1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

just feel disappointed

Discussion in 'Personal' started by missh27, May 4, 2011.

  1. Now I know i shouldn't because its family and its good news really but i feel like having a moan.
    I have 3 female cousins (sisters) currently 20,19 and 17 eldest got pregnant at 17, and the middle one got pregnant at 17. Now that is completely thier choice and support and respect them. They ended up getting council houses with thier boyfriends - etc etc, but honestly they have found it hard.

    Now the youngest one who is now 17, had so many aspirations, she even spoke about becoming a teacher a few yrs ago and has talked about going in the army. Basically she has something about her. and I hoped she wouldn't be like her sisters who have struggled this past few yrs to get thier qualifications as well as having a child. And yep, guess what, today she has put online her first scan picture.
    and I just think, so thats it? WIll you leave college like your sisters? everything be put on hold? feel like she could have done so much more
    and I know that babies don't stop you from doing things like uni and college, but It might put a hold on things and i think if she'd have waited and got her qualifications, eeven just her alevels then she might get somewhere.
    Maybe I;m moaningand I'n out of order (and I;m not saying people shouldn't have children, its just how i feel at the moment

    dont mean to offend anyone but just wanted to get it off my chest

    Miss H
     
  2. Now I know i shouldn't because its family and its good news really but i feel like having a moan.
    I have 3 female cousins (sisters) currently 20,19 and 17 eldest got pregnant at 17, and the middle one got pregnant at 17. Now that is completely thier choice and support and respect them. They ended up getting council houses with thier boyfriends - etc etc, but honestly they have found it hard.

    Now the youngest one who is now 17, had so many aspirations, she even spoke about becoming a teacher a few yrs ago and has talked about going in the army. Basically she has something about her. and I hoped she wouldn't be like her sisters who have struggled this past few yrs to get thier qualifications as well as having a child. And yep, guess what, today she has put online her first scan picture.
    and I just think, so thats it? WIll you leave college like your sisters? everything be put on hold? feel like she could have done so much more
    and I know that babies don't stop you from doing things like uni and college, but It might put a hold on things and i think if she'd have waited and got her qualifications, eeven just her alevels then she might get somewhere.
    Maybe I;m moaningand I'n out of order (and I;m not saying people shouldn't have children, its just how i feel at the moment

    dont mean to offend anyone but just wanted to get it off my chest

    Miss H
     
  3. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    How strange, 3 sisters all having babies at the same young age. It did sound as if the youngest was initially going to choose a different path, so I don't blame you for feeling a bit disappointed in her.
    Does she have a partner who will support her and the baby ... or will she too be on benefits?
     
  4. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    Do you know what, I've just watched panorama and I think your cousins might have the right idea. Seems almost impossible to get a house any other way. And if they lived in Sheffield they probably still wouldn't get one.

    Sorry but that programme has just really depressed me. I can see why you're disappointed though. I can't remember where I read it, but there was some research that made the news last tear which showed that teenage motherhood had a positive impact on some girl's lives. They completed their education and had a better sense of purpose and focus than they had prior to motherhood.

    I'm trying to be positive here!
     
  5. yeah your seeing the positive, but to be fair, i got through my education and got my degree and got a job as a teacher without having a baby!!
     
  6. I'm not sure exactly, as he is away (not sure where) with the army at the moment and she's not been with him that long (matter of months)
     
  7. Ah well

    Keeps us all in jobs
     
  8. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    Me too.
    I think the demographic of those whose lives were said to have improved were the sort of kids who
    Would've ended up as Neets. It doesn't sound like your cousin fits that mould.
    I suppose I'm trying to say that it doesn't have to be the end of get education/ career. But she has just gone and made her life a whole lot harder.
     
  9. Thats how I wanted to put it. she's made it hard for herself.
     
  10. Great - at least three more kids whose parents won't have a fookin clue about parenting, so we'll be left with having to socialise and educate their offspring. Now, I know there are plenty of "good" young parents out there, but there are plenty more who are hopeless. Why can't they put something in the water and only allow an antidote for those who have a clue?

    cyolba, eugenicist 21st century stylee :)
     
  11. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    You'd have thought that having seen her sisters go through it, it would have put her off.
     
  12. Thats what I thought, but oh well has happened now
     
  13. A stiff cock is obviously more appealing than a career. Perhaps she's not as intelligent as the OP thought. Actually, she's evidently a bit thick.

    cyolba, always ready to lower the tone :)
     
  14. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter


    Absolutely, curly. My youngest sister is nearly 29 and expecting her first child. Between our other sister and myself, I thought we'd put her off for life! [​IMG] You'd think that would be intensified at the age of 17!
    Cyolba, I do so love it when you pop up [​IMG]
     
  15. lovely comments cyolba, but you have cheered me up a little, haha
     
  16. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Anyway missh, I hope it all works out for her.
     
  17. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    I can see how sex is more appealing than a career ( even for a power crazed madwoman like me) but that doesn't mean you have to have a baby. Did you miss part if the sex ed course at your school cyolba or was it a school run my nuns?
     
  18. That's why I said she was thick. Too thick to listen at sex ed? Too thick to remember to take precautions or to say "No!"? Too thcik not to get drunk and then drop her knickers? Possibly all three. But, as the OP says, she's in a relationship with a soldier, so I assume that means that the relationship was/is more important than the career.
    You can get pregnant "by accident", but if you are using condoms and other forms of contraception, it's bleddy hard so to do!

    cyolba, educated by those he has emulated - arrogant curmudgeons with a cynical bent :)
     
  19. What's hard about it? It's quite tiring for six months or so whilst your sleep is disturbed, but no more of a bind otherwise than a low-paid full-time job. Babies are lovely. You get money and a house for doing nothing, and a free or subsidised nursery place that working women with husbands have to pay full whack for.
    It isn't by any means a terrible tragedy any more. Although the demographic of the no-hopers at our school does contain a worryingly large cohort of the kids of single mothers who had them very young.
     
  20. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    It's hard work if you do it right though. Yes babies are lively. But they turn into toddlers. Who push boundaries. Who you have to say no to, and keep saying no to. Who you have to play with, talk to, feed, clothe, bathe, clean up after, keep house for, stay in and look after, educate and stimulate. Then they turn into children who you have to do homework with and spend time with and put first and support and consider and...

    You get the picture. Its tiring. For a mature adult it's tiring and frustrating at times. For a teenager who's had no life herself it's hard.
    If you dinit properly.
     

Share This Page