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Lack of confidence after SCITT/PGCE deferral

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by kp153, Nov 6, 2015.

  1. kp153

    kp153 New commenter

    Hi all, this will be a bit of a long winded post!

    Basically, I started on a Primary SCITT in September 2014. I had had next to no experience in a school setting and consequently I entered the course feeling nervous and full of self doubt. However, I ended up passing this first placement with an overall teaching grade of 3.

    I had not felt right for a number of years in relation to my mental health, but as the SCITT progressed I spiralled lower and lower until eventually I sought help around October/November 2014. I was diagnosed with very severe depression, severe anxiety and severe OCD. I was prescribed medication which I eventually began taking in the months following; I also received a number of sessions of talking therapy on the NHS. During this time, and around the beginning of my second teaching placement, I made the decision- with the help of the head of my SCITT course- to defer my second placement until September 2015.

    In the meantime, I continued with the academic work and lectures of the SCITT course, and volunteered in a local primary school in order to keep my head in 'school mode'.

    I resumed my second teaching practice at the beginning of October 2015. While I am feeling much better in myself than I was last year, I am struggling so hard with my confidence and self-esteem. This 'mental block' is stopping me from taking charge and being a confident leader as much as I should be. I am finding it hard to project my voice (most likely due to the physical effects of anxiety) and I am just not making progress as quickly as I should be.

    I am desperate for any tips/advice/techniques to help myself quickly become more confident, or any advice from anyone that has been in a similar position, it would be much appreciated!

    It is getting me down so much; I am coming across as though I am not bothered about the SCITT course, when this could not be further from the truth. This complete lack of confidence is very deep seated and I am working very hard to raise it. Please help!
     
  2. sofia_sen

    sofia_sen Occasional commenter

    Hi,

    Sorry to hear this!

    I'm not sure if my suggestion is really helpful but it's the best I could think of.

    A former student teacher was terribly shy. She didn't have any presence and often could not be heard because she spoke so softly. When she became nervous (because she noticed she was losing the students) it got even worse.

    We had a school-based drama teacher who worked with her on voice modulation and presence. It helped quite a bit. Initially it was definitely a "fake it til you make it" situation for her but it got much and much better over time.

    Would going for drama classes be an option for you? I understand you are not "just" shy, but as said, it's the best suggestion I could think of.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Findlotte

    Findlotte Established commenter

    Daily reminder that you're not defined by your mental health and that you can and will succeed as a fantastic teacher.

    You've sought help and suffered the worst part. You're an inspiration to people currently experiencing what you were feeling last year and you're showing them that it does get better!

    Do you have a support network? Do you believe in yourself?
     

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