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Just found out my boyfriend was married...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lillipad, Apr 3, 2011.

  1. Was that to me?

    No you are not "unclean"

    How do you come to that interpretation
     
  2. In fact, I know he is.
    My children were both born within wedlock.
    Why should I not find love again despite being divorced?
    You did, despite a child you brought into a relationship.

     
  3. You would not wish to form a committed relationship with a divorcee.
     
  4. Well, what the hell did you mean with committed relationships to someone who was divorced?
    Because I found that very insulting too.
     
  5. Again ... an odd interpretation

    I love my brothers and aunts, all of whom are divorced

    It is nothing about them or their "worthiness" but I believe that marriage is for life and would not want to marry a divorcee ... this is why I emphasised the word personally

    Re my son being the product of a pre-marital relationship ... I did not say that I was only interested in a committed relationship with a virgin
     
  6. Once you get to a certain age it's more likely than not as single people who've never been married are few and far between beyond mid 30s.
    I'm mildly offended that anyone would rule me out on the basis that I've been divorced (twice as it happens).
    Mentioning my previous marital status is pretty low on my list of priorities when I meet people - I wouldn't go out of my way to hide it but neither would I feel the need to mention it unless an appropriate moment arose.
     
  7.  
  8. I think most people think that marriage is for life when they go into it. Sadly many of us are divorced through no fault of our own. I find what you have said massively judgemental, and I feel really insulted. I won't say any more about it on this thread though.
     
  9. I believe being a parent is for life. You cannot expect people who are divorced to have made that decision for life, particularly if the other partner didn't think that way.
    I find your view very insulting.
     
  10. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    You're still on my list, Seren!
     
  11. Half of post disappeared

    I do not suggest that you should not find love

    There are many people with whom I would not find compatibility because of their beliefs

    As you point out CQ, I have an illegitimate child and that was a barrier to a relationship with some men ... I have no problem with that ... if a man was not interested on that basis then I would not have been interested in him

    I imagine that a divorced person would not want a relationship with me ... a person who does not believe in divorce
     
  12. So, you do think we are second class?
    I am failing to understand your reasoning.
     
  13. I wouldn't completely rule out a divorcee because there could be MANY reasons people divorce eg, domestic abuse etc and most are very good reasons. However, I'd certainly admit to dating a singleton over a divorcee only because of my own experience of divorce as someone in a family riddled with it. I'd like to think I will be the one to break the chain but I'm 27 and not anywhere near getting married, let alone dovorced so on that basis alone I probably WILL break the chain!
     

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