1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Leeds earthquake

Discussion in 'Personal' started by NellyFUF, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Apparently there has been a small earthquake in Leeds!
    It'll have been the sprouts!

     
  2. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Apparently there has been a small earthquake in Leeds!
    It'll have been the sprouts!

     
  3. I think we felt it here. I thought I 'felt' a firework go off and OH though he heard someone come up the stairs. Was about the right time.
     
  4. When was that?
     
  5. Just read it. We are North West Leeds and didn't feel a thing!
     
  6. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    obviosly the south leeds lot didnt eat enough sprouts lily! lol
     
  7. Apparently it was in Ripon. It was felt in Skipton. Am just the other side of Skipton, but we didn't feel it!
     
  8. blazer

    blazer Star commenter


    A major earthquake measuring 3.9 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Epicentre: Leeds, Yorkshire, England. News of the disaster was swiftly carried around the UK by 85,000 racing pigeons. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering"flippineck" and "choofinnoorah". The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
    Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Radio Leeds reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Leeds. One resident, Tracey Sharon Braithwaite, a 15yr old mother of seven said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Madonna came running to my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyley Morgan and Britney Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha this morning."
    Apparently though, looting and crime did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone china from Poundland.
    HOW CAN YOU HELP
    This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for anyone unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps; Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers); Shell suits (female); White sports socks; Rockport or CAT boots. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals; tins of baked beans; ice cream; Cans of colt 45 or special brew.
    22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms;
    £2.00 buys fish & chips and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine;
    £5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
    Urgently required is tinned whippet food.
    Please do not send tents as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population in area.
     
  9. piglet171

    piglet171 New commenter

    Ha ha very funny. Actually Ripon is pretty posh!! Could you do an alternative posh version for them?
     
  10. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Following the earthquake in Yorkshire Ripon District council has declared that forwith there will be regular earthquake warning drills in the town. The drills are as follows:, Families will be woken at 2:50am by their au-pairs shaking their beds and rattling crockery to simulate the actual tremor. Copies of Hello, The Daily Telegraph and a jar of Duchy Originals Preserve will be strewn on the kitchen floor to simulate damage. Local rail services will be disrupted by "the wrong type of earth tremor" and thousands of brave Northern folk will phone in sick.
    HOW YOU CAN HELP

    * £2 buys a jar of Duchy Originals preserve to fall from the kitchen table
    * £10 can pay for the au-pair's efforts
    * £15 buys a Schaeffer ballpoint pen in presentation case for filling in a spurious compensation claim from tripping over a dropped copy of Hello magazine

    PLEASE ACT NOW
    Simply email us by return with your credit card details and we'll do the rest! If you prefer to donate cash, there are collection points available at your local branches of Waitrose or Coutts bank.
    Help us to send an Earthquake to Ripon!
     
  11. piglet171

    piglet171 New commenter

    Funny, but not as good as the Leeds version. Obviously you are not posh!!!
     

Share This Page