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Discussion in 'Personal' started by grumpydogwoman, Sep 23, 2018.
I suppose within Lawnmower parenting there'll be Flymo parenting and petrol mower parenting, because as we all know, serious lawn mowers use petrol.
We took our daughter to uni yesterday. She lives on the 4th floor and bins have to be taken somewhere downstairs. There is a lift. When we left, she asked us to take her cardboard cover from her tall mirror away as she didn't know where the bins were. We refused and told her she needed to find out for herself. How cruel are we!!
You mean like this?:
In my work as a mental health worker, my colleagues and I are seeing an increasing number of adults in their late forties/fifties whose parents have died, and their grown-up offspring haven't grown up enough to deal with the fact that they are adults and don't have mummy and daddy to run to.
Good for you @marymoocow
That'd be my reaction. When we had our lodger I'd go to great pains to explain HOW to do things. How to make a doctor's appointment. How to make a shopping list. But I wouldn't DO any of it for her. It would've been quicker if I had done those things. But I wouldn't. On principle.
I thought Helicopter parenting was hovering over the kids all the time being supportive, protective and interested. And suffocating.
Met a few of those.
It is likely to happen with older parents and one or two children.
Yes; my Sister thinks her family can’t get on without her constant attention
You're probably right @NellyFUF
I only ever just heard "helicopter parenting" as a phrase. I knew I probably would think it ridiculous so I made up something to suit my own prejudice!
I was both strict(ish) and laissez-faire.
But why is it happening? If parents were never like this in previous generations what has changed to make this happen?
1. Stranger danger/ protectiveness seeping into other areas.
2. Schools/ government/ curriculum that spoon feed children so that they no longer think for themselves.
3. Guilty working parents syndrome.
4. Housing/debt crisis meaning kids no longer leave home at 18/20 so are infantilised for longer.
Disposable income. We couldn't afford a car so I went to college on my own on the train,
Because many parents have the time and money, they supply more 'things' which means kids have higher expectations of materiel things while we were more used to saving-credit cards just making an impact on our lives.
I thought lawnmower parenting would mean an emotionally abusive cut the kids down at any sign of growth style on opening the thread!
I had to check it after my SiL mentioned it.
Every little blade of grass that might impede their progress must be ruthlessly eliminated.
It seems to be part of - All Shall Have Prizes etc etc. Nobody Shall Ever Fail.
Which is silly. Because, if you put me in for Piano Grade 8 tomorrow, I deserve to fail as I never practise scales.
5. An OTT fear as a parent of being accused of abuse by your kids. Of course, the real abuse is overprotecting them so when they should fly the nest they can't and/or won't.
It being Freshers and all I think by law parents should be banned by law from contacting their offspring from the day they are dropped off into Halls to the day they are picked up in December - and the offspring banned from contacting parents. Curing homesickness by letting them come home on weekends is like giving an alcoholic a drink - it won't do them any good in the long run. And I speak as someone who did come home too often at uni - being antisocial in my youth, who regrets doing this - bitterly - to this day and hates this time of year as it is a reminder of this. Kindest thing you can do as a parent (and in no way do I blame my own) is not to let your homesick uni kid come home.
And sometimes I do question 5-18 education, is it all to allow 18 year olds to party until 4am with £1 pints?
I think you might have hit the nail on the head there.
It seems to me that a great many aspects of our society are dominated by a fear of accusations and litigation.
Tried that one - the lazy and crafty little monkey just pulled the playmat she was lying on to bring the toy to her. Later as a toddler caught using the candy canes off the Christmas tree to unhook a particularly enticing out of reach bauble.
I don't lawnmower mine - I do make allowances and adaptations to try to let the child I have who has difficulties with things like motor skills and organisation function as "equally" as possible - so I've done things like tack the loose flap of coat fabric by the zip away from the zip to help her do things independently... so possibly a spot of quietly rearranging a few blades of grass on the quiet and breaking down things they have to remember into clearer steps.
I'm astonished she managed to do that without you having first gone through the learning outcomes.
Over compensating for a perceived lack of support from their parents when they were growing up? Each generation tends to go too far in the opposite direction to the child rearing attitudes of the previous one.