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Last minute wedding invite...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Eva_Smith, Aug 5, 2011.

  1. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Hello, just wondering what everyone else would do.
    An old friend sent me a Facebook message on Wednesday (received today) inviting me to the evening reception at her wedding....THIS Saturday! This is a friend I've known since I was around 5 years old. We grew apart a lot when I went away to uni, but have always remained friendly and send Christmas and birthday cards, in addition to meeting up a couple of times per year. I still consider her a close friend.
    I went to visit her back in February and she mentiond inviting all of the 'dancing girls' to her evening reception (we went to a dancing school for many years, and there's a core group of girls our age who were all friends, but who've grown apart a little). I said this was a good idea. However, an invitation never materialised, which I though was odd since she'd mentioned it to me, but assumed that she'd changed her mind.
    Then I received the Facebook message, which said that she'd been so busy looking after her little boy (1 year old) that she'd "forgotten to invite me"....hmmmmm. She managed send me the invite to her hen weekend over 2.5 years ago! Anyway, I was just interested in what others would think at receiving this last minute, haphazard invitation?
    I don't want to chop off my nose to spite my face, but it feels a bit odd. She didn't even wait for my reply. So there are a few thoughts going through my mind:
    1) What on earth would I wear?
    2) Do I buy a present? I haven't received an invition so therefore no wedding list, is it common for evening reception invitees to bring a gift to the reception?
    3) I can't wear any makeup yet on account of having laser eye surgery
    4) I'll have to go alone as my boyfriend is busy Saturday night.
    5) There are a few faces from the past who I no longer speak to (see previous thread on TES) who might be there.....awkward!
    6) I don't really know anyone except the bride and perhaps 2 or 3 other people.
    7) Do I let pride get the better of me? The "Whoopsie I forgot" thing seems a bit unlikely...

    So....would YOU go?
     
  2. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Hello, just wondering what everyone else would do.
    An old friend sent me a Facebook message on Wednesday (received today) inviting me to the evening reception at her wedding....THIS Saturday! This is a friend I've known since I was around 5 years old. We grew apart a lot when I went away to uni, but have always remained friendly and send Christmas and birthday cards, in addition to meeting up a couple of times per year. I still consider her a close friend.
    I went to visit her back in February and she mentiond inviting all of the 'dancing girls' to her evening reception (we went to a dancing school for many years, and there's a core group of girls our age who were all friends, but who've grown apart a little). I said this was a good idea. However, an invitation never materialised, which I though was odd since she'd mentioned it to me, but assumed that she'd changed her mind.
    Then I received the Facebook message, which said that she'd been so busy looking after her little boy (1 year old) that she'd "forgotten to invite me"....hmmmmm. She managed send me the invite to her hen weekend over 2.5 years ago! Anyway, I was just interested in what others would think at receiving this last minute, haphazard invitation?
    I don't want to chop off my nose to spite my face, but it feels a bit odd. She didn't even wait for my reply. So there are a few thoughts going through my mind:
    1) What on earth would I wear?
    2) Do I buy a present? I haven't received an invition so therefore no wedding list, is it common for evening reception invitees to bring a gift to the reception?
    3) I can't wear any makeup yet on account of having laser eye surgery
    4) I'll have to go alone as my boyfriend is busy Saturday night.
    5) There are a few faces from the past who I no longer speak to (see previous thread on TES) who might be there.....awkward!
    6) I don't really know anyone except the bride and perhaps 2 or 3 other people.
    7) Do I let pride get the better of me? The "Whoopsie I forgot" thing seems a bit unlikely...

    So....would YOU go?
     
  3. If I thought it would be fun I would go. I don't really like weddings though - it's okay if you know loads of people but often you end up politely socialising with someone's auntie with whom you have nothing in common, being forced to dance to a **** covers band doing ABBA and paying way over the odds for drinks. Maybe I just go to **** weddings...
     
  4. No, in the circumstances I don't think I would Eva.
    Given the late notice I think it would be fair to say you have other arrangements, but send her a card and wish her well.
    From what you write it sounds like attending would be fraught with worries and would be much more of an ordeal than a pleasure. Who needs that?
    Perhaps offer to meet up with her later and look at her wedding photos?
     
  5. Eva do you WANT to go? It sounds like you don't, not because your friend left the invitation so late but because of personal factors to you.

    I would just send a reply and say sorry, would love to come but unfortunately you have other plans.
     
  6. You have a built in excuse, Eva. The eye surgery would excuse you!
    She has been thoughtless, she probably knows she has. You could reply with great warmth and know you have been a nice person - not upsetting her pre-wedding day.
    Apart from that, just ignore her gaff. I am sure I upset a few people in the run up to my wedding. I hope they all forgave me, cos I really wasn't thinking about them as individuals at all.
     
  7. I know I forgot a few people I shouldn't have in my invitation process.

    Go if you fancy it.
     
  8. If you would like to go - go... She may have slipped up over invites, getting married is stressful. A card, not present, is all that is needed for such a late invite, however if you don't fancy it don't go. But if you think you will enjoy seeing people there from the hen night go...
    Either way send a card - and if you don't fancy it don't go...but pass on your good wishes,
     
  9. God we're all so nice!!!
     
  10. catmother

    catmother Lead commenter

    I would not go as I hate last minute invitations and I'm not that fond of weddings. I wonder if someone dropped out at the last minute and you were thought a suitable replacement? At the end,it's up to you but if you don't fancy it,you should have no guilt about saying no.
     
  11. Don't go. She regards you as an afterthought or replacement.

     
  12. Thanks, I was beginning to worry [​IMG]

     
  13. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    Difficult one. I personally would go if I could get in touch with the others I knew were going beforehand so I could make sure I wouldn't be stuck talking to a great Uncle or something. I wouldn't go otherwise because I wouldn't enjoy it.
    If you do go a card with a nice message in will be sufficient.
    I would also let her know it hurt you that you were an afterthought but I would do this at a later point because it wouldn't be fair to spoil her big day!
     
  14. Really? I must admit, I'd never turn up to this kind of thing without a wee gift.
    Eva, you have basically written in your OP a list of reasons why you shouldn't go, which suggests to me that your heart really isn't into going. I don't blame you! It sounds impractical for you at the moment and the last minute invitation wouldn't sit easy with me either.
     
  15. No. Don't go - it's too short notice and you have the ideal excuse that you are 'recovering from and operation' - you don't even need to say what. Send a card with that excuse and with your best wishes and saying that perhaps you can meet up sometime soon.
    I wouldn't let her know you were hurt - there's no point. What would it achieve? In addition, as your partner cannot go, you are, realistically, likely to be with people you don't know/ may not like/ don't want to be with for several hours. The very fact that you are posting here suggests that you don't really want to go, so don't. I have learned that life is too short for always 'doing the right thing'. I would think someone has dropped out at short notice anyway...
    Oh and don't anguish about it - rent a film and enjoy a bottle/ chocolates ...whatever or have anight out with some other friends.
     
  16. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Go if you want to. Don't go if you don't want to. Simple as that.
     
  17. Surely she wouldn't have invited you to her hen party if she didn't want you at her wedding? Maybe she really did forget. I'm sure it happens, particularly with people you don't see regularly.
    It sounds like you don't want to go though. In that case, don't.
     
  18. ROSIEGIRL

    ROSIEGIRL Occasional commenter

    I'm with Nutella. Don't over think it. Do you want to go? Fine. Likewise if you don't!
     
  19. Crowbob

    Crowbob Established commenter

    Go, get really drunk and make a nuisance of yourself. Then blame it on the medication for your operation.
     
  20. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Thanks for your opinions, everyone. I'm still in two minds. As suggested, I probably (definitely?) am over-thinking it.
    I would like to go and see her. I think I'll try on my dress from a wedding earlier in the year. If it fits and I feel good, I'll go; if I feel podgy and naff, I won't.
     

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