough time to do those few dirty dishes. Make sure you leave a plastic tub in the bowl whilst filling it with water. This will then float under the running tap causing water to spray everywhere for that attractive 'just stepped out of the shower fully clothed' look. This particularly effective when you have spent ages getting ready, have nothing else to wear and your lift rings on the doorbell!
  17. If you have ever been bored on a long-haul flight, remember this: the injuries sustained at regular intervals down your spine from falling down the stairs can play a vital role in providing extraordinary pain when trying to adjust seat-belt and a complete inability to operate the overhead lockers, as well as contributing to a refreshing lack of sleep during the journey!
  18. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    don't forget when you wash the kitchen floor to let the cat in before you go out. this way you will have a floor that matches your car - covered in muddy pud marks.
  19. Noja

    Noja Senior commenter

    Similarly, when you leave your oh to paint the kitchen floor, make sure you remind him to shut the door when finished - otherwise the whole house gets red cat prints on every floor and surface...
  20. household tips from my auxiliary...

    decide to wear flip flops
    note chipped toe nail polish
    paint toe nails
    note you have gone over edge a bit
    search for cotton bud
    drop bottle of polish
    wipe up polish with handy face cloth
    note then a vertical purple stripe of purple nail polish up leg.
    spend 20 mins looking for polish remover. give up. scrub off with previous face cloth.
    go to school with leg that appears covered in varicose veins.
    arrive at school to have colleague point out your white shirt has coffee stains down one breast.
    whilst using baby wipes to clean shirt flash bra at colleagues.
    when finished ensured half of shirt has become strangely see through...

    ...then start your school day

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