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Leave for father's death

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by flowerpower100, Apr 18, 2016.

  1. flowerpower100

    flowerpower100 New commenter

    Sadly my father died last week and although work have been fantastic so far, I just wanted to know how much time I should/could be allowed off. My parents live about 3 1/2 to 4 hours drive away, so it's not close.
    Thanks
     
  2. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    There seems to be no national agreement. You will have to ask school what their policy is on the matter. Whatever the time allotted officially it is not uncommon for teachers to take sick leave beyond the agreed point of return if they feel unable to work.

    So you should ask school and fall in with their policy but do remember that, if you are too stressed to return as quickly as all had hoped, you have the option to self-certificate and then see your GP with a view to being signed off.

    My condolences.
     
  3. flowerpower100

    flowerpower100 New commenter

    Thanks
    I'll speak to school before I panic!
     
  4. install

    install Star commenter

    My condolences also. Grief can't be measured and I agree with the advice above.
     
    flowerpower100 likes this.
  5. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    I believe the technical term is 'compassionate leave' and the policy will probably be totally dependent on school policy.

    I did quite a few sessions (as supply) for a colleague whose husband suffered bad 'bouts' whilst suffering from skin cancer for several years, but that's because the Head was particularly understanding.
     
  6. nomorenails

    nomorenails New commenter

    So sorry for your loss, can't even imagine how hard it is. Hope your school support you through this x
     
  7. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    Worth saying that a colleague/friend was so knocked out by his father's death just before Christmas one year that he took off the rest of term...with pay as compassionate leave (that was about 7 working days).

    So take what you need, I suggest.
     
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  8. eljefeb90

    eljefeb90 Senior commenter

    Look at what your school policy says. mine allowed 3 days so that's what I took when my father died last year. My Head told me to take as long as I needed and I'm sure she meant it. It all depends on how you are coping and how those around you are affected. My advice would be to be kind on yourself and give yourself 5 days off to grieve, make arrangements and support others, although you may need longer. I think we are so used to prioritising work and cutting corners in other parts of our life that we have a permanent guilt complex about taking time off. Better that you take the time to grieve properly than feel like a zombie. You have my condolences.
     
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  9. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    I was allowed three days leave (I could have had more but it ran into a holiday) when my Dad has his cancer operation and needed a bit of support.

    I was very grateful the school gave me it, I assumed it would be unpaid but in actual fact I was paid.
     
  10. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    One week is 'average' for this although employers will vary.

    Obviously, if grief is affecting your ability to do your job enough, you would be advised to go on sick leave until you are well enough to return, although grief affects different people to different extents for different situations - I have known people return within a week for similar and not at all!
     
  11. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    Sorry to hear this. Condolences. I hope your school give you as much time as you need.

    Have you found this website? I found it helpful when helping my mother sort things after my father's death.

    https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/overview
     
  12. Coolgiraffe

    Coolgiraffe Occasional commenter

    Sorry to hear about your loss, I've been through this with both my parents. I took a week off initially then I went to the doctors to get a sick note for stress due to bereavement for about 3 more weeks.

    It also depends on who else in your family will be struggling and needs you for support.

    Lots of love xxx
     
  13. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    It does depend on the individual and their situation-there's no right answer. Over the years, I had workmates who took off the time they needed-there's no 'right' answer. I have to say that all the heads did tend to be very giving-and we all (whether NQT, HOD, SLT) tried to do a bit extra to help. Hopefully your school is one of the schools like this.
     
  14. ScotSEN

    ScotSEN Senior commenter

    My condolences.
    As others have said there is no right amount of time. I've no colleagues be back within a week others have been off for far longer. Do what is right for you and if it is more that the school's compassionate leave and the time you can self-certificate see your PG.
     
  15. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Our policy was 3 days for a close relative but there is always the option of sick leave if you still are not fit for work. i took 3 working days plus a weekend for my m-i-l. this involved a trip from England to Scotland.
     
    ultimatedingbat likes this.

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