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just found out i have cancer.

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by tryingtoteach, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    thanks for your thoughts and advice. have almost cleaned the whole house, i didn't realise i had so many hidden corners, and although i won't be doing this every day before treatment i'm sure, it just makes me feel a little better about my first. thanks joli for your advice about the heatpad and tkollie - i will try to plan something nice to look forward to next week. i will try to report sat or sun to let you know how it all goes! i almost just want to get it over with now and get started!
  2. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    Hope all went well today

  3. All the best to you, TTT - I think it's tomorrow you start?

    Will be sending comforting thoughts. x
  4. My former wife (we're now divorced, but it had nothing to do with her cancer) used to have an odd metallic taste in her mouth when chemo was being injected, so she always took a supply of boiled sweets with her when she went for a dose. Afterwards she was tender all over her body for about three days; she used to say that it felt as though she had done fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson.

    On a slightly different tack: how is your OH coping? I found it very difficult to know how to behave when my wife was diagnosed. There is no acceptable code of behaviour - does one dissolve into tears at the time when you most need support, or does one resolve to use the British stiff upper lip and possibly lead you to think that the most important person in your life isn't concerned by your life-threatening illness? I used to move from one extreme to the other, but have known many who have adopted the stiff upper lip and never shown any emotion.

    Look after yourself, and take some comfort that many people wish you well. ((((((TTT)))))
  5. That is a really good question to ask. My friends husband was a source of support and he never wavered...She was going to get well and there was no alternative. He was a real source of strength to her...no doubt he was in tears in moments of solitude but he never ever let it show.

    Hope all goes well today am thinking of you!
  6. Not posted before but wanted to say that I hope it has gone OK today. Beautiful day here in West yorkshire so I hope you can at least see it from the hospital window. Sending positive vibes.
  7. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    well, i've had the treatment. Actually wrote apost on Fri night but pressed the wrong button and deleted it all!

    the actual treatment went fine. had a really nice nurse who talked me through it and OH stayed with me. Took 5 hours as i was a bit of a wimp with the last drug whichhurts your harm and i basically went pain free for 2 hours until i got bored and put up with the pain for last 20m so i could go home.

    Side effects - tired and lethargic, feeling sick but i haven't been sick, very very sore mouth and throat, been breathless doing the slightest thing whcih led to a full blown panic attack on Sat and a trip to the hospital ward to check my iron etc - all fine so highly embarassed.also, my mum was supposed to be going on a blind date but ended up taking me to the hospital. this poor man waited 2 hours, met her, then came to pick me up! All going well though and hes coming over for the weekend!

    the side effects lasted bad about 3 days and have just lingered really, feel a bit queasy on a morning and a bit breathless when i go up stairs but all in all, much better now.

    the thing i'm struggling with is anxiety. i've never suffered panic attacks and so far have had 3 and they're really scary. any advice? I think i've not dealt with the whole thing very well. i thought i'd accepted it, but seeing tablets which say chemotherapy on and going to choose a wig is all so scary and unreal. i feel like it s all just hitting me again and i kind of feel like i can't cope. everyone tells me how well i'm doing and i really feel i should have accepted it by now but i feel like its all become so real. i'd do anything to have my old life back. everyones getting ready to back to school. i really wish i was too. i've become so scared about the future. i just hope all this works and i never see the ****** again!

    (sorry - i waffled!)
  8. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    I apologise for all the spelling mistakes!!
  9. Glad to see you got through your first treatment.

    Your mum's date sounds like he is game for anything -let us know how that goes!

    I don't want to sound patronising, but I think most of us would struggle to cope with the prospect of all the treatment and its side effects, so don't feel that you should be able to cope.

    Some people immerse themself completely in the experience, as they feel it affords them some measure of control. Some people try to keep going as normal. You do whatever is easiest for you and don't be surprised if it is overwhelmingly hard sometimes. You are on a difficult journey.

    Is there anything you can do hobbywise to keep you occupied? Or are you often surrounded by people?

    And finally. Sorry if I sound clumsy at times, but I do think of you and the other ladies on this board. And I don't want to read all you posts and say nothing just because I am not sure what to say!
  10. I'm not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed by it all - I'm sure that having the treatment must have really brought it home to you what it was for.

    I think you must be kinder to yourself and stop worrying that you're not coping properly. I think you've dealt with it all so well so far.

    As for the panic attacks - yes, they are scary when you've not had them before, but once you realise that you can control them to a certain extent and that they are not a sign of something more serious, then they get less worrying. Controlling your breathing is important - slow breaths in with mouth closed, slow exhale with mouth open. I'm not belittling them, as there are people who suffer badly with panic attacks. But I've learned to control mine much better over the past year.

    I hope you continue to fight and to heal. Our thoughts are with you.
  11. lodhi

    lodhi New commenter

    Wish you luckwith all the treatment.

    Think postive. My husband had it. Treatment is very stressful. Some times he use to sleep whole day, some time felti sick for 3 days . Outcome is different with every one. Good luck and let us know. It is good to talk.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    Well the first one's over so tick it off the list ... one step nearer to full health!

    I think it would be really weird to not be panicking a bit at this stage of things ... give yourself permission to do so and just take things as they come.

    And I do like the sound of your mum's blind date - he seems like a good sort.

    Lots of love RG
  13. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    Just a quick note about sore mouth/mouth ulcers there is something my OH used called AMOSAN and you get it over the internet from the states. It is a mouth wash. he has had no problems whatsoever with ulcers etc.

    Good to hear your news and I hope that you find that as time goes on you start to feel a little perkier.

  14. I know two people who had this and they're both fine - both had it around 20- 25 and both in 40s now, try not to worry, :eek:)
  15. Jen26

    Jen26 New commenter

    my best wishes to you. My bro had something similar ten years ago. Fully recovered and he and his o/h r expecting a baby in oct. All the best and stay positive x
  16. Just to say my daughter's then boyfriend had exactly the same when he was 18. He's now 33, married and fully recovered.
    Keep smiling and be positive.
    Best wishes to you

  17. hi this is in regards to panic attacks. My friend gave me a good technique. you can do this sitting or standing. Place your feet firmly on the floor and then imagine roots growing from your feet down into the ground. See them spreading far and deep, like the branches of a tree.

    I have just been through treatment, a couple of times I felt panicky. I relaxed through breathing and visulised the roots. It calmed me down.
    I hope this works.

    The treatment makes you feel strange. The strangest I felt was because my red blood count was down. I had a blood transfusion and felt better.

    The treatment will end and you will feel better.
  18. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    "The treatment will end and you will feel better."

    thanks nanglenoo. i like this thought! the treatment does make you feel strange and it hink thats the best way of thinking about it. i'm not sure what to expect and worry about everything. woke up feeling sore all over this morning but have just started thinking "oh well".

    went out yesterday with OH to park and a pet shop. then went to mums bby myself. i was so proud i didn't have a panic attack. i felt a bit of anxiety at certain points but was ok.

    started to feel like i was 'losing myself' at one point - struggling to do normal things, panick about going anywhere on my own, going to lose my hair which is a big part of me etc etc etc. OH keeps telling me i'll realise i'm not just a ball of hair!!
  19. Aw bless your OH.
  20. Tryingtoteach,

    I had non-Hodgkin's in 1998 and 1998 and went through chemo and radiation. The Lymphoma Association was really helpful. www.lymphoma.org (I ran the London Marathon for them in 2005 so I?m certainly cured.)

    Although it sounded strange when he said it, my original consultant announced the diagnosis with the words ?You have a tumour but, if you had to have cancer, this would be the one you would choose to have.? Looking back on it now, it makes sense.

    The remission rates for Lymphoma are really high and remember that they include everybody (old, young, strong, weak ? as well as people who are already ill with other things). A fit and healthy 25 year old will have no problems dealing with the treatment.

    As regard mouth ulcers, try gargling with a few drops of Tea Tree oil in water. It tastes vile but it worked for me.

    Which hospital are you at? (Don?t answer that if you don?t want to)

    I?m currently training for next year?s London Marathon and am cycling, playing cricket, teaching, fighting with SMT, doing all the things I ever did. Except I enjoy them all much more now.

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