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just found out i have cancer.

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by tryingtoteach, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. I agree about the worst side effect being the sheer fatigue, although I did hate all the vomiting I had in the first 4 rounds. But people understand being sick. It's much harder for others to understand that you are completely and utterly knackered throughout every cell (that you have left) in your body and that the simplest of tasks is simply not possible. It's not a choice, it's a fact!

    I do yearn to begin to feel 'normal' - if you know what I mean. I can't do very much without thinking very hard - it's a bit like having an energy allowance and having to use the limited resources very selectively....so it's a bath today....no cooking or walk then....in fact, nothing else. Any thoughts on when 'normality' might start to return?
  2. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    i'm glad (in a nice way) that other people are going through this as well. TK - i know what you mean with the tiredness. i have to pace myself through the day and take regular breaks, so might get up and dressed and then sit down and watch tv for a while. if i go out, i need to come home after a certain amount of time. OH back at uni from tomorrow and i'm going to try to structure my days a little. would like to do some exercise - just a 10 minute walk in the morning, then a rest f course!! will be planning to have a bed break in the afternoons so might be able to actually do something!!

    we'll all get there in the end - just remember its not forever and its making you better. i kinda like to thikt hat its making me tired so my body has time to repair itself - remember - this is a good thing. its difficult sometimes when it makes you feel so rotten but its all for the greater good.

    keep your chin up everyone.
  3. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    hope we're all doing ok - everyones very quiet!

    Thinking of nanglanoo - hope shes doing ok.

    whats everyone up to? i'm in for chemo on friday so not expecting much from this weekend! lots of tv - got a full series of desperate house wives to watch plus loads of sky plus!! also bought new book and magazines. i read a full book last weekend had chemo!
    might try to sort out some paper work to. going attempt going for a walk on mon - not far mind. i'm wondering of the fresh air might help.

    because i felt so rough first time, i keep expecting to feel like that and for last 2 have been releatively (sp?) ok, not great, but ok, but worry about pushing myself. i get so bored though, then it depresses me!!gonna try and see it as an excuse to lounge around. quarter way through treatment this time!!

    hope you all doing ok x
  4. I am quite enjoying being on an ?up?week. This means that I haven?t been in bed during the day and have even managed a couple of outings! Nothing fancy ? a couple of coffees out locally and a trip to a garden centre. Last night I had a (small) burst of energy and started trying out sample paint pots on the kitchen/dining room wall ? kids thought I had gone potty as I usually do nothing in the evening except lie on the sofa. Needless to say today I feel shattered. How on earth did I ever work?????

    Of course, it?s not surprising that we feel so tired?.major surgery?poison galore ravaging a once happy body and then it will be radiation and then drugs. And that?s just the physical sid . Don?t even start on the emotional trauma! Plus I, for one, am not getting any younger (I have a BIG birthday in October)?.

    Anyway, I am trying to carry some of today?s energy into tomorrow because I have tickets to see Jonathan Ross being recorded at the BBC and I am determined to get there.

    I am very impressed that you read a whole book last weekend TTT. I have to admit to being a bit lazy on the book front as I am more likely to flit between newspapers and magazines ? such a waste of my time really as when I am at school I always moan about being too busy/tired to read more than headlines. I must try harder!

    It?s good, in a way, that your first treatment seems to have been your worst (thus far) as you know how awful it can be, but you are still managing to have better (not necessarily good) times. Are you sleeping ok?

    How is the eating going? I am now in a phase where things don?t taste how you expect which means I look in the fridge and nothing appeals. I think part of it is that I can?t actually be bothered to make something, especially when I am not really going to enjoy it.

    Yes, wondering how Nanglenoo is getting on and sending her lots of positive thoughts.

    I have my last chemo next Thursday (number 8) so long as my bloods are ok. Should I be thinking about a celebration I wonder?.I could try and do something while I am on the steroids, then I won?t feel quite so bad about having to spend my birthday in bed, zonked out!

  5. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    hi TK - glad you have had some 'up' days. it feels so nice ot be out and about doesn't it? it really makes you appreciate all those little things, like walking across the road for a pint of milk or a walk in the park.

    my eatings not too bad. i have been trying to eat healthily ie ledd junk and 5 portions of fruit and veg etc to try and give my body the best possible chance of getting rid of my lymphoma. not eating as much as i did after my first treatment - i was constantly starving cos of the steroids. that ones worn off thank goodness!

    i sleep pretty well, alhough i have a bit of a routine! have painkilers and then GCSF injection which makes my bones hurt, so then i have a hot bath with lavendar to 'relax my mind' before reading for a while then going to sleep. only thing that keeps me awake are my worries and fears, but being pretty positive at the minute so not feeling too bad.

    you should def celebrate the end of your chemo, even if there is more to come. its the end of a chapter and you deserve something to look forward to. how much radiotherapy do you need? how long will it take? have they told you anything about your progress yet or will they wait until the end?

    my lumps went down a bit after first few treatments and are def smaller, but not shrunk too much after last one. apparently they can get small pretty quick at first and then they slow down a bit. trying not to worry and to still see it as a positive but must admit, i worry slightly about the ones i cant feel in my chest and abdomen. only a scan will tell i suppose.

    off to cinema now - trying to make most of last 2 days before chemo.

    speak soon x
  6. I've been reading these messages for a couple of weeks now but haven't had the courage to post. I'm glad to know that your treatment is going well, and that you are keeping positive. It's so hard sometimes to keep a brave face.

    I have secondary Breast Cancer - spread to my bones. I'm off at the moment as I broke my ankle on the last day of term! Have hurt my shoulders heaving myself about so am feeling pretty miserable at the moment. Knowing that I'm not alone helps me get over myself and count my blessings.
    Everyone posting here sound great and really supportive.

  7. Welcome ICT - sorry to hear about the secondary cancer and the broken ankle. If you are happy to share your experience it would be interesting to know your story ie. when you had your original diagnosis...the treatment....secondary etc. Part of me wants to blank out those possibilities, but the reality is that it happens.

    Since my diagnosis of breast cancer in February this year I have found the TES staffroom to be a great support - initially on 'mammogram recall' and now on this one (many of the same people). Everyone who posts, whether it be from going through it themselves now, supporting a partner, experience of cancer in the past or wanting to send messages of comfort and support, is absolutley fantastic. I hope you will feel that you want to join us.

    How was the movie TTT?

    I will be having 4 weeks of radiotherapy - 5 days a week ~ and it's a bit of a trek to the hospital...not quite sure the best way to do this yet as everyone says it is completely knackering...
    In terms of whether it's working or not...I think they just assume good news until /unless scans/mammograms/lumps suggest otherwise.... or have I got that wrong?
  8. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    Oh has scan results tomorrow....we've got everyting crossed and praying that it hasn;t got any worse. he's been very achey and just that it's the cancer taking hold. he is quite weak and finds it difficult to do much..things were so much more positive a few ago but he seems to have gone down hill.
    I so hope we have a positive result tomorrow otherwise I really don;t think he will cope....:(
  9. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    OH has scan results
    a few weeks ago
    he thinks the cancer has taken hold
  10. So sorry Salsera - what a worrying and difficult time for you both. We will be thinking of you both tomorrow. Please post and let us know when you get the results.
    Lots of love
  11. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    my thoughts are with you salsera and we will all be thinking about you tomorrow. remember you can always post on here, no matter how you are feeling. x
  12. I came home from school feeling at my wits' end because I don't know which piece of paper to push first and I've just read the last few posts on here and it's put it all into perspective. We're having a staffroom coffee morning on Friday for the benefit of the Macmillan Nurses and I've decided that I'm going to make myself human again by making loads of cakes for it. It isn't much but, whatever you're doing on Friday; sleeping, taking on bucketfuls of vile chemicals, being zapped by gamma rays, feeling positive, sad, up or down - there will be a staffroom out there eating cakes for charity and thinking about you. Stay positive.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    Lots of love to all of you.
  14. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    that thought will comfort me IT!!!
  15. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    ICTatworthing - just read your post - I am so sorry to hear your news. Keep posting here the support is incredible. My husband has secondary bone cancer which is why I post - and I am amazed at the strength of all those who are experiencing this disease.

  16. lodhi

    lodhi New commenter

    best wishes to all of you and you are all in my prayers. Keep posting. Lot of Love to every one.
  17. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    Not good news the cancer has spread. OH has been offered more treatment to try to contain it again. :(
  18. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    salsera - at least they have offered more treatment sp they must be hopeful that they can make a difference. must be positive that they have not given up yet. how is he holding up? what treatment has he been offered?

    my thoughts are with you. x
  19. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    yes that's the spin I have put on it as well - it was hard telling the kids he was having more treatment.
    If this treatment last 18 weeks we're up to end of Jane and then if we can they have another three mo0nths after as we've had now, then that's longer than we first were given.
    I know there is something positive but it is so hard and we feel very numb.
  20. It's easy to get through life with excellent health, loved ones, money and no stress. I've not had cancer but have immediate family who have suffered and I know the journey we all underwent made us better, stronger more considerate human beings. The journey has hellish moments and euphoric moments and I wish you all much more of the second. Keep positive. I firmly believe a negative mind works against the immune system. Find reasons to smile and laugh and let the good hormones do their magic. Most of all lean on those who need and want you to do just that.

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