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Last minute Christmas Cake Recipe

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by angiebabe, Dec 22, 2011.

  1. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

    Ingredients:

    * 2 cups flour
    * 1 stick butter
    * 1 cup of water
    * 1 tsp baking soda
    * 1 cup of sugar
    * 1 tsp salt
    * 1 cup of brown sugar
    * Lemon juice
    * 4 large eggs

    * Nuts
    * 2 bottles wine
    * 2 cups of dried fruit

    Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again.
    To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
    Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
    bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make
    sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the
    mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
    dried fruit.

    Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit
    gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the
    wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
    Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one
    table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the
    oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget
    to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish
    the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
    Go to Tesco and buy cake.
     
  2. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

    Ingredients:

    * 2 cups flour
    * 1 stick butter
    * 1 cup of water
    * 1 tsp baking soda
    * 1 cup of sugar
    * 1 tsp salt
    * 1 cup of brown sugar
    * Lemon juice
    * 4 large eggs

    * Nuts
    * 2 bottles wine
    * 2 cups of dried fruit

    Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again.
    To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
    Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
    bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make
    sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the
    mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
    dried fruit.

    Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit
    gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the
    wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
    Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one
    table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the
    oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget
    to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish
    the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
    Go to Tesco and buy cake.
     
  3. ROFL!!!
     
  4. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    How did you get my recipe?!
     
  5. Here's mine:
    Discover that Delia's Cake Mix set from Waitrose is only £5 this year instead of £10. Purchase it.
    Get Christmas food delivery from Waitrose, and receive another box of Delia's mixture for free (they're piled up high in Waitrose too, they must have drastically overestimated demand this year!!)
    Forget to make it, or otherwise fail to find the time.
    Go out for the day and come home to discover daughter has made it.
    Try to make up for lost time by pouring at least half a bottle of brandy (then, when that ran out, calvados from last trip to France) into cake over 2 days.
    Ice on Christmas Eve (this part hasn't happened yet but it's in the plan)
    Hope for the best.
    Wonder what to do with extra box which goes out of code in Feb.
     

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