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“Letter to my lazy wife”

Discussion in 'Personal' started by silkywave, Feb 2, 2019.

  1. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Same here but Maleficent forgot.
  2. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    Don't @peakster , when you are old and decrepit and start weeing the bed she will be there to look after you. :D
  3. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    My daughter has been very clear about it. I needn't expect 5 star treatment.
  4. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    it's a strange adjustment, isn't it? We're so used to footing the bill when eating out with our girls, but since I retired their income (combined with their partner's) is higher than ours. Recently we ate out with our younger daughter, her boyfriend, his sister and his parents and he (the boyfriend) footed the entire bill, as a late additional Christmas present. It was a kind gesture, but it felt odd to let the young man pay.

    I sometimes meet my younger daughter (aged 24) for a pizza when she finishes work. I still instinctively expect to pay for her. She argues that she earns more than me now and wants to foot the bill, or at least pay her half. I then argue that she has to pay a ridiculous amount of rent per month, whereas our mortgage is paid off, and that I'll pay. I find it really hard to let it go. I am in a period of adjustment which is difficult to get used to.
  5. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    That is hard. We tend to split the bill with daughter and husband for a meal out, though I often end up paying for coffees and snacks with daughter and grandchildren. She does offer to pay though.
    Mangleworzle and smoothnewt like this.
  6. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    If you are going to exceed the tax free inheritance allowance then it is tax efficient to pay?
    Weald56 and emerald52 like this.
  7. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    We had this before: whats yours is hers, and whats hers is her own! How long you been her pet? You should know this by now. (Free couple counselling ;))
  8. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Very sympathetically treated. You are right, of course.
  9. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Star commenter

    This hits the nail on the head for me.
    My own parents have quite openly admitted that they need to get rid of some of their money. So if we go out for a meal they pay and I let them. It feels a bit weird and I feel quite guilty about it but I think it's better than going to the tax man. I wish though that they had spent it on themselves when they were younger and healthy and could have enjoyed it instead of feeling that they had to scrimp and save. I suppose it's how they were brought up. I know they would have liked to have done a world cruise but somehow they just couldn't bring themselves to be so extravagant. Instead it will go as tax.
    cissy3, emerald52 and Weald56 like this.
  10. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    In my case iIfeel annoyed and upset that I don't have cash spare to treat my family.
    The son lives with us and pays his way, but still, there is never enough cash to have big surpluses.
    Living on a pension is no fun at times, and it's not as if you go wild and spend a lot.
    As a man, I was brought up to pay my share and from the age of 15I contributed all my wages into the home of my parent and had pocket money. It wasn't until I was about 25 years old this changed. However, when I did have cash burning a hole in my pocket I was over generous and often spent on my hobbies and interests. Being a builder meant some of that cash was available.
    Then I married at around 30years of age and all our money was pooled and my wife has been a godsend as she managed all our finances!
  11. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    The twin threats of running out of life or money first make it difficult to balance.

    My parents were better off in retirement than they had been their whole lives, partly as they still scrimped and saved as they ever had done, I remember being quite shocked when I saw my dad had taken to buying ready grated cheese! They could have bought more and treated themselves far more than they ever did, but having some money gave them a peace of mind that they had never had in pretty much a hand-to-mouth existence.
    silkywave, cissy3 and emerald52 like this.
  12. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    There are ways around this. How do you think all the rich people hold onto their money. I wouldn't know where to get "tax planning" as I fear there are more shysters out there than legits. I investigated some stuff when my mother had to go into a home, and had to pay pending sale of her house. That leaves you with almost nothing under current rules. They can claw back "gifts", but there are tax rules about something to do with gifts given over seven years ago, and there is an amount you can give that would not be subject to tax. I do not blame anyone for trying to limit tax liabilities (in these circumstances), because the threshold is way too low in some places. It depends how much money you have to play with. Personally I have never had much.
    agathamorse and cissy3 like this.
  13. florian gassmann

    florian gassmann Star commenter

    You might be surprised at how much some of us prefer saving to spending. ;)
    But we have given away quite large amounts to our three children in the last 13 years, in order for them to avoid inheritance tax. If we should need money for a care home, we have substantial equity in our current house.

    I cringe at the thought of any sort of cruise. Not my idea of pleasure. I have a friend who loves dressing up in a penguin suit for dinner and watching third-rate entertainment in the ship's theatre, inbetween being told they have three hours ashore "to do Venice". Not for me. No, no, no.
    silkywave, oldsomeman and emerald52 like this.
  14. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Did you ever watch The Sopranos? :D:eek:
  15. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    Me neither. And in the meantime, how poor Venice suffers from the wash created by these monstrous cruise liners. Wanton destruction!
    florian gassmann and emerald52 like this.
  16. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    Blank face due to total incomprehension. No, I've never seen an episode.
  17. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    Nor me...
  18. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    I never watched it either.
  19. Pageant

    Pageant Occasional commenter

    regarding taxes............ only a vague answer because I was never in the know about our joint finances (husband controlled it all from the day we married when I was 18) but, along the way he inherited a fair bit and went to see the family solicitor who kindly tied everything up in a trust so the tax man would never get his hands on it. Husband had access to the money (he is a trustee as was the solicitor) so he could take out whatever he liked, but it was all left in trust for our daughter.

    (I left him four years ago so none of that applies to me)
  20. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    I taught my daughter secretarial skills as a teenager and from the age of 15 she did temporary office work in many different offices in her summer holidays. She saved good money towards university and also learnt a lot about the world of work so that she knew which area of work she wanted to go into later and this helped her choose her university course in later years. I think my instruction was very worthwhile. PS I also taught thousands of other young people these useful subjects too and enjoyed every minute.
    Norsemaid likes this.

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