1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Lazy Parenting or Standard Tactic for Managing Naughty Children?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Eva_Smith, Aug 16, 2011.

  1. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    I was in the supermarket just now and a child was being, according to the parents, far too naughty. They were obviously bored and we just picking up jars and boxes to look at them and then putting them back.
    I was nearby and the mother snatched a box from the child and said, "Don't do that or that lady will shout at you!"
    I turned to her and said, "Actually, no I won't, because that's YOUR job" and walked away.
    This is not the first time I've come across this. When I used to work as a shop assistant, parents would regularly use this tactic to get their kids to behave. Why do they have to threaten their child with a stranger's wrath?
    Or should I be more sympathetic?
     
  2. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    I was in the supermarket just now and a child was being, according to the parents, far too naughty. They were obviously bored and we just picking up jars and boxes to look at them and then putting them back.
    I was nearby and the mother snatched a box from the child and said, "Don't do that or that lady will shout at you!"
    I turned to her and said, "Actually, no I won't, because that's YOUR job" and walked away.
    This is not the first time I've come across this. When I used to work as a shop assistant, parents would regularly use this tactic to get their kids to behave. Why do they have to threaten their child with a stranger's wrath?
    Or should I be more sympathetic?
     
  3. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    so their child will still be their friend ..
     
  4. Sometimes, it's to show the child that his/her behaviour is something society frowns upon. More often it's because parents kno their child won't pay the blindest bit of attention.
     
  5. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter


    [​IMG]
     
  6. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter


    to them . . . . . but the wrath of a stranger . . . . well, it's surely just another way to pass the buck.
     
  7. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    What's that saying about it takes a village to raise a child ...?
     
  8. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I was at the gym today and was heartened and slightly surprised to over hear a few top notch conversations tween mums and children. One parent was deep in conversation with her two young boys and explaining something in quite simple but adult language - they were engrossed. The other mum was reprimanding one of her boys, and his choice and her sanctions were made quite clear. I was impressed.
    Living in a council scheme it's easy to forget that really good parenting does go on.
     
  9. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Does the village include random people who happen to be standing nearby in Morrisons?
    Maybe she could just sense the teacher vibe?
     
  10. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter


    . . . . . there's so many ways to interpret that saying though.
     
  11. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Really lazy parenting is when they shout - from a park bench.
    "Stop that , or I'll get up ....."
    I used to say to mine, "Stop that or I'll tell your mum".
     
  12. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    [​IMG] Your kids must have grown up with a well developed sense of humour.
     
  13. DaisysLot

    DaisysLot Senior commenter

    I would prefer my child above anyone else to fear my thoughts and opinions on their behavior, just as I did my parents - Not in a victorian way, but out of trust and respect. I had an unfortunate incident recently where an old school friend visited with their 6 year old boy - all fine - then I twigged the kid was a nightmare in the making, more for the fact that his mother didn't tell him off... after grating my teeth for 30 minutes I had had about enough of the child pulling stuff off my bookshelves, pulling hte DVDs out and throwing them at the dog, all topped off by him tying my shoes laces to the legs of my chair - I waited for the mother to step in... nope.. not a word... I ask him why he had tied my laces to the legs of the chair to which he replied "So when you get up you will break your neck"... He looked bemused when I told him that if he didn't untie them in the next 2 minutes I would consider breaking every bone in his destructive little fingers. His mother thought I was a bit harsh. Good. Hope he stays away until he can bloody behave.
     
  14. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Presumably if you watch a child for long enough to ascertain they're only misbehaving because they're bored the parent might notice you and may think you disapprove enough to disapprove.
     
  15. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Wasn't watching the child, however if you enter the shop at approximately the same time as someone else, chances are you will pass them a few times as you move around the aisles.
    In fact, at the time when she told the kid I would shout at them, I was engaged in an internal battle between which flavour of Doritos to buy, so trust me...when such serious decisions are to be made I most definitely wasn't concentrating on her child!
     
  16. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I could murder a Dorito or 6.
     
  17. It is lazy but I did the same kind of thing the other week. I was on the train with my two plus three of my friend's children. Her 6year old was tired and tried to climb on the table, while whinging away. I told him to sit properly and said I wasn't sure what the conductor did to little boys who treated the train like that. His sister piped up " He puts them in a room in the dark and kills them!" I started to disagree but the conductor started saying over his microphone "Yes I do, so sit down and be quiet (child's name)!" I wasn't expecting the back-up but it helped!
     
  18. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Brilliant. [​IMG]
     
  19. A shop assistant is reasonably held to be a custodian of the shop's property, so yes, telling an errant child that the lady [shop assistant] will be cross is OK in my book.
    The parent telling the kid (and enforcing it) to stop touching things in case he breaks them/other customers don't want his paws all over them/it isn't yours so don't touch it, even better.
     
  20. I don't understand why they involved a stranger in disciplining their child (assuming you do not work in the supermarket) however I am afraid I do think your response was very impolite.
     

Share This Page