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just agreed to divorce, what happens now....pls help!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by incognitoforobviousreasons1, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. Its apparent that OH no longer wants to be with me anymore - long story but goes out all the time for days on end, secretive, has nothing nice to say to me and berates me in public. I finally got fed up with it all and said lets call it quits then.
    We own a house but have no kids and I'm just in a daze as to what happens next. Obviously we need to sell the house but in the current market i know thats going to take a while. I have no family nearby to move in with so I'm stuck. I have about £500 disposible income a month after mortgage and bills for our house etc - should i move out?
    What do i do now? Please someone reassure me that it all going to be ok.
  2. laura1406

    laura1406 New commenter

    I'm so sorry this is happening. I've been divorced and initially its very scary.

    However - It WILL be alright!
  3. It sounds like you're well rid. :( Don't know anything about divorce, but good luck.
  4. Crystalsecrets

    Crystalsecrets New commenter

    It will be ok it might just take a little while to sort out.
    The first thing you need to do is get yourself a solicitor, most of them will give you the inital consultation free and they will be able to run through your options with you.
    As to whether you should move out that, i think, depends on the type of mortgage you have on the property. Some mortgages mean that you both own 100% of the property ( sounds odd i know) but this means he can't push you out and you can't push him out either so it would be down to wether or not you wanted to continue to live there with him while it was being sold.
    Is there any possibility he could buy you out of the house? that's if he wants to stay there? or vice versa, might be a quicker option than trying to sell it.
  5. whapbapboogy

    whapbapboogy New commenter

    Be careful how you tread sorting out the joint account, if you have one- I made the mistake of going into the bank and telling them I wanted to separate the joint account because we were having marital difficulties, wherupon the bank immediately froze the bank account with me not being able to access it to pay bills/ get any money out at all until he signed a piece of paper allowing me to, which he refused to.
    I promise you will be ok- there will definitely come a time when you will be relieved you have called a halt on this relationship, even though you may not feel that for ages. You are not alone- a lot of us, including me, have been through what you are facing- we are here for you.

  6. However difficult it might seem at the moment, it will be far better if you can both go to mediation and get all the financial stuff and property stuff talked through and settled as far as possible. Amicable is far far better than expensive lawyers who will cost an arm and a leg at exactly the time you can't afford them.
    On grounds for divorce... http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Divorceseparationandrelationshipbreakdown/Endingamarriageorcivilpartnership/Gettingadivorce/DG_193734
    You don't have to move out - and it's better not to if you don't have to.
    Please, dowhat you can to talk it through, and if the OH won't go to mediation, you still can, or talk to the CAB.
    Good look - and you will get through it, and you will be ok.
  7. laura1406

    laura1406 New commenter

    I dont mind if you want to PM me :)

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