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kids at Uni- do you help financially?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by tod sal, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. Eldest just left- did have a windfall, and still has £600 left. I did a food shop a few times a year and the very occassional £50. Second has spent all her windfall in the first year, and got about £1500 more than her brother in her loan payment, has an overdraft and is now in tears as she has worked out she cannot afford to live. Her rent is more than her loan. Just wondering if parents are expected to help out. Firstborn seemed to manage fine- but did pay about half in rent- different cities. I remember being broke as a student- wasn't that part of it? I worked in a bar and managed to leave with a £50 overdraft. Daughter says all her flatmates' parents help out- indeed some even pay the rent! Am I being a tightarse? I thought I was just teaching one of life's lessons- you can't have everything you want- and sometimes not even what you need. I would be interested in your thoughts
  2. What are calling a "windfall" ?
  3. When I was a student (1975) fees were free and there was a grant. I wasn't entitled to it at first but when my brother started I got the lot. More than enough to live on.
    We thought we would provide fees and rent for ours. Well, that was jolly expensive. Isn't it annoying the way things go up over 30 years. By the time you throw in the petrol for three return trips and the supermarket trolleydash, I was all spent out.
    They each took out a maximum student loan and spent it on beer and partying on down Ah well, you're only young once.
  4. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Depends on what the parents can afford, but I don't think they should be funding everything. My estranged father covered my rent £250 a month when I was at Uni, I was very grateful and I had no other finacial support. I worked at a fast food place 3 shifts a week and had my loan to live off.
    I think if parents are well off and can afford to without it being a problem then helping out with the rent is a helpful gesture. In this situation depends how much the windfall was?
  5. They both got about 2.5K from late grandad. Was meant to last the going-
  6. So, daughter's loan paid for rent last yr and she spent another £4K. This year, she has no money apart from loan, which has gone down. On paper, we are not badly off, but in reality never seem to have any cash.I have said that I will give her £50 a week to live on. This is what her brother managed on. It's enough for basics. If she wants any more, and she has to get a job ( which she is planning to do- if possible.) I can affort that, but will mean I don't go out/ go shopping. I just got a £1000 quote to treat my woodworm, had to get new boiler not long back means not a lot spare.
  7. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Yes, my dad paid for my rent and gave me £200 a week but £150 of this was from my mum's pension. I did always work in the holidays, though.
    I agree you can't always have what you want, but on the other hand shelter and food is pretty vital! I think I would help on the understanding that she looks for part time work in the meantime x
  8. It does seem to be expected that parents will help out to about £2000 a year if you are on a non income assessed loan!
  9. We have been on income assesed loan- I think that's why she got more than her brother- maybe cos they were both at Uni at the same time- don't know really why she got more. But... since got threshold and both me and husband are on more, so suspecting that she might not get the extra now. She did fill in form without the income assessed bit, and is doing so now. Solution would have been for us to have divoced, her to live with dad ( lower income)[​IMG]

  10. My loan just about covered my rent, bills and fees. My parents sent me £20 a week for food. In my last year, I drove home every weekend to work in a shop so they didn't send anymore. Graduated in 2008 and I believe my loan stands at roughly seventeen thousand pounds.
  11. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    My ex pays maintenance, even though the eldest is now 19 and at University. So the money he pays for him ( £250 per month) I pass on. The youngest is still at home so the £250 for him stays in the household "pot" and goes towards food, clothes, bills etc. When he goes to university next year ( fingers crossed!) then the £250 per month will be passed onto him.
    During the summer break, my eldest "paid back" £150 per month whilst he was at home. He ended up £3000 in credit over the year!
  12. I finished uni in 2008. My loan covered my rent and left me with about £100 - £200 for the year. My mum gave me £20 here and there when she could afford it and took me food shopping a few times a year. I got various jobs to cover the short fall and became a hall warden in my final year as this meant that I didn't have to pay any rent. I knew how to work hard and always had enough money for food, lots of clothes and nights out.
    If she's been out and blown all of her money then she needs to learn better money management skills. Personally I would pay the short fall in her rent and give her £20 a week to cover her food so that she didn't starve. Any nights out or new clothes she'd have to pay for herself. Otherwise you run the risk of teaching her that it's ok to be reckless with money as mum and dad will always bail her out.
  13. Cervinia

    Cervinia Occasional commenter

    If 'helping out' is simply giving them money because they've run out/frittered it all away, how exactly is that 'helping' in the long run?
  14. Quite right. Although we have helped eldest in Germany, because it is foreign country and she has no grant, she has now got international job surveying Health Chiefs in Netherlands to supplement her studies. Blasted British students expect it all done for them.
    I suspect if they actually had to do anything in the UK they might be able to pay for themselves.
  15. The only help I ever had was the fact that I lived at home so had no rent to pay,
    I had to work the whole time I was at Uni though or I had no money.
  16. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    Where is she living? Youngest son went to uni last year and chose a shared self catered flat with shared facilities as he thought he'd be paying for everything. He has friends who were paying much more, but then they had a place in the nicer accomodation, fully catered and private facilities (I kid you not, it is often expected by many students these days it seems).
    I pay his accomodation and he takes a loan for the rest. I haven't given him any more money, have done a couple of not that big food shops and pay for him to get there and back at the end of terms. Younger colleagues at work I spoke to said they'd have just taken the full loan and enjoyed it which is exactly what he has done. He lives reasonably, not extravagantly by any means and doesn't have any spare cash so has to come home in the hols. He does have a very full student life though!
    I pay his accom as otherwise he would have to work quite a lot and I saw a study that said students who work a lot get worse degrees, quite a bit worse. If he's going to uni I want him to do as well as he can and I can afford to help without it stretching us too far. He doesn't have to work, though chooses to to get some extra goodies. Anything I could give him extra is being kept for him and older brother for when they get married, buy a house (!) etc. rather than just have a wild 3 years at uni. I think I have the right balance as he enters his second year.
  17. Mangle, is your offspring in the North? My sons fees for accomodation are more than his grant. In London.
    It's called the North/ South divide, unless you can come up with digs in London for less than £100 a week.... in which case, we're in.
  18. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    Wales, he was aware of costs before he went, it was one thing that influenced his choice of uni. Brother went to Brighton and cousin went to Manchester, he listened and learnt!
  19. Yes, certainly cheaper than London. And justifyably so. I like Wales, but it's hardly living.
    Me and Mr H have a place there. It's lovely and quiet, but for the youngsters?
  20. £200 a week!?? That's a HUGE amount!

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