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Judgmental mums

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by hhhh, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    So according to a recent survey, it's not the childless couple in the cafe who disapprove of your little one's shouting-it's other mums, we really are judgmental of others to make ourselves feel better!
    At first I didn't think this was true, but then from early pregnancy, it does seem to be the case that mums (and maybe dads!) think it's ok to ask about everything from your size to your diet to your boobs... and after LO arrives!!!!!!!!
    Anyone got any funny or annoying comments on this?
  2. I have to agree with Jodidi! I am quite judgemental about some people - however only regarding issues where I think the child is not safe. Such as people who drive with an infant sat on the lap of the person in the passenger seat or those who do not fasten properly or even use car restraints. The number of times I have seen a child stood up between the two font seats hanging on while the car is being driven is scary. So they not realise in an accident that child would connonball through the windscreen?????? [​IMG]
    However my grumblings are normally confined to angry mutters under my breath rather than passing comments!
  3. hummi7883

    hummi7883 New commenter

    I used to be very judgemental when I didnt have one....[​IMG]
    I have a 2 and a half year old who is extremely notty ....and embarassing at times...[​IMG]
    I guess its just his age,atleast he is better than the kids they show in jo frost's parental guidance...I feel good after seeing that...[​IMG]
  4. I once took my 2 year old son to a cafe with a friend - the next day they had a sign in the window saying only well behaved children were allowed in. (Oh the shame!)
  5. hummi7883

    hummi7883 New commenter

  6. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    Might not have been your kids!
    And there's unintentional judging too-got asked when my LO's sibling was due-I'm not pregnant!!!! Apparenlty I should have lost the baby weight by now!!!!!!!!!
  7. Where the kids are loose in the back or a pregnant woman is smoking or drunk or an 18 month old is eating a macdonalds in their pushchair....... that is clearly bad. The petty judgers need to be lined up and shot in my opinion. Everyone has their own way we will all do some things badly and some well.
  8. That's happened to me too! A lady asked how old LO was, I said 8 months. Then she said 'And you're having another one?!'. I just said no and walked off. And cried when I got home!
  9. I have also had someone say to be 'Are you pregnant again or are you just....'
    I cut her off at that point and just said 'Er, that's a little bit rude'. It was my birthday, and I was gutted.

    I have found most people ok, I had my little lady in a sling at the Eden project and she started to cry as she wanted food. A lady shouted at me from the distance 'No wonder your baby is crying... she has no socks on....she must be freezing...' I was mortified.
    I cried... It wasn't cold, her feet were fine and she stopped crying when I fed her. How rude!
    I get very defensive with her and any negative comments hurts. A lot.
  10. hummi7883

    hummi7883 New commenter

    And I also don't like silent Judgemental people...(whatever you call them))
    Instead of looking at you they stare at your tummy as if trying to make out if I am prego.
    Mannnnnnnnnnnnn I just had my lunch you idiot!!!!! [​IMG]
  11. Ha honestly moomoon it's bloody boiling at Eden!!
    Some of my NCT 'pals' were spouting today about a young mum in a changing room who was bottle feeding a very young baby. i.e she should be bfeeding him. I am embarassed to say i didn't tell them to think about what they were saying, i should have. Some of you will know of the problems my LO has had and of the battle i have had to bfeed her. i can't bear people being judgemental about how we feed our babies now having had a hard time of it myself .
  12. I must5 admit, I felt most BFing pressure from health professionals, never fromt he mums I know. Phew!
    I remember a nurse asking me how far along I was after I went for a blood test. i replied (somehwat frostily), "my baby is two weeks old". Cue one very embarrassed nurse.
    I'm 14 weeks with No 2 now and dreading telling people as my belly is where I carry my weight anyway and I'm sure I look about five months. [​IMG]
  13. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    It's not just other mums. You've got grandparents as well. Just spent a few days with my Dad and my 6 year old. Our slightly different attitudes towards tea times came out - Dad wanted my son to finish his plate but he was full. As well as different attitudes towards behaviour management.
    Mind you - I understand the judgemental thing. You should see the effort my ex puts in to getting the house tidy when other parents are visiting.
  14. What a horrible rude woman moomoon. Robyn I know what you mean the coaxing a full toddler to finish food is irritating (my mil does this and also helps my daughter eat completely unnecessarily). My mother is also a firm believer that they should be potty trained by 2 things do change haha.
  15. goonergirl2009

    goonergirl2009 New commenter

    On the subject of feeding... I went to take Charlotte to be registered when she was about 10 days old and when I got there she starting crying because she was hungry. The woman at the Town Hall asked if I wanted to warm up a bottle. I thanked her but said that I was breastfeeding. The conversation then went like this:
    Town Hall woman: "Oh, I see. Even in public? Well, I suppose you can feed your baby in the waiting room and I guess the other people will have to leave."
    Me: "Nobody has to leave the room! I am fine feeding her with the other people around. I will just sit in the corner over there and feed her."
    Town Hall woman: "Really? Even with men in the room? And children? Well, I suppose it is up to you..." (walks off shaking her head in disbelief)
    That was my first experience of breastfeeding in public! However, the other people in the room just smiled and nobody ran away covering their eyes in embarrassment and disgust so it did not put me off and I continued to do it until Charlotte was nine months!
  16. I had a wonderful moment once when I was breasfeeding in a shopping centre. A rather officious woman came up to me and said that there was a seat in the ladies' toilets for breastfeeding. I came out with "Do you eat your dinner in the toilet?"

    Oh yes that was a good one!
  17. I find myself a bit :-/ at parents who bang on smugly about only letting their kids watch DVDs and not tv. It's pretty much the same thing, in my opinion. And it's not like there's any advertising on CBeebies (I don't really want my daughter seeing adverts if I can help it, and she only watches for half an hour before bed-time, so ner..)
    Oh, and I also feel a bit :-/ at people who refuse to give their kid the odd chocolate button, but will happily stuff them full of dried fruit - just as bad for their teeth, if not worse (with some types of dried fruit) and really, if a kid has a healthy diet, the occasional chocolate button is not going to do any harm.

    That's been floating around in my head for a while. Thanks for the opportunity to share. ;p
  18. I would say that's me being judgemental, but that's fine. We all are, a bit.
  19. What's wrong with tv?! ;-) my lo probably watches an hour (sometimes more) a day and I must admit just now when I was frantically trying to get dinner ready and she was whinging, oh still at work, I did put it on as a babysitter/ distraction. Shock horror, terrible mum alert! She has an amazing vicabulary and gets more than an hour of exercise a day so im not worried at all. My turn to be judgemental now: toddlers with dummies all the time, not just for naps. Why??!
  20. Only cbeebies though, I must admit I can't stand adverts myself. She's very much enjoying Charlie and Lola at the mo as Lola is shoe shopping- lo LOVES shoes, haha!

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