1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Lesson 2 in sex education

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Duke of York, Aug 9, 2015.

  1. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I've mentioned in the past that boxer dogs are crumpet magnets. Now's the time to move up to the next stage and introduce puppies. Be in no doubt about it, if you take a puppy of any sort into a pub, you'll get a flock of women round you before you have the chance of buying a pint and a decent look down the barmaid's cleavage as she leans across the bar to coochicoo the puppy.

    Take it from me, the smaller the puppy the better. The Ahhhs and Awwws you get are inversely proportionate to the size of the pup. Sooner or later, scientists will make mice that look like miniature terrier pups and then we will be? One minute cooing over them down the pub and the next screaming blue murder and standing on a chair if she finds one in the house.

    There's a mystery though worth thinking about in that every bird you encounter has two questions. What the pup's name is and how old it is. I know enough about women to get me by without getting my collar felt more often than some, but it's beyond me why a stranger wants to know what my pup's name is or when it was born.

    I think the trick is to keep the puppy out of sight in your pocket and only produce it when you see a bird you fancy, otherwise you'd never get the chance to drink your beer.
     
  2. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    A mate of mine used to chat up ladies he meet while walking his dog.....he seemed to have gained a lot of pleasure in many ways from this chat up strategy.
     
  3. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    A guy I know swears that buying a bag of Cheese & Onion crisps is a sure fire way of attracting the ladies (cheaper than a puppy.) I've watched him in action at the pub, it works a treat!
     
  4. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Animal abuse, matey. Taking a poor pup down the pub just to assist in your amorous conquests. Get out there and let the thing have a few sniffs! Even at the stage when it isn't allowed to walk in the great outdoors you can put it in a suitable receptacle!

    And further shame on you, DoY, for virtual infidelity. You may not be actually 'at it' but you're betraying your beloved by even contemplating seducing another woman! Tut tut! Randy old goat.
     
  5. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Must go and buy a puppy LOL....wonder if it works for an old man?.to grumpy's statement :)
     
  6. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Oh, oldsome. Not you as well????!!! Now I am truly shocked. I might have expected it of DoY but I thought better of YOU!

    Note to purveyors of puppies: do not let your puppies get into the hands of frustrated/lecherous old geezers. Or middle-aged ones. Or young ones.

    Naughty fellows.
     
  7. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Do you want to come and see my puppies?
     

Share This Page